TheOjibway84

So my brother who isn't an alcoholic is seeing a girl and they been doing great. Except for one issue.... this girl he's seeing is the ex girlfriend of a major over the top alcoholic. This guy just won't quit bothering her and my brother. It's been on going for the past 2 weeks they declared they were girlfriend and boyfriend. This drunk guy even called my brother and demanded to know why he was seeing his girlfriend secretly and to leave her alone and not call her again. So thinking she wasn't truthful he said it was over. Ended up being , the guy hasn't even been her boyfriend for over awhile now. They have tried to do friendship and so far this guy seems to not get the concept that it's over between her and himself. It's stressing my brother out alot because he's even gone to the point where he has my brother's phone cell number and has been calling numerous times with insults messages and threats. And I think it was today and this guy called him again and left a message demanding to know why my brother is still seeing this girl after he claims to have told my brother to stay away from his girlfriend and my brother has several times told this guy to lay off and the drunk guy won't stop calling him or my brothers "now" girlfriend. He's gone over the edge where he even befriended this girl and her mother and invites him over on occasion and the last time he was stupid drunk and got violent and threw his vodka bottle at this girl and her mother and police were called when he was kicked out of the house but kept ringing the door bell to be let in.

So my parents want my brother not to be involved with this girl seeing this guy has my brothers phone number and keeps calling. I guess the best thing to do is either break up with her or call police and file for harrassment and get a restraining order, he suggested the restraining order but my parents shook their heads no at the idea. Whats your input? my brother had me listen to this guy's voice message to my brother and he WAS soooooo drunk its not funny. Worse then I was but I still don't compare and say I wasn't that bad because in the end I was drinking almost everyday too. I just want input because it's my brothers choice what to do just was curious.

suki44883

What a bunch of crap. How did this guy get your brother's phone number? Could she have given it to him? Why is she still friends with such a lunatic? The whole thing sounds like something out of Jerry Springer.

If I was your brother, I'd end things with the girl, block both her and the nutcase on the phone and go on with my life. Who needs that kind of BS?

Justfor1

It sounds as if your brothers girlfriend is playing a bigger part in this than you realize. It also sounds like this situation is getting progressively worse. Best for your brother to move on.

Willybluedog

I would still get the R.O., this guy may not go away no matter what your brother does.

I agree with eveyone else, I think this girl is enjoying the drama, she would have to go no contact and file for her own R.O. if I was going to keep seeing her.

Jadmack25

Phew, I get a whiff of dead fish here. I fear mum and dad have the right idea about your brother's GF and the baggage she is bringing into your lives.

Hope he can sort it either by walking away from the situation or if necessary getting police or legal help to get the XBF off his case.

catlovermi

People who have "entitlement" and "ownership" issues toward another person, and who exhibit stalking and harassing behaviors (particularly toward a THIRD party), who are tone deaf when told to GO AWAY, are NOT NORMAL and can be UNPREDICTABLY DANGEROUS.

And that's for the sober ones.

Add drunk, and who knows what this guy is capable of doing to anyone "in his way."

CLMI

tjp613

Yep, I agree with the others. If I were your brother, I'd run for the hills. This guy is a loose cannon of the worst kind. Save all voicemail messages and texts and definitely file a police report when he breaks the law with his threats.

fourmaggie

not my issue....and not taking my brothers inventory...

let him deal with his own life...i would be just supportive abit...but even that, up to a point..

my 2 cents...

sorry i hate choas..

Freedom1990

I stay out of my brother's business. He was married to the worst pothead addict I have ever seen for 20 long years.

It hurt my heart to see him settling for that, but she is the mother of his son, and he felt obligated. It was NOT my business to suggest what he should do.

Finally after their son turned 18 and started college, he divorced her.

Now he just proposed to a wonderful gal he's been dating for a year, and she's the polar opposite of his ex.

He finally found out he does deserve more and discovered it with his new love. That happened on his timeline, not mine.

My side of the street is the only thing I have control over.

TheOjibway84

Well I didn't choose to get involved. my brother and I are very close since we're both blood brothers biologically we are very close in which alot of people who know who have brothers and sisters plain hate them lol. He wanted my input himself and I wasn't aware of the fact till he poured it out to me so in return to come here I asked for input from you. Not advice on what I should do and if I'm not suppose to get in his business why are you telling me to tell him to leave her? Thats none of my business so I'm a bit confused on your posts.

Anyhoo. Just as before... you all take in what I type and hear the part of the story I know from him. How can you assume she's playing a part in this? You don't know her nor do I. She tried to be friends with him and he's very sick in the head and I forgot to mention SHE IS getting a restraining order also the sick guy LOOKED into her phone without her knowledge and got my brothers cell number.

So you're right in a sense, he is considering whether to leave her and make sure that extra baggage doesn't come along with her. But anyways thats all I wanted was input, thanks no need to update any further since it's not my situation nor has he asked me what he should do just letting me know what the scoop is because I'm his older brother.

tjp613

I'm confused by your post, too-- what did you expect in the way of "input"?

Freedom1990

You can count me in as another confused poster.

choublak

I think this girlfriend is enjoying having her ego fueled as two men "fight" over her. Not only does the ex have your brother's number, the girlfriend never bothered changing her number right after breaking up with the ex.

TheOjibway84

Freedom1990 haven't we had this conflict before? 2 words then "Bugger Off." I'm not posting anything anymore if your all going to play stupid and say I'm confusing you. what is there not to get? I apologized once before and I'm not this time. I'm upset. YES. and i accept it. nothing useful to say? DONT say anything anymore. your really ticking me off. I NEVER get angry alot but when you all team up on MY THREAD i think its RUDE. SO DONT post if you haven't an apology.

choublak

I imagine his being very sick in the head is the reason she broke up with him. She already knew he has dangerous issues and yet she still tried to be friends with him. Why? Just something to think about.

TheOjibway84

lol i dont know why or care. maybe it's like every other alcoholic. shes trying to be friends since she couldnt date a guy who was abusive when too drunk. it's still all not the story. you and anyone else still don't know whats going on here nor am I but I just dont jump to conclusions oh that she's in on this. I met her and shes a very nice girl. Who would want to date a guy like that? And to be honest. In my past I was starting to get into this girl at work and vice versa. But things got out of hand when I drank in front of her. At the start she didn't care because we were having fun. But then when I was binge drinking for a week straight "partying" it up with my old drinking friend when the parents were away and I had the house to myself to drink, I'd invite her over and I'd pissed drunk by the time she got there, drink all day then party all night and I'd be way too drunk. I even tried to talk her into having sex and I would never do that in a sober state. I asked her to see her thong under her pants and tried to pull her pants down and she left in anger. She never spoke to me again and even texted me a message saying "Chris you were a great guy until you started drinking too much in front of me and then you were a different guy saying really rude comments to me so I can't see you anymore yet alone date you, I just can't date someone who drinks too much." that was the last time I even heard from her. To this day she doesn't know Ive been working on staying sober and my current girlfriend whom still getting to know me as time goes on doesn't know my drinking issue yet but until I feel the time is right I'll let her know because I don't ever want her to see that ugly side of me like the other girl did.

Point is that is what I mean by sick in the head. He drinks too much to get drunk then randomly calls my brother leaving ******** messages because he hasn't gotten over the fact that they aren't dating anymore but in his twisted mind from all the drinking and lost time from drinking he still believes they are dating! It's nuts! Anyhoo. Well see what happens it's up to my brother and not me on what he does about this. my father is a retired police officer after all so he knows the law and will keep an eye on things if they get worse but so far the past week my brother hasn't gotten any random calls.... I guess also the fact that my brother ripped him a new one on the cellphone when this guy called him while very drunk and my brother gave him a piece of his mind in which a drunk never listens and also gets very angry if he hears something he doesn't like, yeesh.

goodnight I'm going to sleep now. I'll probably be cooled off by tomorrow but still would appreciate comments that arent meant to keep this boiling in my brain.

seek

Is everyone involved a teenager?

tjp613

WAY uncalled for. WAY.

Chino

I'm confused too, and I'm not playing, either.

It reads like you want input on what your brother should do, but then you say you don't, including everything else that has been offered. What do you want us to say?

Ghostly

Agreed. I do not understand the mentality of someone that asks for input in a FORUM, where people post their thoughts, and then the OP insults those they don't agree with.

Ojibway - When you start a Thread,it is just that, you are starting a Thread. It is not your Thread. It is a Thread you started in a public forum where people are free then to post their opinions and thoughts (as long as they follow rules like respect).

Anyway...you are clearly not getting the full story from your brother. The girl having a relationship with this other guy is weird. Something else is going on here. That is apparent to everyone that reads the Thread you started. You wanted input, and this is what input is. You don't have to follow it, no one is asking you to do anything.

You would be better off to simmer down. Or stop starting Threads. Either way, chill out and stop insulting people.