seek

Back in my day, the female got full custody and the dad had visitation, usually every-other week (unless the mom was "unfit").

My oldest daughter went to stay with her dad every-other weekend from the time she was a toddler until she was a teen and could decide for herself. Unfortunately, I was oblivious and did not know that her dad was drinking when she was with him.

She tells me stories now that are unbelievable, but the good news is that she survived and turned out to be an amazing woman. I know she has scars from those times (and also my ignorance about a lot of things - I was a pretty crappy mom) . . .but the note I wish to share is that there must be a god or higher power that watches over us and watches over our children because there are a lot of nutty and/or disturbed or dysfunctional people out there and there are a lot of good people who come out of such circumstances. I don't pretend to know the dynamics - but I was just thinking of all of the times my daughter was probably in danger by her dad (maybe drunk driving or whatever) and yet she is the most responsible, wonderful person . . .

I am not advocating "not caring" when your child is with their alcoholic dad and in this day and age there are things you can do to prevent putting your kids in dangerous positions - and you should do everything you can to protect your children, but also know that there is a higher power watching over them (don't ask me about the times when bad things do happen because I don't understand how that works) . . .

lillamy

Thank you for that, Seek.