JustAverage

My friend who got out of detox called me. I could tell she was drinking. She denied it but I pressed her and she admitted she had a drink. I can assure you she had more than one. When I started getting on her case she said she would call me back. I have not heard back from her. With this latest news of Whitney Houston's death (probably from drugs but I shouldn't assume), I fear for my friend's life. I would be so lonely if she lost her battle with this disease. On the other hand, I feel bit relieved she hasn't called. I just can't deal with it right now. She's either really happy and drunk, or straight and complaining that I'm bringing her down. Am I wrong for just not contacting her? And I wrong for staying away?

jessiec

Do whatever will give you a better sense of peace.

langkah

This kind of thing is part of the cost of being close to an alcoholic. The almost certainty that it will end badly and will go badly until then.

There's no right or wrong answer if you should contact her or not. Her life is wrong, not any actions you might take or not take. Those don't have any effect.

You're just someone who is willing to watch a trainwreck. Most people would find it too difficult for them and would have to turn away at some point.

'You knew the job was dangerous when you took it.'

vujade

And as was mentioned above, there is no right or wrong answer. But you have to ask yourself what you are willing to know once you make that call. I used to tell myself that just knowing that he was alive would set my heart at ease, but then I'd make that call and either he wouldn't answer or he'd answer slurring and that would throw me into a state of panic. I eventually realized that not knowing was easier for me. Not EASY...but easier.

Just remember that you contacting her or not won't save her life. Only she can do that. It's such an incredibly hard thing to accept. We hope that if we tell them how much we value their lives, they will also see the value in it and choose life. Alcoholics just aren't wired that way, I'm afraid. So sad.

JustAverage

Thanks for the feedback everyone. I have NOT called her. There is so much stress right now in my life her disease only make it that much worse. I did call her brother twice to ask how she was doing but have not heard back. Maybe he will let me know. I'll just leave it alone from now on.