You All Were Right!
You All Were Right!
So, for those who don't know, me and my RABF of 6.5 years broke up in December. However, before we broke up, he wrecked my car and owed me a large sum of money, which he planned to pay me back at the end of January. Last Friday he came by my house to give me the money and talk, which was hard because I for some reason still love him! Anyhow, he was only able to pay me back half because his ATM had a limit. I was fine with that, but I told him I didn't see any reason in us having a face-to-face meeting again and he could just mail it.
Well a week went by and I still never received the money. I kept asking him about it and he kept having valid excuses. Then on Thursday when I asked when he was planning to drop of the money, he told me he relapsed. After just 4 months of soberity...and maybe not even that.
So, you all were so right! The break up makes so much more sense now...he didn't break up with me to "work on himself", he broke up with me so he could do whatever he wanted...which clearly was drugs! Though at first I was aggravated he kept blowing me off about the money, now I am glad because I know the truth. Others in my shoes may feel more hurt by this because he chose drugs over me, but personally it makes me feel better because it clearly shows how addicted he really is...and that he DEFINITELY needs to take this journey to recovery alone.
I am not going to lie, the last few months have been the hardest in my life. In three months, I lost my Grandfather, the person who I thought was my "soulmate", and all my future plans. I think for these reasons is why I am still struggling with detaching....but hopefully knowing this makes it even easier. Luckily though, I am starting therapy next Wednesday, which I have never looked more forward to in my life!
Well a week went by and I still never received the money. I kept asking him about it and he kept having valid excuses. Then on Thursday when I asked when he was planning to drop of the money, he told me he relapsed. After just 4 months of soberity...and maybe not even that.
So, you all were so right! The break up makes so much more sense now...he didn't break up with me to "work on himself", he broke up with me so he could do whatever he wanted...which clearly was drugs! Though at first I was aggravated he kept blowing me off about the money, now I am glad because I know the truth. Others in my shoes may feel more hurt by this because he chose drugs over me, but personally it makes me feel better because it clearly shows how addicted he really is...and that he DEFINITELY needs to take this journey to recovery alone.
I am not going to lie, the last few months have been the hardest in my life. In three months, I lost my Grandfather, the person who I thought was my "soulmate", and all my future plans. I think for these reasons is why I am still struggling with detaching....but hopefully knowing this makes it even easier. Luckily though, I am starting therapy next Wednesday, which I have never looked more forward to in my life!
(((Brit))) - I've always been one who has wanted a bit of validation that what I'm thinking, or my gut says, is right. Usually I get it it - sometimes my thoughts are wrong but my gut is pretty darned good.
You've been through a rough few months, but you are doing GREAT! Really glad you're starting therapy and continue reading/posting here.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
You've been through a rough few months, but you are doing GREAT! Really glad you're starting therapy and continue reading/posting here.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
When I first started reading this forum, I thought there would be a lot more "wow you guys were right" posts. Even though I think the advice given here 90% of the time MERITS these kinds of posts, people need to find the truth in their own time even if its handed to them right away.
I've been in a similar situation. Lost the person I thought I was going to marry, lost my grandmother, lost my apartment, etc. I'm so sorry you had to go through this but it sounds like your head is in the ideal place. the best thing about feeling like your slate is wiped clean is that your life, your future, and your plans can be exactly what you want them to be. Don't let your past define you, sailing with be smoother now that you've cut away the dead weight. Dont second guess yourself!
Just a word of encouragement.
I've been in a similar situation. Lost the person I thought I was going to marry, lost my grandmother, lost my apartment, etc. I'm so sorry you had to go through this but it sounds like your head is in the ideal place. the best thing about feeling like your slate is wiped clean is that your life, your future, and your plans can be exactly what you want them to be. Don't let your past define you, sailing with be smoother now that you've cut away the dead weight. Dont second guess yourself!
Just a word of encouragement.
Don't let your past define you, sailing with be smoother now that you've cut away the dead weight. Dont second guess yourself!
(I want to snuggle up with that dog!)
brit1413,
Please come back and tell us how you are doing. This is wonderful news (well, not the loss of money) but breaking away from him, and getting the message that this is his recovery to deal with, not you.
*****!
Beth
Thank you for your kind words Impurrfect, cc88, and wicked!! I apprecitate it SO very much! Without members like you and these forums, I think I would have been so much more lost.
Don't let your past define you, sailing with be smoother now that you've cut away the dead weight. Dont second guess yourself!
And I especially love this quote from cc88! Thanks again =)
Don't let your past define you, sailing with be smoother now that you've cut away the dead weight. Dont second guess yourself!
And I especially love this quote from cc88! Thanks again =)
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