all i can do is try.
Crazy Cat Lady
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
all i can do is try.
I'm embarassed but i'm back. I no longer have alcohol in the house. My husband knows and i am amazed that i'm still married. I am gonna feel like crud for a few days but whatever. My heart wants sobriety so much. All i can do is try again.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
DPGrits,
welcome back. I don't know many alcoholics that got it right the first few times. Are you using a program or plan of any kind? You might take a look at the AVRT thread in the secular connections.
For me, the deciding I truly wanted to quit drinking was the hardest part. I think most people trying to quit drinking have this. I know I mostly wanted to quit having consequences but hoped I could still drink from time to time. Well, I can't. For me it has to be total abstinence. Once I made that commitment, it's not been a struggle.
Keep coming to SR, keep reading, keep posting. I'm glad you're here.
Love from Lenina
welcome back. I don't know many alcoholics that got it right the first few times. Are you using a program or plan of any kind? You might take a look at the AVRT thread in the secular connections.
For me, the deciding I truly wanted to quit drinking was the hardest part. I think most people trying to quit drinking have this. I know I mostly wanted to quit having consequences but hoped I could still drink from time to time. Well, I can't. For me it has to be total abstinence. Once I made that commitment, it's not been a struggle.
Keep coming to SR, keep reading, keep posting. I'm glad you're here.
Love from Lenina
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: New York
Posts: 54
I'm in the exact same place you are. This morning I didn't know if I ended my marriage by drinking last night. As it is, I have caused HUGE poroblems for myself- We have been working on moving to another state, and now my DH says he can't trust me, and doesn't know how we will be able to. Hugs, and just know you aren't alone. Do you feel like sharing more about what happend,and how your husband is handeling it?
Crazy Cat Lady
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
My husband is a trooper. I guess i did something wonderful in a past life. He's determined to stick itbout with me. I feel so cruddy right now. Got the shakes, nausea and all that other fun stuff.
Crazy Cat Lady
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
Thank you all so much for your support. I was embarassed to come back but now so glad i did. Right now i am sobering and resting up. The next couple of days are gonna be rough but i really can't wait to be stone cold sober. I never drink to be happy and realizing that has been quite the eye opener.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,308
Welcome back Displacedgrits,
I was talking with a non alcoholic friend yesterday,trying to explain what addiction was like, and likened it to things like the beast,the devil to get the point across of how powerful it is.
I also pointed out that when I have overcome the battle I do have a sense of europhia.
It is not easy,the important thing is that you are willing to keep trying.
What is your plan to stay sober this time around?
All the best
CaiHong
I was talking with a non alcoholic friend yesterday,trying to explain what addiction was like, and likened it to things like the beast,the devil to get the point across of how powerful it is.
I also pointed out that when I have overcome the battle I do have a sense of europhia.
It is not easy,the important thing is that you are willing to keep trying.
What is your plan to stay sober this time around?
All the best
CaiHong
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
Thank goodness you're ok. My husband sat on the fence very precariously towards the end.. to stay, to go.. He stayed. I got recovered, and my life got beautiful. I hope that for you.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,537
DisplacedGRITS - There's no reason to be embarassed, you're among friends, people who really understand & get what you're going through. As Lenina said, not many of us get it right the first time. I know I didn't - but after my last binge, something was different. 
I now have 4 yrs. after poisoning myself for almost 30.
We know you can do this, DG - you have motivation and determination. Let's give it another shot - you never have to go back to that miserable place.
I now have 4 yrs. after poisoning myself for almost 30.We know you can do this, DG - you have motivation and determination. Let's give it another shot - you never have to go back to that miserable place.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,635
I am glad you are back DisplacedGrits.
Keeping busy is important, but are you also going to do something to work on your recovery? Not necessarily AA, but a therapist? I am finding that I cannot do it alone.
Keeping busy is important, but are you also going to do something to work on your recovery? Not necessarily AA, but a therapist? I am finding that I cannot do it alone.
Crazy Cat Lady
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
Lol, Orbea! I am seeing a therapist, Elisabeth. She's really helped me. My biggest problem right now is coming clean to her. I've been kicked out of rehab in the past for relapsing and i'm terrified of getting the boot again.
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