Input & Recommendations Needed
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Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 2,968
Input & Recommendations Needed
In my heart I feel I know what to do but feel so confused how to handle this particular situation regarding my AD son.
He is currently serving a sentence in jail, he is 26 and has been in and out of the system for over 10 years now.
He had a forensic evaluation done last year around this time and it was determined at that time he was bi-polar. He was given medication along with a sentence in jail and has been receiving the medication and appears to have stabilized with clear thinking.
I understand that he is in a controlled environment and this helps him to maintain behaviour that was at one time was incomprehensible.
We have gone through the no contact, contact with conditions, you name it we have done it.
However, this past friday a detective for the robbery unit had called me to be interviewed about him. I'm afraid I was very defensive as this is and has nothing to do with myself or my husband. I asked what is this about, he stated robbery..I said what is it you want from me..he stated that he needed to know if my son lived with us at a particular time frame and wanted to meet me at his office or at our home. I was silent as the last time our son was out was for approx. 30 days in Feb. last year. I asked him his name again..the address of his office..which district..and a reception number where I could verify who he was. He stated they didnt have a reception number in the office..this was his desk phone..I asked again..well where could I phone to verifiy if he was in fact a detective..he gave me the number for the city police.. I haven't called them yet. He said he was in again on Monday and would I call him to say how I would like to meet.
Well Monday is almost here and I just want to tell this person I am non compliant to meet at any time. My husband had a meeting with them in the summer and was there for over 3 hours on camera answering their questions. He asked me not to go as he had given them all the necessary answers at that time..he had to ask them to finalize the meeting as he is a heart patient and diabetic and he was feeling quite ill .
My feelings on this is that it is very invasive as they work for the Crown Prosecutors and may be trying to manipulate me somehow..I do suffer from anxiety attacks and this has sent me into a tail spin over the weekend.
Any input would be appreciated..I am usually fairly level headed but this time I feel that I am being set up..
Thanks
lauren
He is currently serving a sentence in jail, he is 26 and has been in and out of the system for over 10 years now.
He had a forensic evaluation done last year around this time and it was determined at that time he was bi-polar. He was given medication along with a sentence in jail and has been receiving the medication and appears to have stabilized with clear thinking.
I understand that he is in a controlled environment and this helps him to maintain behaviour that was at one time was incomprehensible.
We have gone through the no contact, contact with conditions, you name it we have done it.
However, this past friday a detective for the robbery unit had called me to be interviewed about him. I'm afraid I was very defensive as this is and has nothing to do with myself or my husband. I asked what is this about, he stated robbery..I said what is it you want from me..he stated that he needed to know if my son lived with us at a particular time frame and wanted to meet me at his office or at our home. I was silent as the last time our son was out was for approx. 30 days in Feb. last year. I asked him his name again..the address of his office..which district..and a reception number where I could verify who he was. He stated they didnt have a reception number in the office..this was his desk phone..I asked again..well where could I phone to verifiy if he was in fact a detective..he gave me the number for the city police.. I haven't called them yet. He said he was in again on Monday and would I call him to say how I would like to meet.
Well Monday is almost here and I just want to tell this person I am non compliant to meet at any time. My husband had a meeting with them in the summer and was there for over 3 hours on camera answering their questions. He asked me not to go as he had given them all the necessary answers at that time..he had to ask them to finalize the meeting as he is a heart patient and diabetic and he was feeling quite ill .
My feelings on this is that it is very invasive as they work for the Crown Prosecutors and may be trying to manipulate me somehow..I do suffer from anxiety attacks and this has sent me into a tail spin over the weekend.
Any input would be appreciated..I am usually fairly level headed but this time I feel that I am being set up..
Thanks
lauren
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 445
What an unsettling situation…. But try not to let them intimidate you.
I’m finding it strange that they kept your husband for questioning for such a long period of time to begin with; especially if it was just to verify facts like where your son was living. Did your husband give them lots of details? Don’t repeat them here; but you should know what he info he provided them if possible. Probably they have found some discrepancies that don’t match up, and now they want to question you. Your statement can then be used to confirm or throw doubt on what your husband said… or your son. Its still at the detective level but if its been going on since summer, then they might be getting close to taking it to the crown prosecutors for review, or maybe they did and now they are being ask to supply more evidence.
Regardless, they can’t really force you to be questioned unless they get a subpoena; but if they want to – they will.
I would suggest that you contact a local barrister/ lawyer in your area and ask for input. Giving them more specifics regarding your situation and that of your son, maybe they can find out in more detail the scope of the investigation before you go in. They could also accompany you and at least make sure your medical needs are not ignored while you are being questioned. But remember if you go in voluntarily, then you can also leave voluntarily. To bring you back against your will, they would have to get a subpoena.
I’m finding it strange that they kept your husband for questioning for such a long period of time to begin with; especially if it was just to verify facts like where your son was living. Did your husband give them lots of details? Don’t repeat them here; but you should know what he info he provided them if possible. Probably they have found some discrepancies that don’t match up, and now they want to question you. Your statement can then be used to confirm or throw doubt on what your husband said… or your son. Its still at the detective level but if its been going on since summer, then they might be getting close to taking it to the crown prosecutors for review, or maybe they did and now they are being ask to supply more evidence.
Regardless, they can’t really force you to be questioned unless they get a subpoena; but if they want to – they will.
I would suggest that you contact a local barrister/ lawyer in your area and ask for input. Giving them more specifics regarding your situation and that of your son, maybe they can find out in more detail the scope of the investigation before you go in. They could also accompany you and at least make sure your medical needs are not ignored while you are being questioned. But remember if you go in voluntarily, then you can also leave voluntarily. To bring you back against your will, they would have to get a subpoena.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 951
It sounds like you will need to seek legal advice to determine what is required of you.
From an ethical perspective, I am not of the opinion that you are obligated to assist with an investigation of a crime that you know nothing about, for the purposes of helping implicate your own child. But it may work out in the other direction - your assistance could help vindicate him if he was not involved.
Prayers for you, your husband and son. I know from experience that dealing with legal concerns on top of everything else is incredibly stressful.
Please don't forget to breathe and remember that you didn't cause this and cannot control it.
From an ethical perspective, I am not of the opinion that you are obligated to assist with an investigation of a crime that you know nothing about, for the purposes of helping implicate your own child. But it may work out in the other direction - your assistance could help vindicate him if he was not involved.
Prayers for you, your husband and son. I know from experience that dealing with legal concerns on top of everything else is incredibly stressful.
Please don't forget to breathe and remember that you didn't cause this and cannot control it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Lauren
I have no advice for you because I'm not an attorney. But I want to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I understand from my own personal experience how upsetting and unsettling it can be to have to talk to the police about matters that you would never have to deal with under normal circumstances.
gentle hugs
ke
I have no advice for you because I'm not an attorney. But I want to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I understand from my own personal experience how upsetting and unsettling it can be to have to talk to the police about matters that you would never have to deal with under normal circumstances.
gentle hugs
ke
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
I am unable to grasp the detective's motive or the need to interview/film your husband for 3 hours. I would likely seek legal counsel before proceeding further.
Please let us know how this turns out.
Please let us know how this turns out.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 5
I'm no expert by any means but I listen to my gut. Under the circumstances and the fact that they've already done an extensive interview with you husband and this "detective" is being rather evasive about your questions, I would have to agree with the others. You should definately seek legal advice even is it's nothing more than an hour consultation.
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