One week, one milestone...
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Southeastern MA
Posts: 149
One week, one milestone...
It was one week ago that my bf broke down and confessed to all the lies, some that I suspected, and opened up in a way that he has never in our two years together. It was then that I realized all the things I had been sweeping under the run and categorizing as a "problem" was in fact an addiction.
Now, one week later, while catching up on some tv shows we've recorded, out of the blue we had a conversation about what's going on, his upcoming doctor appointments, and I told him I was proud of his progress. As I've done all week, I've been dropping just a little more of what my boundaries are now, letting him know what I've learned thus far, and then I asked about what went through his head when he did something (such as take some of my pain meds that I save for when I really really need it for my back - rear ended in a car accident for those who don't know). I wanted to hear it from him. He said that in the moment when he's experiencing the pain, nothing else matters to him but making it go away. But then after, when he's feeling better, the guilt comes flooding in and he feels absolutely horrible about what he's done.
What surprised me is he has done his own research and brought up on his phone all the websites he's been reading this past week and asked ME about suboxone and outpatient treatment facilities. I told him I didn't know enough about it but that he should talk to his doctor who treats him for his ADD what's been going on and he could recommend a place or doctor who specializes in addiction, that way, he could have a team of doctors working together.
I reminded him that I cannot be in a relationship if this sort of thing happens again and that I was proud of him for taking the steps he has. He understood that was a fair statement and accepted that. And that's where we're at, one week later.
Now, one week later, while catching up on some tv shows we've recorded, out of the blue we had a conversation about what's going on, his upcoming doctor appointments, and I told him I was proud of his progress. As I've done all week, I've been dropping just a little more of what my boundaries are now, letting him know what I've learned thus far, and then I asked about what went through his head when he did something (such as take some of my pain meds that I save for when I really really need it for my back - rear ended in a car accident for those who don't know). I wanted to hear it from him. He said that in the moment when he's experiencing the pain, nothing else matters to him but making it go away. But then after, when he's feeling better, the guilt comes flooding in and he feels absolutely horrible about what he's done.
What surprised me is he has done his own research and brought up on his phone all the websites he's been reading this past week and asked ME about suboxone and outpatient treatment facilities. I told him I didn't know enough about it but that he should talk to his doctor who treats him for his ADD what's been going on and he could recommend a place or doctor who specializes in addiction, that way, he could have a team of doctors working together.
I reminded him that I cannot be in a relationship if this sort of thing happens again and that I was proud of him for taking the steps he has. He understood that was a fair statement and accepted that. And that's where we're at, one week later.
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 445
Originally Posted by HopefulGF65 
and then I asked about what went through his head when he did something (such as take some of my pain meds that I save for when I really really need it for my back - rear ended in a car accident for those who don't know). I wanted to hear it from him. He said that in the moment when he's experiencing the pain, nothing else matters to him but making it go away. But then after, when he's feeling better, the guilt comes flooding in and he feels absolutely horrible about what he's done.
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This could go right on the thread that Krystal started; about the emotions addicts feel when they make bad choices led by their addiction.
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