I can't beat addiction
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 20
I can't beat addiction
I simply can't resist the urge to use pills. I am risking everything, everytime I use, my mom cries every night BC of it. I have the sweetest best gf in the world and if she finds out she will leave. Sometimes, like right now I wish I could close my eyes and nowake up. I hate everything about me. All I do is cause pain. Some people God just took their cravings away yet I beg and beg and I still crave do bad. I truly feel like dying..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 20
I attend 3-4 na meetings a week. and dee, I know that we can never truly do enough for God BC let's face it, he sacrificed his son so that if we to believe can have eternal life. I'm a good person deep down and I try to do things right. What else can I do? I go to church, I tithe, I try to read the Bible although not enough. I'm just at my 3rd rock bottom, and I wish God would just take me. I hurt the ones that love me the most and if I am going to continue to hurt them I truly don't want to be here.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,355
I hope I'm not stepping on anyone's religious views but I'm a great believer in God working through us. I believe God can move mountains - but he often hands us the shovel.
I know you've been working hard, & I'm not disparaging you but if you're still using, wouldn't you agree you need to do more?
If what you're doing isn't enough, what else can you do, terminated?
get a sponsor and do the steps?
go to rehab?
try other recovery methods in conjunction with NA?
counselling?
discuss things with a Dr?
D
I know you've been working hard, & I'm not disparaging you but if you're still using, wouldn't you agree you need to do more?
If what you're doing isn't enough, what else can you do, terminated?
get a sponsor and do the steps?
go to rehab?
try other recovery methods in conjunction with NA?
counselling?
discuss things with a Dr?
D
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,460
I think praying is good and going to meetings could be helpful, but maybe you need to take more action. Where are you getting the pills? If they're from a dr, then tell the dr what's going on and stop the prescription. If you're getting them on the street, take the phone # off your phone. Don't hang out in the same places, or with the same people. A regular exercise program really helped me, too. Don't give up. You are worth fighting for. 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 20
I failed outpatient rehab. I can't do impatient or I lose everything. The number is not even in my phone I know it by heart. I am doing everything I can. And I tell myself no everyday but the devil gets in my head and I run with it. I'm trapped.
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 609
I'm a Christian too but for me, there was no sudden awakening and the addiction was taken away, I've no doubt it does happen, but for me it was more a process of the obsession gradually fading through treatment.
Many Christians do have addiction issues and I think that many feel very bad and guilty about it. And it can end up just compiling the problem. God doesn't want to beat us down, the God of my understanding is loving, supportive and wise. He knows our strengths and weaknesses already, before we do, and has already forgiven them. We just have to be willing to work with him. I had quite a few relapses before I got on track, but God never gives up on us and we shouldn't give up on ourselves.
Many Christians do have addiction issues and I think that many feel very bad and guilty about it. And it can end up just compiling the problem. God doesn't want to beat us down, the God of my understanding is loving, supportive and wise. He knows our strengths and weaknesses already, before we do, and has already forgiven them. We just have to be willing to work with him. I had quite a few relapses before I got on track, but God never gives up on us and we shouldn't give up on ourselves.
NAIOU
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Last house on the block.
Posts: 359
Getting clean is a time thing. You have to get some time behind you away from the pills. The longer you stay away from the pills the easier it will get for you. I wish you all the luck in dealing with this problem. Living life can be hard sometimes. Find someone you can trust and spill you guts out to them. Someone who can understand you. Time is on my side yes it is. Its all your choice get clean or take some more pills it will be a never ending road. There are a lot of people here at SR that can and will help you if you decide to stop using. No one can do anything for you while you are using. Make a right choice. Hope to see you back here at SR. Good luck on your journey. Love and Respect. Logo
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wyandotte, MI
Posts: 71
Terminated, addiction is painful, there is alot of suffering, the addicted and the one's who love the addicted. We addicts beat the hell out of ourselves, for a long time. Did that ever do you any good?? Probably not, not in my case. So switch it up and start to nurture yourself, you said you are a good person, I totally believe that is true. Try and love yourself unconditionally, because you are still a good person, using or not using. When you fall off, it is just that a relapse. Be kind to yourself, it might build some inner strength to stay clean for longer periods of time. Do not ever give up on yourself. Keep on Keeping on. xoxo
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Terminated)))- I'm sorry you're struggling. I, too, prayed a lot. I didn't do anything because I didn't want to lose everything.
Well, I ended up losing a nursing career, the trust of people who loved me, my freedom a few times, my home, and practically every material thing I owned. Almost lost my life, a few times, living on the streets to get crack.
It took all of that to where I was even willing to think about recovery. I prayed, over and over "please help me be willing to be willing to not want crack". While locked up in a diversion center, I was forced to get a job. I went from being an RN to waiting tables, but I grew to love it.
You don't have to go as far down as some of us have, but if what you're doing isn't working, there are other things. I think you admitting you need a sponsor is a good first step - it's hard to TAKE the steps but the alternative is continue spiraling down.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Well, I ended up losing a nursing career, the trust of people who loved me, my freedom a few times, my home, and practically every material thing I owned. Almost lost my life, a few times, living on the streets to get crack.
It took all of that to where I was even willing to think about recovery. I prayed, over and over "please help me be willing to be willing to not want crack". While locked up in a diversion center, I was forced to get a job. I went from being an RN to waiting tables, but I grew to love it.
You don't have to go as far down as some of us have, but if what you're doing isn't working, there are other things. I think you admitting you need a sponsor is a good first step - it's hard to TAKE the steps but the alternative is continue spiraling down.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: prince george bc
Posts: 2
My son is 20 and when he drinks too much he blacks out-Once he drank windshield washer fluid and if i had not realized that he was sleeping more than usual-he would
not be here.Visiting him in intensive care when he was on dialysis he just said he wanted to die.He is still struggling;but still has fight left in him.I hope and pray for you to be strong.
not be here.Visiting him in intensive care when he was on dialysis he just said he wanted to die.He is still struggling;but still has fight left in him.I hope and pray for you to be strong.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 1,130
It's a process, of course, beating addiction. We do need to give it effort and concentration and we have to be open, willing and honest. That I think was what God asked from us in the first place. 12 step programmes help us to reconnect with God and in particular, to let go of our old ideas about him and let him into our lives in a new and deeper way. I will pray for you.
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