gneiss

One of those nights. Bored. Can't sleep. Feeling isolated. I'm over two years clean and nights like this still make me want to go do some dope. I don't know if it's the dope so much as I'd be around people and have something to do.

Before I ever drank and did drugs I was fine being on my own, I could stay home without feeling bored or lonely. I got used to always going somewhere, always doing something, always having someone around. But the only place to go at midnight or later is a bar.

Does that little pull ever go away? Will I ever just 100% not want to do drugs? It's not like I can't handle it, I'm not headed out the door to go find dope. But it's irritating, why can't I just not be interested?

RobbyRobot

Yeah, it goes away, the pull is gone. Zero pull. It will happen for you too 100%. I don't know you enough to coment on why the pull has not vaporized yet. I can suggest though that you have not yet fully detached from your apparent *interest* to be comfortable enough with your *disinterest*, okay?

Something is keeping you just a little bit unsure of whatever. Two years is significant. You have every reason to expect the pull to be gone, but sometimes we just need to examine ourselves a bit more to finish what we started when we first abstained.