Nakkiel

I don't drink often any more, but when I do I want to completely let go of myself. When I started drinking I would only drink when happy. Then for a couple years I escalated. After some unfortunate things in my life I was drinking about a case of beer and half a bottle of liquor a week for two years and didn't really see it as a problem. I actually drank enough to put myself in a hospital one time, ended up with several thousand dollars in hospital fees because of it, and was drinking again 2 days later.

Over a year after that I flunked out of college, which was the wake-up call I really needed. While I have had alcohol after that I significantly reduced how often I drink. After a year and boosting my grade with summer courses I managed to get back in, and every time I get stressed I am just wanting a drink. It is the exact opposite from when I started drinking, I no longer just want to have more fun but am drinking just to make the stress go away. I know this may not be as bad as some of the experiences some of you may have had, but alcohol is having a negative affect in my life, and this is the first time I am freely admitting it.

dorito281211

Welcome! You will find tons of support here . I encourage you to check out the AA website and find a face to face meeting in your area, and or post here and get the big book of AA. Coming here and posting is the first step, AA is so great as are all the other programs out there, you just have to have a desire to quit drinking, that's it
Welcome again!

Dee74

Welcome to SR Nakkiel

I think a lot of us can identify with starting to drink for fun but end up needing to drink to deal with stress or some other issue.

I know you'll find a lot of support and understanding here

good to have you with us
D

Dazee

Yes welcome! Everyone here has different experiences of where their alcohol and drug addiction ended up but we are all in the same place of trying to get better. You are in good company.

langkah

Of course you're drinking less, our tolerance drops off.

Many alcoholics get sober before damaging their lives very severely in areas that are important to them. Sounds like you're past due.

If you can bear to stop, then do. If you can't that means you're too far gone to be able to make and keep a promise to yourself regarding alcohol. You'll then need to get the level of help that will allow you to do that, and continue to do what you need to in order to take care of your condition the rest of your life.

You can get sober once or every few months/years like most, dragging this out and suffering further.

I know, it's not what you'd choose to be so if you could choose. Same as the rest of us.

phoebe64

Welcome, and wouldn't it be great to get a grip on this while you still have most of your life ahead of you? I wish I had.

Anna

Welcome! I'm glad you're doing well.

Terminally Unique

What does "not often" mean? Once a week? Once a month?

It may appear that you are drinking to relieve stress, but what happens is that over time, the alcohol does a number on your nerves. At this point, your nerves are effectively 'shot'. Alcohol is a CNS depressant, making you 'not happy', and your CNS will 'rebound' in the opposite direction when you stop drinking, making you agitated, nervous, irritable, etc. This can go on for a while, quite easily a few weeks, particularly if your tolerance has dropped.

You won't realize that the alcohol is causing all of this until you quit for about ninety days (give or take), however. I recommend that you read the book "Under the Influence: A Guide to the Myths and Realities of Alcoholism" by James Robert Milam for a very good, concise overview of how this works. It has been in print since 1984, so your college library undoubtedly has copies on hand.

JohnnyDetox

Welcome, this is a step in the right direction but if you find yourself struggling, there are many other recovery programs available. For me it's AA. All the best.

sugarbear1

I'm glad you are here! You said, "I know this may not be as bad as some of the experiences some of you may have had,...." and I can now add two things to my list of Things I Have Not Yet Done to my list (hospitalization due to drinking and that college situation). This isn't a competition, though. No matter what, your life is yours. You've made a wonderful decision to stop now. You can have a life beyond your wildest dreams!

You can stay stopped, too!

Nakkiel

Once every few months. I told myself I wouldn't drink at all during the school semester, got stressed out, and ended up drinking. So that is why I am here.

And thank you all for the support.

artsoul

Welcome Nakkiel!

Sounds like you've already seen some of the damage alcohol can do and don't want to go down that path again. Glad you're reaching out for some support - you'll find a lot of that here from people who know what it's like. Have you thought about talking to someone at your university clinic?

LadyNoBinge

Nakkiel, welcome! Thank you for posting, it is very brave to admit you are having a hard time, and very courageous to reach out for help. I commend you and thank you for your honesty! I identify with your story. Drinking started out as a fun thing and turned into an escape/numbing thing for me and after a while, i knew i needed to stop in order to get my life back. Take good care of yourself. xo

instant

It's good to get off the train if you see it's heading to a place you don't want to go. I left it way too long.

Don't wait for dramas and losses if you don't have to.