defyinggravity

Hey all, I'm back (again)! I've been relapsing left and right for awhile, but am finally getting some sober time...6 days, to be exact. Here's the thing - and I'd really love some input on this from you guys, especially if there are any New Orleanians out there who might've had to deal with this - Mardi Gras is coming up very soon. In fact, the first parade was last night (I did not go - if you're going to pick out the drunkest parade, Krewe du Vieux would probably be it...it's sin on a stick and great fun!). I'm already experiencing a TON of anxiety about this because, if you've ever been here during Mardi Gras, you know what I mean when I say it's almost inescapable...you can't just pretend it's not happening. All of my friends will be going to parades and drinking heavily. I'm going to be...not doing any of that. I've decided it's best to just avoid the whole thing all together and not go out - I feel like it's too early and way too tempting. Any suggestions on how to deal with the social aspect of this, though? How to discreetly beg off of parades and parties? And more than that, how to deal with the anxiety and feelings of social isolation that are going on and will likely increase as the big day approaches? I'm thinking I may just need to leave town.

I like my school and there are some fun things to do in New Orleans, but damn this can be a hard city in which to stay sober (and I have every intention of moving when I graduate).

loudog430

I believe, because it is obviously very early in your sobriety, that you should avoid it at all costs. While I believe in facing your fears upfront, there is way too much pressure coming in every direction during an event like that. Perhaps if you can get out of town for that weekend, it may be for the best. Next year, after an entire year and after tackling other tests (just hanging out at a beer with friends and drinking soda) you can attempt placing yourself in that situation and handling the pressure. If you fall for it again next year, you now know you cannot go back.

recoverywfaith

Have you tried going to AA, for supportive non-drinking friends? That helped me when I first sobered up.

loudog430

I have been telling myself to go, but I am nervous about what the experience will be like....I wonder if the OP has the same feelings?

neferkamichael

I'm just up the road from ya, 1 year 6 months sober and I wouldn't be able to get anywhere near Naw'lins. You can enjoy it anyway, but ya do have your work cut out fightin temptations and urges. Congratulations on your sober time.

nvrbeentospain

Wow, that is a particularly hard situation to be in, but I think you're right about avoiding it. As for what to say to your friends, I don't know -- how much do you feel comfortable telling them? If they're good friends, they should understand. For the acquaintance types, you could just say you don't feel well and leave it there because it's none of their business. Sometimes this not drinking thing can cause us to lose a few likeability points with people, which is probably totally OK and reflective of their issues rather than ours.

Going to AA meetings might not be a bad idea, either, because the people there will be going through the same thing. If you think about it, there are lots of folks in New Orleans not drinking right now (recovering alcoholics, mormons, baptists, muslims, people on various medications, buddhists and all those people who just don't like drinking that much), so you're really not alone even if you feel like you are.

ElegantlyWasted

I like the AA idea even if you're not really into it. It's a least a way to hang out with sober people during Mardi Gras and keep you head on straight. I'm sure NO has lots of meeting. What do you think?

defyinggravity

I've been to AA in the past - after awhile, I ultimately decided it wasn't really the path I wanted to take. But it might be a good short-term solution (and who knows, I could decide it's for me this time) just to have some sober support during this time. There's actually a really nice women's meeting about 4 blocks from my house. The more I think about it, though, the more I think it's an excellent time to take a vacation and go home to visit family the weekend before through the big day itself.

aasharon90

Well....Hello Louisiana SR Buddies....

Sharon here in Baton Rouge.

I very well know about Mardi Gras
down here in the south. And New Orleans
is beautiful with all its decorations and
floats and comraderie of fellow partiers.

I went as a child many moons ago and
stood outide the barriers to get close to
those huge floats to get as many beads
as I could, even running after them Yelling
"Throw Me Something Mister..!!! "

Of course as I got older I went to Pat O' Brians
to get my fill of hurricanes to only get sick and
throw them up.

I entered recovery in 1990 and dont miss the
drinking part of Mardi Gras any longer nor the
crowds. I do enjoy the feeling in the air of what
Mardi Gras stands for down here. Its a part of
my heritage, my soul, spirit....that i dont think
I will ever lose for as long as I live.

All I can do, even for myself as 21 yrs sober,
is to take care of me and do whatever i need
to do to stay sober. Since my recovery means
more than you know, I will go that extra mile
to stay sober.

Mardi Gras will always be and alcohol will always
be. Beads, Parties, clubs, all that's a part of our
history will always be, however i can enjoy it
in different happier healthier ways more so now
than i did when i was drunk, sick, and miserable.

There are parades here in Baton Rouge but I
chose not to go. Id rather go out for a nice
walk around a park or go out for a nice meal,
or hop on a bike and ride enjoying the nice
weather and fresh air.

OCDDan

maybe you could hide in a movie theater

defyinggravity

Fortunately, I live uptown and always do my parading on St. Charles which means that it's not QUITE as wild as things are downtown/in the quarter. I've found uptown tends to be a little more family oriented (even though most of the parents are drunk...) and not the boob-flashing (which, in 4 years, I've never actually seen happen) debauchery most people think of when they think Mardi Gras.

However, I think I've decided it's a good time to take a trip to visit family back home. I haven't really taken a vacation since July and we're off for most of that week anyway (it's nearly impossible for some people to actually get to work on Lundi and Mardi Gras) so it's a really good time. I think it'll save me a lot of anxiety. I still have to get through the next 2 weeks worth of parades, though.

Threshold

The best plan is always one that we can carry out and live with. Sounds like you've come up with a win/win plan for yourself to navigate this particular challenge . THAT is awesome sober thinking!