I Made it to 90 days!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Vashon WA
Posts: 1,035
I Made it to 90 days!
90 DAYS
I'm Gaffo and I don't mind saying that I am an alcoholic. 3 months ago I quit drinking on my own. Within the first week I found and joined SR. It has been instrumental in my on going mission of recovery. I'm not sure I could have done it without you. I have been inspired by all the stories that I have read here. I try not to just be a lurker and share thoughts and experiences but it's not easy. I feel really new to this. I am humbled by my alcohol and thankful for this website. Since you helped me get past ninety days I want to share my experience with it in the Newcomers section. Maybe it will help someone like you've all helped me.
I'm 46 and I drank at least 70,000 beers before I quit drinking on Halloween, 2011. I now realize that I was actually continuously drunk for long periods of time for over 25 years. Morning, noon and/or night, that was just how I rolled. I enjoyed most of it. I didn't wreck cars, get DUIs, throw up, fight, miss work or lose friends over it. I did get hangovers. I would soldier through them feeling poisoned but putting on my game face for just about anything. I also got black outs. As a normal drinker you would think that a black out might be a serious warning sign but I got them once in a while for my entire drinking career. My blacked out drunk self was evidently benign and didn't get me into that much trouble. That's just what happens to me when I get drunk enough. That's not to say it isn't disturbing to not remember chunks of time. I also spent tons of good money on bad beer when I was a struggling artist and even more later. It's really been a cash vampire in my entire adult life. All these would be good reasons to think about my alcohol consumption and I did, a little bit over the years, but not enough to quit.
What triggered me to seriously want to quit drinking was my two super smart kids. They are at the age where they notice everything and I didn't want them to grow up seeing me with a beer in my hand all the time, thinking that it was normal. I wanted to be the best person that I could be for them. I had quit before a couple of times for 30 days but that was just to prove that I could. I hated every white knuckled moment and when the month was up I jumped back in with both fists. This time I was putting no horizon on it. I tell people who ask that I'm going for at least a year but my plan is to go for the rest of my long and productive life. When I quit for 30 days it felt like I was serving jail time. This feels like I'm getting released from prison.
90 days is by far the longest I've been without consuming any alcohol in 30 years. I hear I'm supposed to be getting my sober brain back at this point. Thankfully, I did not experience any dangerous physical withdrawal symptoms in the early days. I had brutal cravings in the first 3 weeks. I fought through them and stayed sober one day at a time. Thinking about drinking/not drinking is still all consuming at times. It makes me feel like I am going crazy. It's like my brain is reprogramming itself. Thankfully, it ebbs and flows. Also, the discomfort has dissipated a bunch. It has truly gotten better with the passage of sober days. Keeping this in mind I have no desire to have any more drinks. I sometimes have dreams that I have taken a drink. They can be realistic enough that I am relieved to wake up sober. I am actually excited by sobriety. It's hard to believe.
I quit to improve my life and I saw results right away. Of course I immediately stopped having hangovers and black outs. I stopped waking up feeling sensations of dread. I sleep better. I started eating breakfast again. I got to reconstruct my calorie intake in a positive way. I cook for my family so I never got too far off the beaten path but I do notice a positive difference cooking and shopping sober. People tell me I look better. I was trying to stay fit before I stopped drinking but I guess my workouts are better without a hangover. I haven't really lost any weight, I just feel much better than I used to. I'm in a better mood than I was, it makes it much easier to deal with my life, to enjoy it more than I was.
Some unexpected and/or cool things have happened to me since I stopped drinking. Nobody cares that I quit. It's no secret and I do talk about it with friends and family but no one makes me uncomfortable asking about it. I don't go to bars but I didn't before since I quit smoking cigs 17 years ago. The situations where I think it's going to be hard are usually easier than I expect. Cravings and bad ideas come out of nowhere but I'm good at dismissing them now. I eat more candy. My kids love it. I drink lots of coffee. I always liked a good cup or three a day but now I like it even better. The feeling of a caffein buzz on top of a hangover just isn't that great. Since I'm always daisy fresh these days I can really enjoy up to six cups a day and I still sleep fine. I never even thought about life without hundreds of beer bottles a week to deal with. It's great. It has inspired me to keep a much cleaner and better organized life. That helps me to keep a better state of mind. I guess that really describes it there--a better state of mind.
I was blessed to find peace with the idea of never drinking again. It is possible to live without alcohol. It really does get easier.
Gaffo
I'm Gaffo and I don't mind saying that I am an alcoholic. 3 months ago I quit drinking on my own. Within the first week I found and joined SR. It has been instrumental in my on going mission of recovery. I'm not sure I could have done it without you. I have been inspired by all the stories that I have read here. I try not to just be a lurker and share thoughts and experiences but it's not easy. I feel really new to this. I am humbled by my alcohol and thankful for this website. Since you helped me get past ninety days I want to share my experience with it in the Newcomers section. Maybe it will help someone like you've all helped me.
I'm 46 and I drank at least 70,000 beers before I quit drinking on Halloween, 2011. I now realize that I was actually continuously drunk for long periods of time for over 25 years. Morning, noon and/or night, that was just how I rolled. I enjoyed most of it. I didn't wreck cars, get DUIs, throw up, fight, miss work or lose friends over it. I did get hangovers. I would soldier through them feeling poisoned but putting on my game face for just about anything. I also got black outs. As a normal drinker you would think that a black out might be a serious warning sign but I got them once in a while for my entire drinking career. My blacked out drunk self was evidently benign and didn't get me into that much trouble. That's just what happens to me when I get drunk enough. That's not to say it isn't disturbing to not remember chunks of time. I also spent tons of good money on bad beer when I was a struggling artist and even more later. It's really been a cash vampire in my entire adult life. All these would be good reasons to think about my alcohol consumption and I did, a little bit over the years, but not enough to quit.
What triggered me to seriously want to quit drinking was my two super smart kids. They are at the age where they notice everything and I didn't want them to grow up seeing me with a beer in my hand all the time, thinking that it was normal. I wanted to be the best person that I could be for them. I had quit before a couple of times for 30 days but that was just to prove that I could. I hated every white knuckled moment and when the month was up I jumped back in with both fists. This time I was putting no horizon on it. I tell people who ask that I'm going for at least a year but my plan is to go for the rest of my long and productive life. When I quit for 30 days it felt like I was serving jail time. This feels like I'm getting released from prison.
90 days is by far the longest I've been without consuming any alcohol in 30 years. I hear I'm supposed to be getting my sober brain back at this point. Thankfully, I did not experience any dangerous physical withdrawal symptoms in the early days. I had brutal cravings in the first 3 weeks. I fought through them and stayed sober one day at a time. Thinking about drinking/not drinking is still all consuming at times. It makes me feel like I am going crazy. It's like my brain is reprogramming itself. Thankfully, it ebbs and flows. Also, the discomfort has dissipated a bunch. It has truly gotten better with the passage of sober days. Keeping this in mind I have no desire to have any more drinks. I sometimes have dreams that I have taken a drink. They can be realistic enough that I am relieved to wake up sober. I am actually excited by sobriety. It's hard to believe.
I quit to improve my life and I saw results right away. Of course I immediately stopped having hangovers and black outs. I stopped waking up feeling sensations of dread. I sleep better. I started eating breakfast again. I got to reconstruct my calorie intake in a positive way. I cook for my family so I never got too far off the beaten path but I do notice a positive difference cooking and shopping sober. People tell me I look better. I was trying to stay fit before I stopped drinking but I guess my workouts are better without a hangover. I haven't really lost any weight, I just feel much better than I used to. I'm in a better mood than I was, it makes it much easier to deal with my life, to enjoy it more than I was.
Some unexpected and/or cool things have happened to me since I stopped drinking. Nobody cares that I quit. It's no secret and I do talk about it with friends and family but no one makes me uncomfortable asking about it. I don't go to bars but I didn't before since I quit smoking cigs 17 years ago. The situations where I think it's going to be hard are usually easier than I expect. Cravings and bad ideas come out of nowhere but I'm good at dismissing them now. I eat more candy. My kids love it. I drink lots of coffee. I always liked a good cup or three a day but now I like it even better. The feeling of a caffein buzz on top of a hangover just isn't that great. Since I'm always daisy fresh these days I can really enjoy up to six cups a day and I still sleep fine. I never even thought about life without hundreds of beer bottles a week to deal with. It's great. It has inspired me to keep a much cleaner and better organized life. That helps me to keep a better state of mind. I guess that really describes it there--a better state of mind.
I was blessed to find peace with the idea of never drinking again. It is possible to live without alcohol. It really does get easier.
Gaffo
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 29
Gaffo!! Ya!! 90 days, congrats to you (saying that hardly seems adequate?!) 
It is really awesome though and reading your post was good. Thank you for sharing your experiences. Be proud of yourself but dobt if I need say that?!! :rotfxko
I am on Day 5. It's the first time I have tried to give up the demon. Woke up feeling happy!!
It is really awesome though and reading your post was good. Thank you for sharing your experiences. Be proud of yourself but dobt if I need say that?!! :rotfxkoI am on Day 5. It's the first time I have tried to give up the demon. Woke up feeling happy!!
lillyknitting
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Loughton, Essex, England
Posts: 638
Thank you so much for your post, it was absolutely awesome. I got so much recognition. Yes it is absolutely fantastic to wake up without wanting to die, I used to lie there for half hour at a time feeling utterly dreadful, omg the hangovers were like near death. Yet, I still drank again and again. I'm about four months now but still have those thoughts you mentioned and I guess there has to be an element of willpower. My most dangerous problem is staying out of the bars and pubs as all my friends are drinkers - yes, you are rights no one gives a damn if I drink or not, they are only interested in themselves. I actually find pubs and bars extremely boring now I don't drink. Loads of identification there, thanks and keep posting.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,247
Gaffo...excellent post. Thank you for sharing. It gives motivation to folks like myself. It is truly an accomplishment. I want to reach 90 days as well. When I do you will be around 180 days and feeling even better than you do now.
Jim
Jim
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Mandatory reading for newcomers...there is hope!
Originally Posted by gaffo 
I try not to just be a lurker and share thoughts and experiences but it's not easy.
I was inspired by your post. It reminded me how miraculous reaching my 90-day mark was for me. I truly thought I would never quit drinking. Now, at almost 17 months sober, I sometimes lose sight of the gift of recovery. Thanks for bringing it back into focus for me.
Continued peace and blessings,
--Carl
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