"Normies" will never get it
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Washington
Posts: 456
"Normies" will never get it
I just thought I'd share what happened to me today, it made me smile and chuckle a bit and helped lift some of the heaviness I feel.
Tomorrow will be my 1 year sober birthday and my mother-in-law thought it would be nice for us all to get together at their house for a small celebration with cake and cards. I wasn't really feeling up to it. In fact, I had a really bad headache and the Excederin really upset my stomach but I knew it was important to them so I played along. I actually felt I owed it to them (in a good way) after 11 years of marriage to their daughter.
M-i-l congratulated me on a year - I said thanks and told her tomorrow was actually a year. She said "close enough." I said "well, if I do the things the rest of the day that I did yesterday, I think my chances are pretty good" and "this party is a really nice start to finishing a good year."
As I said, I've had a really bad headache all day (likely just from stress induced bad eating this weeked) and sweet m-i-l says "I've got some vicodin, why don't you take a couple for your headache so you can enjoy the party?" I reminded her that it kinda goes against the spirit of why we are all together in the first place. She got a good chuckle out of that.
M-i-l said "Well, I guess you proved me wrong! I told everyone I never thought you'd make it this far." I just smiled and said "<with playful sarcasm> Thanks! I'm really glad I have."
Father-in-law said "Nice job, now go for two!" I replied "I think I'll work on finishing today first. It seems to be what I can handle."
The ironic backdrop in the scenario is the fact that my wife's alcoholic sister and alcoholic brother-in-law became homeless and just moved in with them from out of state (for a few days) a couple of months ago. I thought it could be awkward if wife's parents started lecturing the other two but thankfully it never happened.
It was all very pleasant. These days I don't have expectations of what others should think of me or feel entitled to a pat on the back (but they are nice to get). I'm glad my sobriety gives them hope. It is
SIL and BIL know what I'm doing and I worked with SIL over Christmas after she asked me but it's clear they have there own timeline.
Was I a bit didactic in my AA talk? Probably a little but I don't think they understood it anyway.
Tomorrow will be my 1 year sober birthday and my mother-in-law thought it would be nice for us all to get together at their house for a small celebration with cake and cards. I wasn't really feeling up to it. In fact, I had a really bad headache and the Excederin really upset my stomach but I knew it was important to them so I played along. I actually felt I owed it to them (in a good way) after 11 years of marriage to their daughter.
M-i-l congratulated me on a year - I said thanks and told her tomorrow was actually a year. She said "close enough." I said "well, if I do the things the rest of the day that I did yesterday, I think my chances are pretty good" and "this party is a really nice start to finishing a good year."
As I said, I've had a really bad headache all day (likely just from stress induced bad eating this weeked) and sweet m-i-l says "I've got some vicodin, why don't you take a couple for your headache so you can enjoy the party?" I reminded her that it kinda goes against the spirit of why we are all together in the first place. She got a good chuckle out of that.
M-i-l said "Well, I guess you proved me wrong! I told everyone I never thought you'd make it this far." I just smiled and said "<with playful sarcasm> Thanks! I'm really glad I have."
Father-in-law said "Nice job, now go for two!" I replied "I think I'll work on finishing today first. It seems to be what I can handle."
The ironic backdrop in the scenario is the fact that my wife's alcoholic sister and alcoholic brother-in-law became homeless and just moved in with them from out of state (for a few days) a couple of months ago. I thought it could be awkward if wife's parents started lecturing the other two but thankfully it never happened.
It was all very pleasant. These days I don't have expectations of what others should think of me or feel entitled to a pat on the back (but they are nice to get). I'm glad my sobriety gives them hope. It is
SIL and BIL know what I'm doing and I worked with SIL over Christmas after she asked me but it's clear they have there own timeline.
Was I a bit didactic in my AA talk? Probably a little but I don't think they understood it anyway.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 5,554
Congratulations. It is so good to read stories of success. I think you handled the family just right. While all a bit awkward, it is sweet they acknowledged your hard work, and talk about it, as opposed to awkwardly avoiding it.
rochele
rochele
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Congratulations!!! Though I don't think they totally get it, I do think they get more than most - they had a party to celebrate? That is really cool!
When my whatever-year anniversary comes up, I tell my family and dad says "congratulations, I'm really proud of you" and stepmom says "wow, I really thought it had been longer" but in a nice way...as in "it's been a loooong time since you worried us to death over whether you were going to live or die".
I think you handled it all wonderfully, and as far as the SIL and BIL, what I do is just keep doing MY thing, setting an example of what life without alcohol/drugs can be like and let them be unless they ask for life (yeah, I've got A's in my family, too).
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
When my whatever-year anniversary comes up, I tell my family and dad says "congratulations, I'm really proud of you" and stepmom says "wow, I really thought it had been longer" but in a nice way...as in "it's been a loooong time since you worried us to death over whether you were going to live or die".
I think you handled it all wonderfully, and as far as the SIL and BIL, what I do is just keep doing MY thing, setting an example of what life without alcohol/drugs can be like and let them be unless they ask for life (yeah, I've got A's in my family, too).
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
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