hope2be

Well I finally did it. Put my house up for sale and have a buyer.

I'm scared and excited at the same time. I guess this is normal. My adult children are aware and seem to be taking it in stride. I have my moments when I start worrying about what's going to happen to them, but I quickly turn off the "future scenarios" and focus on what my next step will be. This is so, so different than what I am used to, but I'm into survival also!

I had an appt with a therapist (3 free visits via employee assistance) and she stated that I am very aware of what I need to do, but I need to let go of my old controlling love to do this. Everytime I would mention the fear of "what's going to happen to them", she would calmly state "they are all adults and they are capable of figuring it out".

I now realize the reason I never gave them the opportunity to face their own consequences was because it was painful for ME to see them in pain. I also realize that the pain of staying in this situation is much worse than selling my house and moving on.

I would love to hear from some of you who have done this. I know it's all going to work out eventually. I still have many lessons to be learned and I hope my journey lights the way for others .. as they have for me,

Huggs,
Hope

Ann

There comes a time in recovery when we move from being the victim to being a survivor, when we stop living in the problem and start living in the solution. You are there, my dear, and there will be new beginnings and better days ahead...just you wait and see.

Thank you for sharing this.

Hugs

hope2be

Thanks Ann:

I needed encouragement today, because as it gets closer, I feel like a bear is breathing down my neck when I look around at all that needs packing, etc. But then, I stop, take a deep breath and know I will have more energy when it's called for.
Yesterday, I had to get out of my house because I was beginning to get depressed.

Just the change of scenery and visiting a friend changed my outlook. When I came back home, I started sinking again. It really cements the idea that in order for me to recover, I need to let go of this place and set my adult children free. I can't seem to do it and stay in this house...too many memories that haunt me right now.

Huggs,
Hope