soberbrah

i just want to drink god damn it

comes down to sobriety vs. loneliness

I see people drinking on TV, people looking like theyre having a blast drinking with each other in pics on facebook and it just makes me sad as ***

I am so freaking bored

I cant remember the last time I actually had fun or even enjoyed myself a little

Dee74

I see people having fun drinking all the time.

But they're not me.
I don't have fun drinking.

I really believe our lives are what we make it.

I used to sit in front of the TV and drink - when I got sober, I sat in front of the TV sober and it didn't cut it.

I'm not putting you down, but if life is boring and no fun, what have you done to try and make it less boring and more fun, soberbrah?

D

Hevyn

Hi soberbrah. I was at that stage many times. Try to remember your reason for quitting - the terrible depression & anxiety you were suffering from. Drinking won't give you any relief from it. I hope you'll decide not to cave.

soberbrah

well im 22, any of the contacts that I actually do have go to bars on the weekend

soberbrah

your right
the anxiety and depression is the reason, but this loneliness is right up there with that

soberbrah

your right
the anxiety and depression is the reason, but this loneliness is right up there with that

Dee74

Yeah, all my friends drank too - so I made new ones and reconnected with old ones.

I won't lie, it's a lot more work that just opening a bottle...I had to make a lot of changes to my life, and I don't like change, even good change - but I really wanted to stay sober.

I'm really glad I put the work in

D

logicalparadox

Yeah, it's been hellishly isolating to try to stop..I can't imagine how much harder it would have been if I hadn't moved from where I used to work in promotions (out all the time + my social anxiety) or even let alone the last place given the crowd i was with.

My anxiety makes it hard for me to go ANYWHERE sober, but I have to learn. A lot of the people I surrounded myself where I currently am, well they drink/use and I can't be around it, and I realized they were impossibly far away from being friends. I'm still in the reeling over a lot stage, and I feel awkward as anything. I'm 28 and still 9/10 all I did with my "friends" was go out. I am starting to realize that's far away from what made me happy ever, but yeah...isolating.

Finmywayback

Soberbrah, Maybe it is time to find new contacts and do other things.Ask someone out to the movies, or dinner, join a bowling team, take a class, ....

This sober living requires us to learn how to socialize in a different way then we used to.

If we can't live active in our addiction then we need to learn how to be active with out it.

Healthyfood

soberbrah

Im glad you are here not at the supermarket checkout area.

People on my TV shows have quit as well as me. Everyone on my TV is sober like pets.
How come? I just don't watch that kind of shows anymore.

Your urge is very severe. Just wait a little longer till it goes away. Focus on a long term happiness not a short time pleasure.

MustStop

Its a new void, we all have to find a replacement to fill that void. I am in the same boat, still living life the same as the way I was that had been formed with a steady diet of alcohol. After the "cleansing" stage I will have to find something new, that fits my new lifestyle.

Back before drinking excessively I snowboarded almost everyday in the winter, rode dirt bikes, mountain biked, wrote for car magazines and had a myriad of small business ventures going on. I hope to get the flame back for those things, or something totally new in the coming weeks.

Hang in there, you aren't alone in this

Impurrfect

(((Soberbrah))) - a lot of people think that quitting whatever our DOC is is the hard part. It wasn't, IMO..it was dealing with life AFTER I quit and not picking back up that was really hard.

I isolated for a long time...not so much because I didn't know anyone who wasn't smoking crack (my DOC), but more because I just didn't know, was afraid, whatever of reaching out.

I got back in school and though it's online, I've made more friends this semester than I have in years! I know you're young, you don't want to wait years, but I think when we become open to the fact that not everyone does what we did, people appear.

I've read several posts, here, recently of people in their late teens, early 20's struggling with the same thing. My niece is 18, LOVES to party (is my step-niece, but every single relative of hers has addiction in their genes back to great-grandparents) but her bf? He MAY drink one drink or a beer when he goes out, but that's it. He just turned 22. Even my niece has seriously cut back to the occasional drink because he doesn't like her when she is drunk.

My point it, I guess, not everyone your age is into the drinking and partying. I worked with a slew of young kids who were more focused on school, bettering themselves, work, whatever and though they had fun, getting trashed just wasnt a part of it.

You already know drinking isn't going to fix a thing but make you feel worse after you're done. Being lonely, restless, frustrated, angry - those are feelings most of us numbed out for a long time. Feelings, good or bad, don't last forever but I've found the longer I'm clean, the rarer the bad feelings come and when they do? They don't last long.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

IndaMiricale

When I was 22 every one drank then also so I thought it was great. Only I drank everyday since while they all grew up and moved on, had families and lived life. I just stayed a teenager mentally, and now 40 just being sober for the first time. I missed all that because I thought that was life. The party.

You are catching yourself early. Get active in something , you are doing something wonderful be seeing you could have a problem already.

Keep coming back

mattparadise

Yeah, that sucks. I do see this a lot in movies.

augustwest

feeling sorry for yourself ain't gonna accomplish squat. you said a couple weeks ago you were going to AA. that's a great place to be social and meet people. get plugged in. I bet there are people your age in the rooms in your area having fun and I bet they would love to get to know you. you, and you alone are responsible for your happiness. you just have to try something different than sitting around moping. you can do it!

artsoul

It takes time (and some effort) to find new interests and develop friendships that aren't based on drinking. The worst thing you can do is to sit around thinking about how miserable you are. I've found that I'm happiest when I'm involved in something and not thinking about my happiness at all.

Things that have also been helpful to me: making a mental list of everything I'm grateful for today, and thinking about making someone else happy.

Do you have any dreams or goals for the future? What about working towards them? Don't give in to alcohol, because that will just erase everything else. There's really not a whole lot of "fun" in being a practicing alcoholic.

Stay strong!

Luckyv2

Isolation, Boredom, And Loneliness in Sobriety is very difficult to deal with, even after months of remaining sober. I guess that is why people suggest going to meetings and things. I used to go a lot until I couldn't physically or money wise get there all the time. Now I just sit at home and watch the 4 walls. LOL

I get depressed a lot too cause I don't have anyone in my life, except my Dog Chance. I would be more nuts without him, or even the Internet.

Things will get better for you in time. It does take a lot of effort on our part though making sure we make the right decisions on who we hang with too. There are a lot of sick people in the Programs of Recovery as well. Just because people are in Recovery doesn't always mean that they are good people either. Just my own experience there.

soberbrah

yea I have many goals and Im making a ton of progress towards them, but doing nothing else

nothin socially, and i have a tough time staying focused and motivated when I have nothing going on socially