chiyo

Day 2 (again). I can't even begin to count how many day 2's I've had since I decided to quit drinking a few years ago. last night I had a dream, I'm not going to get into the many details of this dream but there was a car trunk full of liquor involved. I woke up in a panic and searched the entire house for a bottle of something, anything. No such luck. I called my baby brother because he was always good at bringing me what I want, turns out that hubby talked to him last night and warned him not to bring me anything. I said some things to my brother which weren't very nice and now I feel terrible. Tried calling him to apologize but he won't answer, now I want to drink even more. I am do sick and tired of causing all these problems around me, it never ends, I'm always going in a circle. I am mentally and physically spent. I wish I wasn't house bound, I need to find somewhere to go and something to do.

Bikeguy

and how would drinking fix any of those problems?

chiyo

I could probably come up with a lot of reasons as to how drinking would make things better. I know that those are just excuses and in the end everything would turn out even worse.

instant

You sound very ambivalent about giving up. There are things you can do to try to resolve this (SMART, AVRT, or working on Step 1)

Healthyfood

chiyo

Day 2 well done. Its normal to feel like you can't handle anything without a drink.
If you have one, you will be on day 0 again. Is it worth it?

Dee74

Hi Chiyo

I'm pretty much housebound too, some days more than others, due to physical factors.
I used to drink the days away - that nearly killed me.

Now I have a rich and full life and I barely have enough hours in the day.

There are other positive and life affirming ways to meet the various challenges life throws up - with a little effort and some imagination you canl find your way like I did

I'm glad you're back

D

2granddaughters

Chiyo, you don't have to ride the garbage truck all the way to the dump... you can get off any time.
You have the number (1234), if I can help let me know.

Bob

neferkamichael

I cant count how many 2 days I had when I decided to quit 20 years ago. Today though I am 1 year 7 months sober!

Impurrfect

(((chiyo))) - Though alcohol wasn't my thing (crack was) I had many 2 days and even months then went back out. All I did was dig myself into a deeper hole that I'm still trying to get out of.

Early recovery is hard, but it is soooo worth sticking with. I only wish it hadn't taken me so long to get here.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

neferkamichael

Duh sorry. I am 1 year 9 months sober today