luckyelbows

Hello all, this is my first post, hope it makes sense...

I attend AA (no sponsor or step work yet) and see a therapist but some of the comments/experience on this forum has been really insightful so I thought I'd give it a try!

I've been sober for 10 months and I feel like I've hit a brick wall.

I guess I expected life to more full when I stopped drinking - and it definitely is in some ways. I'm not disabled by sickness and insanity for one! But my life is still pretty limited.

My routine is going to work, coming home, going to a meeting or watching TV and going to bed. I feel like all I do is go to work and do recovery - so not much left for anything else. I beat myself up about this because the whole point of getting sober was to get my life back!

It’s like I've been given the keys to a shiny new life but I've forgotten how to drive, or where to go. I think that maybe I'm actually not capable of doing much else but I don't know if thats the illness talking or an accurate perception!

I suppose what I am asking is for other members' experiences of trying to broaden out their horizons from home-work-AA? Or am I expecting too much from early recovery, and home-work-AA should be my aim right now?

Any thoughts and experience gladly accepted.

sugarbear1

I ran in and out of AA for 25 years. Going to meetings helped, but it wasn't enough. I ended up drinking off and on for all those years, half my life.

This time in AA, I obtained a sponsor and have been guided through the steps 3 times. I do what has been suggested by talking to people and working the steps into my life.

I strongly suggest finding a sponsor and working the steps. Otherwise, it's like being given a prescription for antibiotics, but not taking them as prescribed. Those pills sitting there aren't helping the infection.

The steps are the solution to living the life you are seeking. You've stuck it out for 10 months so far, why not actually work the program?? Meeting makers make a lot of meetings, taking the steps will lead you to a wonderful new life that is awesome.

I wish you well!

wheresthefun

Welcome luckyelbows.

I'm sure folks will be along with some suggestions, but what I'll say is - what are YOUR interests? I'm not being facetious, but you obviously have access to the internet, do some searching. If you have few or no interests presently, try something new, if you find you don't enjoy it, try something else, and just keep searching. Now, if you can't find interest/joy in anything, I'd suggest it's time to see a therapist.

Anna

I knew that balance was going to be crucial to me in my recovery and it still is.

I have to do small things I enjoy, such as taking a walk, reading a book, playing with my pets. If you're unsure what to do, you could try volunteering in your community. Getting outside your head and giving back, can really help.

mattparadise

I was in this situation for a while. Leaving AA was the healthiest decision I could have ever made for my sobriety. I freed up time to live life and get involved. I started ultimate Frisbee, LAN parties, meetup gatherings. Try the site meetup.com. It has groups with similar interests.

sissy07

Thanks for this post - good description of the rut that I am in now, at 6 months sober. I look forward to reading the responses. I thought about posting this the other day, but I would just sound like a broken record - I have posted before about it, and the answers were great; I just didn't put them into action. Maybe I will get tired of wasting time at some point.

langkah

If your life is good enough for you and you don't care to improve it then don't bother with the program of recovery you hear referred to often in meetings.

If not, then do.

Sapling

I'm guessing you...Like the OP....Didn't get a sponsor or work the program either....You don't get this stuff by osmosis...It requires a little willingness, a little effort...And now the hard part......Getting completely honest with yourself...If you can handle that...You never have to drink again. And you can enjoy living...instead of fighting it.

Dee74

I think it does take time to learn to drive that shiny new life luckyelbows...

I was used to things just happening to me as a drinker...I was still expecting, for a long time, that a good life would just somehow happen to me too....I didn't really appreciate the fact my life is what I make it....

You'll find a lot of support and encouragement here - welcome

D

Healthyfood

luckyelbows

Congratulations on 10 months! I thought after 3-5 months life is back. But after reading your post, obviously its not as you wanted it to be.

This makes me think now again... what if I don't have fireworks after 10 months?

least

welcome. you'll find a lot of support here. lots of good information too.

Justfor1

I don't want my "old life" back. I was never happy even before I developed a alcohol problem. I want a new life for sure though.

Dee74

my post applies to you too HF
Life, and recovery, is what you make it, y'know?

don't worry about 10 months - there's nothing you can do about next December yet - stick with today

D

Healthyfood

Dee74

Im glad I found this post... I was hoping to be happy within 3-5 months but after this post Im extending my estimated time to 12 months.

I know recovery is what you make it...

mikel60

Hi Lucky (and all),

It was right around 10 months sober that I started to get a bit restless and looking for more. I didn't leave AA, but I did broaden my horizons a bit.

First thing I did was go back to school, which led to a Bachelors degree, then a masters, now working on my doctorate. After a bit, 2 years or so, I started dating. As luck would have it I met a nice woman in AA, got married, and now have two kids!

I also started playing baseball again, helped start a school, coached some basketball, became active in union causes, and wrote occasionally for local papers.

Now I struggle to find time to do all I want/need. Through all of this I've stayed close to AA. That's my particular path and as you can see it has worked quite well. God has been good to me.

Best of luck and stay the course. Meetup is cool, but it won't keep you sober.

Mike

OCDDan

I'm so with the whole thought behind this thread, I spent years figuring out what to do for work, now that i've had that figured out for a while, at 54, i better pick up the pace on sober fun! it's good to hear you guys/gals.

artsoul

I like all the suggestions here! Another thing that I'm learning in sobriety is that my attitude is more important than my circumstances. If you can find something positive in the present moment, it changes your entire experience.
Just going to work feels like the same-old-same-old, but we can just as easily decide to make someone else feel good about themselves that day, or chose to learn something new. Stuff like that.....

I don't do it as often as I should either, but it can almost become a game... just looking for the beauty/love that's around me.

luckyelbows

Thanks to everyone who posted - really nice welcome!

I especially like the words above...

Thinking about it - stuff DID just happen to me when I was drinking (good stuff and bad stuff) its like booze was my fuel for a long time and now I have to shift to a different power source - honestly if I look at myself I see that I'm the only one holding me back.

Anyway - the posts insipred me and I've spent the morning looking up martial arts classes (this is something I used to really love but of course it got in the way of my drinking so it fell by the wayside). Life IS what we make it!