Poodlegirl

Hi everyone, this is my first post and I am glad I found this website. I have been sober since 12/29 and I drank on Monday. 3 drinks. After only the first couple sips I felt the all too familiar feeling of the alcohol taking over, like I could feel it coursing through my veins. I was happy, I was celebrating, I was out at one of my favorite restaurants having one of my favorite meals. It completely reminded me of why I stopped. Yet I wanted more, luckily I was coherent enough to realize I needed to stop.

I look forward to being on this website, it looks like an amazing place for support. It is nice to know that I am not alone in this, that there are others feeling the way I am. Thanks for listening!

Sapling

Welcome....It's a good place here.

justhadenough

Welcome

I am in a similar position. stopped on 3 Jan and had 2 drinks last night. Felt awful but like you stopped. I've had some great advice and support on here too. someone said to me that all the work we have put in has not been wasted -especially as we realize why we stopped in the firs place and intend to stay sober. good luck

Poodlegirl

Sapling - thank you!

justhadenough - That night I had a dream about my friend that is also in recovery, only a couple weeks longer than me. He was drinking and I took the drink away from him and dumped it out. I'd like to think that was my subconscious telling me that same thing - this night did not destroy what you have already achieved. I hope our minor setbacks only strengthen our resolves.

Sapling

Hey Poodlegirl...Just curious if you are working any kind of recovery plan...There are different options available here that different people use. Feel free to ask questions...A lot of great knowledge..Use it. I use the program of AA and it has worked great for me....But my favorite...Is the one that will work for you. Consider yourself amongst friends here....We're all in the same boat. Do some looking around and get started on changing your life. That's what it's all about.

Poodlegirl

Laying in bed hungover after a particular intense drinking session and some embarassing and completely inappropriate behavior I started reading AA's website and the big book. I finally admitted to myself and my bf that I am alcoholic. I realized it awhile ago but I never could actual admit it and say the words out loud.

I have been to one meeting a few days after I quit and want to, eventually, go to more. 4 days after I stopped drinking my bf's mother went into the ICU, 2 weeks later she passed away. To say this has been an intense year is an understatment. But I am thankful I did not turn to alcohol or have to deal with everything hungover.

Do you have any suggestions for meeting for newbies? Should I go to a beginners one? A women's only? Part of me wants to not go but another part knows that I need something that will keep me accountable.

theatredork

@Poodlegirl - just go to meetings (every day if possible). Women's ones are good, and ask people when you're there what are good meetings to go to. The biggest thing is to get used to going. I you do a search for an intergroup in your community (I see Cincinnati - I did a quick Google and found one) - they probably have a phone number, you could even ask the person who answers the phone if they have any good meetings they recommend. Newcomers are considered "the most important person in the room.' They will take care of you.

Nobody wants to go at first (well, a lot of people don't want to). Just keep going back.

Sapling

Sorry about the loss...Something drinking can't help. As far as meetings go...All of the above. Any meeting you can learn something is good....And I always learn something. Part of me wants to not go sometimes too...That's when I know I have to go....And then I hear exactly what I needed to hear...This program takes action....Got to put something into it...The rewards are amazing. It's a lot more than just stopping drinking....Which for me is a miracle in itself...It's about learning how to live....Something I wasn't doing a very good job at. Go with an open mind and embrace it. You'll meet some amazing people...Just like you.

bostonluv

Oh yes, go to as many as possible and try different ones out. Some you may dislike and others you will feel more comfortable in. I asked the secretary when I was new to ask members at whatever approriate time during the meeting to see who is available for sponsorship. Always gather courage and raise your hand when they ask, "Are there any newcomers?"

If you are comfortable please go up to whomever you'd like after the meeting and say, Hi. I'm new. Or, I liked your share. May I get your phone number and call you sometime? This is flattery and hope for / expected. Please do as much as you can to get into the pack. It shouldn't be difficult. It's just new and therefore scary!

WELCOME. You are already loved.

Hevyn

Poodlegirl - Welcome! We're so happy you found us. You're never alone in this. We all understand how you feel & are here to support your recovery.

LadyNoBinge

Poodlegirl, thank you for posting. It is brave to put yourself out there, i am glad you did. I am sorry about your loss, i hope you are ok. It sounds like you were able to learn some helpful things from your relapse, that is great. When i started going to meetings, i was scared to death. But everyone was so nice, they could tell i was new and reached out to me, it felt really nice. I was quiet and really listened and if i really identified with something someone said, i would try and talk to them after the meeting. Now i feel comfortable talking and i make it a point to welcome people who seem nervous or uncomfortable. Bottom line: people go to meetings to help and be helped, and they want to help you. Take good care of yourself xo

alaskasunshine

Welcome Poodlegirl! That first moment of relapse, with that first drink, when the alcohol is cursing through me and i get that happy, "all is right with the world" feeling is the most dangerous part of this disease, for me. The alcohol asks me how could feeling this good possibly be wrong? It tells me I am in control. Ohhh how I hate those moments, they are nothing but an illusion and they always lead to more drinking. Always. Not always the same day, but maybe the next day, or the day after. Eventually I drink right past that warm glow fuzzy feeling and blackout, wake up ashamed, remorseful and full of regret. It's a viscous cycle and it always starts with that first rush as the alcohol takes over.
As far as meetings, I had to try out a LOT of different ones before I found my home group.
Hang in there...
((((hugs)))

artsoul

Welcome Poodlegirl -

Glad you're nipping this in the bud..... Even better if you can look at what preceded the drinking and shore yourself up against it happening again.

Glad you're with us. (p.s.- I love Cincy - grew up there)

Zebra1275

Welcome to SR!

Dee74

Welcome to SR poodlegirl

D

sugarbear1

Congrats on your decision and on 2 days!!!! Everyone at a meeting has had a day one. We know how it can feel. Welcome!!

Stick around SR! You can stay stopped for good!!