Suffocating

I heard this song on the radio on my way home from school today. It made me think of my mother and I cried. I was tempted to email it to her because it's exactly how I feel, but I refrained since I have been "no contact" with her due to the fact that she hurts me so much even though she's 3,000 miles away.

Because Of You
by Kelly Clarkson

I will not make
The same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
'Cause my heart so much misery

I will not break
The way you did, you fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt

Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you, I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes

I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh, every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt

Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you, I am afraid

I watched you die, I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young, you should have known
Better than to lean on me

You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt

Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in

Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you, I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you

Willybluedog

That is a tough song to listen to, very appropriate to our circumstances though.

Awhile back there was a post on songs that "struck a nerve" with us, someone may remember when it was, but it was interesting to see everyones favorites.

Big hugs,

Bill