Question on being selfish
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 226
Question on being selfish
I brought my SO a nice red rose arrangement some chocolates and a sweetly written card for VDay. She was very happy and felt weird because she didnt get me anything (I dont care at all).
After dinner I ate one of the chocolates; couldnt help myself as they were open on the counter. Anyway - she freaked out that I ate one and called me selfishness and now is giving me the cold shoulder.
Was that bad of me? Am I just a clueless guy?
After dinner I ate one of the chocolates; couldnt help myself as they were open on the counter. Anyway - she freaked out that I ate one and called me selfishness and now is giving me the cold shoulder.
Was that bad of me? Am I just a clueless guy?
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Vancouver BC
Posts: 3
On the one hand, yes you should not have assumed that her gift was open for you to partake in. On the other, her reaction seems over done. She was justified to be unhappy with what you did, but no need to give the sustained cold shoulder.
My mom was big on that, never taking anything without asking first or waiting for it to be offered. Its manners yes, but her over-reaction seems petty to me.
My mom was big on that, never taking anything without asking first or waiting for it to be offered. Its manners yes, but her over-reaction seems petty to me.
The Little Alcoholic Monstress That Could
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,159
Whoa. I am a female and one piece is no biggie. It would actually make me feel like less of a fatty 
BUT if you ate like half the box I'd be like baaaabe you gotta buy more now lol but I wouldn't be mad or call you selfish. Maybe there's something else going on??
BUT if you ate like half the box I'd be like baaaabe you gotta buy more now lol but I wouldn't be mad or call you selfish. Maybe there's something else going on??
Professional Drunk
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Toronto
Posts: 465
The fact that you bought them for her and that she is your significant other really should eliminate any need for 'permission'. If she was a co-worker who happened to have a box on her desk as you walked by her desk....then yes you should ask before taking. But your GF? On valentines day? Take the chocolate back and dump her ass! haha
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Based on years of clueless male activity, I think it's probably best to wait til they're offered to you
D
D
(did you do something else? the fact that she did not get you a token speaks volumes)
this seems like passive/agressive behavior.
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Originally Posted by gippy1968
I brought my SO a nice red rose arrangement some chocolates and a sweetly written card for VDay. She was very happy and felt weird because she didnt get me anything (I dont care at all).
After dinner I ate one of the chocolates; couldnt help myself as they were open on the counter. Anyway - she freaked out that I ate one and called me selfishness and now is giving me the cold shoulder.
Was that bad of me? Am I just a clueless guy?
After dinner I ate one of the chocolates; couldnt help myself as they were open on the counter. Anyway - she freaked out that I ate one and called me selfishness and now is giving me the cold shoulder.
Was that bad of me? Am I just a clueless guy?
Take anything from anybody without asking and you're asking for trouble. You may get a free pass, a slap on the wrist or your nose broken.... the fact that you took it without permission is the problem, not the response you got.
I'm sure she'll get over it, sounds like you really tried to do a good thing. Next time will certainly be a charm.
Sober since Jan 1, 2012
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,583
Depends on your relationship. How long have you been together? Do you share a home, children?
If it was me and my husband, he'd think I was a freak for acting that way. I can't imagine acting that way either. If I didn't want him to eat the whole thing I'd hide it like I always do. ; )
If it was me and my husband, he'd think I was a freak for acting that way. I can't imagine acting that way either. If I didn't want him to eat the whole thing I'd hide it like I always do. ; )
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,964
Did you take her favorite piece? lol
Learn from this experience....buy two boxes next year.....or ask for permission....
Sorry, we often establish patterns of behavior with each other in a relationship, and if there's addiction in the mix, it can get really odd....and if you are already changing, she may not know what to do.....(there's a book called "The Dance of Intimacy" and the author, whom I forget, has at least another, I think "The Dance of Anger" you may want to read along with "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus")
Just stay stopped (drinking and/or drugging) and work on yourself, things will fall into place soon enough.
I wish you well!
Learn from this experience....buy two boxes next year.....or ask for permission....
Sorry, we often establish patterns of behavior with each other in a relationship, and if there's addiction in the mix, it can get really odd....and if you are already changing, she may not know what to do.....(there's a book called "The Dance of Intimacy" and the author, whom I forget, has at least another, I think "The Dance of Anger" you may want to read along with "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus")
Just stay stopped (drinking and/or drugging) and work on yourself, things will fall into place soon enough.
I wish you well!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by sissy07
I am a female, and I think she acted badly - she ought to be happy that she has you, a card, roses, and chocolates on Valentine's Day. Her reaction was wierd.
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