How Do YOU Have Faith in God After What Has Happened?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: west coast
Posts: 1,068
How Do YOU Have Faith in God After What Has Happened?
Some people are blessed with strong blind faith. I am not one of them. Never have had strong faith. But I do believe in God - just can't justify all of my life being directed by God . . .
I have lost trust in the alcoholics, and have lost trust in God. I don't believe God "did this to me" or them, but I don't feel cared for . . . I feel that the pain I have been through has been so incredibly difficult (and not discounting that other people have it much worse).
Emotionally, and spiritually, I feel battered and broken.
I do "work" on my spirituality - prayer and meditation - but still I feel scared.
I have lost trust in the alcoholics, and have lost trust in God. I don't believe God "did this to me" or them, but I don't feel cared for . . . I feel that the pain I have been through has been so incredibly difficult (and not discounting that other people have it much worse).
Emotionally, and spiritually, I feel battered and broken.
I do "work" on my spirituality - prayer and meditation - but still I feel scared.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
Every little small thing that happens when not
expected is a miracle. Everyday sober is a miracle.
It's all those little things that make me believe
there is Something greater than I that has a hand
in my recovery and happiness. BELIEVE.
expected is a miracle. Everyday sober is a miracle.
It's all those little things that make me believe
there is Something greater than I that has a hand
in my recovery and happiness. BELIEVE.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Columbia MO
Posts: 1,127
Please read Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsh, it is a very different take on God and his love for us.
I felt as you did, and I still have my trials and tribulations where God is concerned, mainly along the lines of how can a loving God allow a Hitler come to power and how can he allow the murder of so many good people.
The book answers questions like this, I can tell you I was not happy with all the answers in the book, but I felt I had answers that made sense at a core level, and it is not a smiley, happy, have blind faith book.
It made a real difference in my life, I hope you will give it a read.
I felt as you did, and I still have my trials and tribulations where God is concerned, mainly along the lines of how can a loving God allow a Hitler come to power and how can he allow the murder of so many good people.
The book answers questions like this, I can tell you I was not happy with all the answers in the book, but I felt I had answers that made sense at a core level, and it is not a smiley, happy, have blind faith book.
It made a real difference in my life, I hope you will give it a read.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Memphis, TN
Posts: 2,884
I don't have faith in god. I am an atheist, a Buddhist, a Daoist and an ordained Dudeist priest 
. None of these requires belief in god.
I am very spiritual though and through meditation I have reconnected to a huge well of strength and wisdom that are a part of me and always have been, even when I have chosen not to use them.
My biggest barrier to serenity is my ego. Through meditation I have learned to accept the fact that there is more to me, much more, than just my ego and I am learning how to just be me, to live in the moment and to accept life as it is.
I am at a point where I can accept that everything that happened to me had to happen exactly the way it did, the good and the bad, the ups and the downs, for me to be where I am right now. I really think it was worth it.
So keep working your program because it does get better.
Your friend,
. None of these requires belief in god.I am very spiritual though and through meditation I have reconnected to a huge well of strength and wisdom that are a part of me and always have been, even when I have chosen not to use them.
My biggest barrier to serenity is my ego. Through meditation I have learned to accept the fact that there is more to me, much more, than just my ego and I am learning how to just be me, to live in the moment and to accept life as it is.
I am at a point where I can accept that everything that happened to me had to happen exactly the way it did, the good and the bad, the ups and the downs, for me to be where I am right now. I really think it was worth it.
So keep working your program because it does get better.
Your friend,
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
Me and the Lord, we have an understanding...
But it only came to be after I became a believer in the separation of Church and God.
After I left AXH, representatives of the church did their darndest to help continue AXH's abuse. To the point where I looked into getting a restraining order against the pastor. Because he kept telling me I needed psychiatric treatment and there was help for what I had -- you know, that thing that made me "walk out on your family just because you were unhappy with yourself"...
But God was in my life before any church was in my life. So I told God I didn't like the folks who claimed to speak for God. But that I needed God in my life.
And then we've had several talks about this free will thing. Where I've said, "don't you think maybe in some cases, it's a mistake? I mean, when people use their free will to make the wrong choices over and over and over?" To which God said, "yeah, like YOU've never done that..."
I guess the understanding we've come to is that God gave us free will, and when we use it, some times we do completely dumbass things. Which has consequences. Sometimes we suffer the consequences of our own bad choices, sometimes the consequences of others' bad choices.
But God doesn't interfere. And for every bad choice, we can whine and complain and feel victimized, or we can choose to learn something and maybe make a better choice next time. And it'll all work out in the end.
That's my little God-talk in a nutshell.
But it only came to be after I became a believer in the separation of Church and God.
After I left AXH, representatives of the church did their darndest to help continue AXH's abuse. To the point where I looked into getting a restraining order against the pastor. Because he kept telling me I needed psychiatric treatment and there was help for what I had -- you know, that thing that made me "walk out on your family just because you were unhappy with yourself"...
But God was in my life before any church was in my life. So I told God I didn't like the folks who claimed to speak for God. But that I needed God in my life.
And then we've had several talks about this free will thing. Where I've said, "don't you think maybe in some cases, it's a mistake? I mean, when people use their free will to make the wrong choices over and over and over?" To which God said, "yeah, like YOU've never done that..."
I guess the understanding we've come to is that God gave us free will, and when we use it, some times we do completely dumbass things. Which has consequences. Sometimes we suffer the consequences of our own bad choices, sometimes the consequences of others' bad choices.
But God doesn't interfere. And for every bad choice, we can whine and complain and feel victimized, or we can choose to learn something and maybe make a better choice next time. And it'll all work out in the end.
That's my little God-talk in a nutshell.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 36
Nowhere in the bible does it say anywhere that "God helps those that help themselves."
I just wanted to encourage you that the God of the Bible is a God who is an advocate for justice and hears the pleas of those who are suffering.
If you ever read the Bible, Psalm 23 is a beautiful reminder that we are not alone.
I just wanted to encourage you that the God of the Bible is a God who is an advocate for justice and hears the pleas of those who are suffering.
If you ever read the Bible, Psalm 23 is a beautiful reminder that we are not alone.
Life Health Prosperity
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Louisana
Posts: 6,752
Originally Posted by seek 
Some people are blessed with strong blind faith. I am not one of them. Never have had strong faith. But I do believe in God - just can't justify all of my life being directed by God . . .
I have lost trust in the alcoholics, and have lost trust in God. I don't believe God "did this to me" or them, but I don't feel cared for . . . I feel that the pain I have been through has been so incredibly difficult (and not discounting that other people have it much worse).
Emotionally, and spiritually, I feel battered and broken.
I do "work" on my spirituality - prayer and meditation - but still I feel scared.
I have lost trust in the alcoholics, and have lost trust in God. I don't believe God "did this to me" or them, but I don't feel cared for . . . I feel that the pain I have been through has been so incredibly difficult (and not discounting that other people have it much worse).
Emotionally, and spiritually, I feel battered and broken.
I do "work" on my spirituality - prayer and meditation - but still I feel scared.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Originally Posted by seek
Some people are blessed with strong blind faith. I am not one of them. Never have had strong faith. But I do believe in God - just can't justify all of my life being directed by God . . .
Here on SR we try to maintain that respect for everybody's uniqueness, but with 80 thousand members it can get a little "wild" sometimes
Originally Posted by seek
.... I feel that the pain I have been through has been so incredibly difficult ...Emotionally, and spiritually, I feel battered and broken.....
I also feel battered and broken. I have my own share of hardships, much like everybody else. I lost my marriage of 20 years to this disease. Along the way I lost some small businesses we had invested in during those 20 years. I managed to start over in a new town, made new friends, got a new career started, then the economy killed that and I ended up moving across the country.
I developed an ugly disease that is slowly damaging my internal organs. I had surgery to help with that and ended up with brain damage. I have a cyst growing in my brain from that fouled up surgery and found out a few months ago that now there is an aneurysm as well. I have developed a bad case of osteoporosis from the medications I take to fight all of the above, and I am losing my teeth.
Couple weeks ago the doc told me some of that damage to my insides has weakened my abdomen and now I have a large hernia that needs to be repaired. Some days I truly wonder if this body will make it to the night.
Yup, I feel battered and broken. Big time. Some days I feel way tired and just like you said, my faith gets very shaken and very weak.
Then I look around me and I see that life continues. I am living in this new town and they have some flocks of geese that refuse to fly south for the winter. In the morning on my way to work they circle around making all kinds of noise. The skies have been clear now and again and I can see the stars. The same stars I used to look at when I was a child runaway, sleeping with the dogs in a junkyard.
I go too meetings and I see people reaching out to each other, and here on SR I see hundreds of people every single day taking time out of their lives to help others who are in pain.
My HP has not given me what I want. I wanted a simple life, to grow old with my soulmate, enjoy the company of friends we had made over the decades, watch our kids grow up. Nope, that's not what I got.
Instead I got a different life. I have made a lot of new friends, thru SR and through meetings in the places the lousy economy has taken me. I have seen small, beautiful things like geese flying overhead, snow on the trees and dunes in the desert. I did get to see our daughter grow up and have a family of her own, a very happy, normal family with no dysfunction and very few hardships.
I have had the opportunity to continue to live in spite of my slowly decaying health. Although I am in physical pain every day I do manage to hold on to a job, a place to live, and socialize with people once in a while. I have been able to share my own "Experience, Strength and Hope" in small ways and see that others have found a bit hope in my words.
No, I did not get the life I wanted. Instead I have been able to make a difference in the lives of a few other people. I have lost a lot of very good things, but the fact is, I did have those good things to enjoy.
I have learned that nothing lasts forever. No matter how good. For me, the secret to happiness that I have learned from my HP thru all this "life" I have been through is that the secret is in the small things. No _thing_ lasts forever. The feelings, on the other hand, now those I can keep forever. The feelings of having been a good husband to a wonderful lady for many, many years. The feelings of having been a father to a young woman, a son to charming Irish mom.
Those feelings are the gifts my HP has given me. Still, the greatest gift of all is the deep, deep sense of humility from having witnessed thousands upon thousand of people who are themselves battered and broken reach out to give hope to perfect strangers they have never met, and never will meet, simply because it is the right thing to do.
I did not get what I wanted. What I did get is completely different. Even though I feel completely broken, I realize that just because I feel that way does not mean that I am. I can still enjoy watching the geese, the stars, the snow. I am learning how to want what I got.
Someday soon when "the fat lady sings" I will be able to look back across the vast arc of the heavens and realize that, on this single mark of time I was given, I got the best ride ever. Not the ride I wanted, not at all, but without a doubt a ride worth living.
seek, I am truly sorry you feel like I do. I know how hard it can be. Perhaps if you do what all the rest of us are doing, hold on for just one day. Do the steps, or see a therapist, or whatever form of recovery you choose, just for one day. Take a minute to look at all the beauty that is in the world in spite of all the hardships in the world.
Just for a minute. That's all it takes, hang on just for a minute. You will make it thru and find your strength again. There are 80 thousand people here on SR doing exactly that, and we are all surviving, overcoming, and learning how to enjoy life again. You can do it too, and watch us all cheer you on and encourage you while you do the same for us.
Mike
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
DesertEyes thank you so much for your post, it was very meaningful to me. I am sorry to hear about your health issues but am amazed as how you are taking them. Thank you for the reminder that we are more than our bodies.
seek, I am now in Thailand visiting my sister. This is a very spiritual place. Incense, flowers, tropical trees, colors and good luck charms are all around. It is important to visit beautiful places and seek to be surrounded by creative people, positive people, motivated people, either that or spending time alone. Keep your own energy.
Admiring nature is a way to get closer to HP, even if just by pictures... or pets, I stare at my cats often and am amazed as to how perfect they are, how elegant and smart. They live in the moment...
There are tools to get closer to a sense of peace such as mandalas, I also recommend the book "You are here" by Thich Nhat Hanh.
Ask for what you need and it will be given, even if you don't have much faith, I have tested this and it works. I ask for clarity on my path, for guides. And they come.
seek, I am now in Thailand visiting my sister. This is a very spiritual place. Incense, flowers, tropical trees, colors and good luck charms are all around. It is important to visit beautiful places and seek to be surrounded by creative people, positive people, motivated people, either that or spending time alone. Keep your own energy.
Admiring nature is a way to get closer to HP, even if just by pictures... or pets, I stare at my cats often and am amazed as to how perfect they are, how elegant and smart. They live in the moment...
There are tools to get closer to a sense of peace such as mandalas, I also recommend the book "You are here" by Thich Nhat Hanh.
Ask for what you need and it will be given, even if you don't have much faith, I have tested this and it works. I ask for clarity on my path, for guides. And they come.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: behind the viewfinder...
Posts: 6,278
I have no faith in the traditional sense, much less "blind faith." But I do believe there is something greater than me in control. I can choose to ignore that, or to remember it. And I do both at different times. When I am at my best though, I remember it by looking around me. There are examples everywhere, when I choose to look. A sunrise, a flower, a snow covered mountain, a tree, a bird singing, water flowing. I find it interesting that you used the term "blind faith," because to me, it is the exact opposite of blind. My eyes confirm that there is a greater power at work, whenever I choose to see. Interestingly enough, it's when I feel small in comparison to the vastness of nature and the universe that I feel most at peace. My troubles are but a ripple in the ocean of all things, but I am still an important ripple.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: west coast
Posts: 1,068
Originally Posted by DesertEyes
No worries, each person has their own unique understanding of their "Higher Power". That's why the 12 step programs use that "Higher Power" concept, so that we can all feel a sense of community even though we are all so different in that area.
Here on SR we try to maintain that respect for everybody's uniqueness, but with 80 thousand members it can get a little "wild" sometimes
Goodness, how could you not? Dealing with addiction is a nightmare, the damage that it does to everyone in it's path is a horror. That's one of the reasons there are 80 thousand people on just this one website, and there are thousands more websites dealing with the same issue.
I also feel battered and broken. I have my own share of hardships, much like everybody else. I lost my marriage of 20 years to this disease. Along the way I lost some small businesses we had invested in during those 20 years. I managed to start over in a new town, made new friends, got a new career started, then the economy killed that and I ended up moving across the country.
I developed an ugly disease that is slowly damaging my internal organs. I had surgery to help with that and ended up with brain damage. I have a cyst growing in my brain from that fouled up surgery and found out a few months ago that now there is an aneurysm as well. I have developed a bad case of osteoporosis from the medications I take to fight all of the above, and I am losing my teeth.
Couple weeks ago the doc told me some of that damage to my insides has weakened my abdomen and now I have a large hernia that needs to be repaired. Some days I truly wonder if this body will make it to the night.
Yup, I feel battered and broken. Big time. Some days I feel way tired and just like you said, my faith gets very shaken and very weak.
Then I look around me and I see that life continues. I am living in this new town and they have some flocks of geese that refuse to fly south for the winter. In the morning on my way to work they circle around making all kinds of noise. The skies have been clear now and again and I can see the stars. The same stars I used to look at when I was a child runaway, sleeping with the dogs in a junkyard.
I go too meetings and I see people reaching out to each other, and here on SR I see hundreds of people every single day taking time out of their lives to help others who are in pain.
My HP has not given me what I want. I wanted a simple life, to grow old with my soulmate, enjoy the company of friends we had made over the decades, watch our kids grow up. Nope, that's not what I got.
Instead I got a different life. I have made a lot of new friends, thru SR and through meetings in the places the lousy economy has taken me. I have seen small, beautiful things like geese flying overhead, snow on the trees and dunes in the desert. I did get to see our daughter grow up and have a family of her own, a very happy, normal family with no dysfunction and very few hardships.
I have had the opportunity to continue to live in spite of my slowly decaying health. Although I am in physical pain every day I do manage to hold on to a job, a place to live, and socialize with people once in a while. I have been able to share my own "Experience, Strength and Hope" in small ways and see that others have found a bit hope in my words.
No, I did not get the life I wanted. Instead I have been able to make a difference in the lives of a few other people. I have lost a lot of very good things, but the fact is, I did have those good things to enjoy.
I have learned that nothing lasts forever. No matter how good. For me, the secret to happiness that I have learned from my HP thru all this "life" I have been through is that the secret is in the small things. No _thing_ lasts forever. The feelings, on the other hand, now those I can keep forever. The feelings of having been a good husband to a wonderful lady for many, many years. The feelings of having been a father to a young woman, a son to charming Irish mom.
Those feelings are the gifts my HP has given me. Still, the greatest gift of all is the deep, deep sense of humility from having witnessed thousands upon thousand of people who are themselves battered and broken reach out to give hope to perfect strangers they have never met, and never will meet, simply because it is the right thing to do.
I did not get what I wanted. What I did get is completely different. Even though I feel completely broken, I realize that just because I feel that way does not mean that I am. I can still enjoy watching the geese, the stars, the snow. I am learning how to want what I got.
Someday soon when "the fat lady sings" I will be able to look back across the vast arc of the heavens and realize that, on this single mark of time I was given, I got the best ride ever. Not the ride I wanted, not at all, but without a doubt a ride worth living.
seek, I am truly sorry you feel like I do. I know how hard it can be. Perhaps if you do what all the rest of us are doing, hold on for just one day. Do the steps, or see a therapist, or whatever form of recovery you choose, just for one day. Take a minute to look at all the beauty that is in the world in spite of all the hardships in the world.
Just for a minute. That's all it takes, hang on just for a minute. You will make it thru and find your strength again. There are 80 thousand people here on SR doing exactly that, and we are all surviving, overcoming, and learning how to enjoy life again. You can do it too, and watch us all cheer you on and encourage you while you do the same for us.
Mike
Here on SR we try to maintain that respect for everybody's uniqueness, but with 80 thousand members it can get a little "wild" sometimes
Goodness, how could you not? Dealing with addiction is a nightmare, the damage that it does to everyone in it's path is a horror. That's one of the reasons there are 80 thousand people on just this one website, and there are thousands more websites dealing with the same issue.
I also feel battered and broken. I have my own share of hardships, much like everybody else. I lost my marriage of 20 years to this disease. Along the way I lost some small businesses we had invested in during those 20 years. I managed to start over in a new town, made new friends, got a new career started, then the economy killed that and I ended up moving across the country.
I developed an ugly disease that is slowly damaging my internal organs. I had surgery to help with that and ended up with brain damage. I have a cyst growing in my brain from that fouled up surgery and found out a few months ago that now there is an aneurysm as well. I have developed a bad case of osteoporosis from the medications I take to fight all of the above, and I am losing my teeth.
Couple weeks ago the doc told me some of that damage to my insides has weakened my abdomen and now I have a large hernia that needs to be repaired. Some days I truly wonder if this body will make it to the night.
Yup, I feel battered and broken. Big time. Some days I feel way tired and just like you said, my faith gets very shaken and very weak.
Then I look around me and I see that life continues. I am living in this new town and they have some flocks of geese that refuse to fly south for the winter. In the morning on my way to work they circle around making all kinds of noise. The skies have been clear now and again and I can see the stars. The same stars I used to look at when I was a child runaway, sleeping with the dogs in a junkyard.
I go too meetings and I see people reaching out to each other, and here on SR I see hundreds of people every single day taking time out of their lives to help others who are in pain.
My HP has not given me what I want. I wanted a simple life, to grow old with my soulmate, enjoy the company of friends we had made over the decades, watch our kids grow up. Nope, that's not what I got.
Instead I got a different life. I have made a lot of new friends, thru SR and through meetings in the places the lousy economy has taken me. I have seen small, beautiful things like geese flying overhead, snow on the trees and dunes in the desert. I did get to see our daughter grow up and have a family of her own, a very happy, normal family with no dysfunction and very few hardships.
I have had the opportunity to continue to live in spite of my slowly decaying health. Although I am in physical pain every day I do manage to hold on to a job, a place to live, and socialize with people once in a while. I have been able to share my own "Experience, Strength and Hope" in small ways and see that others have found a bit hope in my words.
No, I did not get the life I wanted. Instead I have been able to make a difference in the lives of a few other people. I have lost a lot of very good things, but the fact is, I did have those good things to enjoy.
I have learned that nothing lasts forever. No matter how good. For me, the secret to happiness that I have learned from my HP thru all this "life" I have been through is that the secret is in the small things. No _thing_ lasts forever. The feelings, on the other hand, now those I can keep forever. The feelings of having been a good husband to a wonderful lady for many, many years. The feelings of having been a father to a young woman, a son to charming Irish mom.
Those feelings are the gifts my HP has given me. Still, the greatest gift of all is the deep, deep sense of humility from having witnessed thousands upon thousand of people who are themselves battered and broken reach out to give hope to perfect strangers they have never met, and never will meet, simply because it is the right thing to do.
I did not get what I wanted. What I did get is completely different. Even though I feel completely broken, I realize that just because I feel that way does not mean that I am. I can still enjoy watching the geese, the stars, the snow. I am learning how to want what I got.
Someday soon when "the fat lady sings" I will be able to look back across the vast arc of the heavens and realize that, on this single mark of time I was given, I got the best ride ever. Not the ride I wanted, not at all, but without a doubt a ride worth living.
seek, I am truly sorry you feel like I do. I know how hard it can be. Perhaps if you do what all the rest of us are doing, hold on for just one day. Do the steps, or see a therapist, or whatever form of recovery you choose, just for one day. Take a minute to look at all the beauty that is in the world in spite of all the hardships in the world.
Just for a minute. That's all it takes, hang on just for a minute. You will make it thru and find your strength again. There are 80 thousand people here on SR doing exactly that, and we are all surviving, overcoming, and learning how to enjoy life again. You can do it too, and watch us all cheer you on and encourage you while you do the same for us.
Mike
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: west coast
Posts: 1,068
Originally Posted by TakingCharge999
DesertEyes thank you so much for your post, it was very meaningful to me. I am sorry to hear about your health issues but am amazed as how you are taking them. Thank you for the reminder that we are more than our bodies.
seek, I am now in Thailand visiting my sister. This is a very spiritual place. Incense, flowers, tropical trees, colors and good luck charms are all around. It is important to visit beautiful places and seek to be surrounded by creative people, positive people, motivated people, either that or spending time alone. Keep your own energy.
Admiring nature is a way to get closer to HP, even if just by pictures... or pets, I stare at my cats often and am amazed as to how perfect they are, how elegant and smart. They live in the moment...
There are tools to get closer to a sense of peace such as mandalas, I also recommend the book "You are here" by Thich Nhat Hanh.
Ask for what you need and it will be given, even if you don't have much faith, I have tested this and it works. I ask for clarity on my path, for guides. And they come.
seek, I am now in Thailand visiting my sister. This is a very spiritual place. Incense, flowers, tropical trees, colors and good luck charms are all around. It is important to visit beautiful places and seek to be surrounded by creative people, positive people, motivated people, either that or spending time alone. Keep your own energy.
Admiring nature is a way to get closer to HP, even if just by pictures... or pets, I stare at my cats often and am amazed as to how perfect they are, how elegant and smart. They live in the moment...
There are tools to get closer to a sense of peace such as mandalas, I also recommend the book "You are here" by Thich Nhat Hanh.
Ask for what you need and it will be given, even if you don't have much faith, I have tested this and it works. I ask for clarity on my path, for guides. And they come.
A few nights ago, my family was to get together at a Sushi restaurant. I was on time and waited and waited and finally went outside and I had been waiting in the wrong restaurant - the Thai restaurant. We quickly changed our plans and ate there. I was attracted to it because of its beauty and was just mesmerized. You are so right about beauty being important - it is extremely important to me. I need it for inspiration and hope.
I love Thich Nhat Hanh but don't have that book, so thanks for the recommendation!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: west coast
Posts: 1,068
Just a few notes: Do not believe in a personal god - more "the universe" and I agree the universe is amazing - I was just thinking last night, here we are spinning in space - BUT it means nothing to me if I feel unhappy. I know. I have a bad attitude because I want to be happy and I feel I deserve to be happy.
I know it is my ego that is in constant fear AND I can't control my ego - I'm powerless over it - ha ha - it has a life of its own.
I just had no idea that this would even be a possibility - I know - we are promised nothing, but I am very attached to happiness and health for me and my family. I envy people who are much more resigned about life and living it on life's terms - and can be even gracious about it - those are real blessings - which goes back to my original post - I don't have much faith - never did - I used the term "blind faith" because I read someone's use of that term yesterday and it made me think that that is the ONLY way to have faith because if there is a reason to have it, then it is not faith - it has to be blind (at least that was something I resonated with) . . .
I pray daily and ask for inspiration - ask for faith - ask to be shown what I need to do - ask that God's will be revealed to me (have not had a clue what that might look like, yet) . . .
What it seems like to me is that **** happens - and then you cope. I am constantly praying that my grandson and family members will be protected and guided.
I wish I had a sign that I am not alone - that there is a loving presence - but I don't feel it - at least not yet.
I believe faith is a gift that some people get - I was told I had a chip missing when I was born and because of the way I was raised, I am not able to get in touch with that piece - or haven't yet.
I have had spiritual experiences in my life, but not for a long time. It would mean so much to me to have some perception that "all is well" - otherwise, I just have to fake it and most of the time, I am just quivering in fear. Not a fun way to live.
and I feel I deserve to be happy.I know it is my ego that is in constant fear AND I can't control my ego - I'm powerless over it - ha ha - it has a life of its own.
I just had no idea that this would even be a possibility - I know - we are promised nothing, but I am very attached to happiness and health for me and my family. I envy people who are much more resigned about life and living it on life's terms - and can be even gracious about it - those are real blessings - which goes back to my original post - I don't have much faith - never did - I used the term "blind faith" because I read someone's use of that term yesterday and it made me think that that is the ONLY way to have faith because if there is a reason to have it, then it is not faith - it has to be blind (at least that was something I resonated with) . . .
I pray daily and ask for inspiration - ask for faith - ask to be shown what I need to do - ask that God's will be revealed to me (have not had a clue what that might look like, yet) . . .
What it seems like to me is that **** happens - and then you cope. I am constantly praying that my grandson and family members will be protected and guided.
I wish I had a sign that I am not alone - that there is a loving presence - but I don't feel it - at least not yet.
I believe faith is a gift that some people get - I was told I had a chip missing when I was born and because of the way I was raised, I am not able to get in touch with that piece - or haven't yet.
I have had spiritual experiences in my life, but not for a long time. It would mean so much to me to have some perception that "all is well" - otherwise, I just have to fake it and most of the time, I am just quivering in fear. Not a fun way to live.
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I'm a Buddhist, I stopped believing in God at the age of 13 while living in an abusive dysfunctional family. My Dad was a minister, so becoming an atheist was about the most passive-aggressive thing I could find to do. (I just realized that about 10 seconds ago).
As a Buddhist, I'm learning to accept the world as it presents itself to me. Christians say that "God has a plan for me," Muslims say that "It's Gods will," I choose to believe that everything is just as it should be. I accept the world exactly as it is. (On a good day). And while some people feel that that just means that we should accept our fate...I believe that (as long as we truly accept reality) we have almost unlimited freedom to act within that reality. And the more we learn to accept the world as it actually is, without preconceptions about how things should be, or how we would like things to be, the more freedom we have.
Stop beating yourself up over the past, and stop worrying about the future. Everything is going to work out. It will. Really!
As a Buddhist, I'm learning to accept the world as it presents itself to me. Christians say that "God has a plan for me," Muslims say that "It's Gods will," I choose to believe that everything is just as it should be. I accept the world exactly as it is. (On a good day). And while some people feel that that just means that we should accept our fate...I believe that (as long as we truly accept reality) we have almost unlimited freedom to act within that reality. And the more we learn to accept the world as it actually is, without preconceptions about how things should be, or how we would like things to be, the more freedom we have.
Stop beating yourself up over the past, and stop worrying about the future. Everything is going to work out. It will. Really!
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Originally Posted by seek
I know it is my ego that is in constant fear AND I can't control my ego - I'm powerless over it - ha ha - it has a life of its own.
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot control.
The courage to change the things I can.
And the wisdom to know the difference.
L
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Originally Posted by mattmathews
I'm a Buddhist, I stopped believing in God at the age of 13 while living in an abusive dysfunctional family. My Dad was a minister, so becoming an atheist was about the most passive-aggressive thing I could find to do. (I just realized that about 10 seconds ago).
As a Buddhist, I'm learning to accept the world as it presents itself to me. Christians say that "God has a plan for me," Muslims say that "It's Gods will," I choose to believe that everything is just as it should be. I accept the world exactly as it is. (On a good day). And while some people feel that that just means that we should accept our fate...I believe that (as long as we truly accept reality) we have almost unlimited freedom to act within that reality. And the more we learn to accept the world as it actually is, without preconceptions about how things should be, or how we would like things to be, the more freedom we have.
Stop beating yourself up over the past, and stop worrying about the future. Everything is going to work out. It will. Really!
As a Buddhist, I'm learning to accept the world as it presents itself to me. Christians say that "God has a plan for me," Muslims say that "It's Gods will," I choose to believe that everything is just as it should be. I accept the world exactly as it is. (On a good day). And while some people feel that that just means that we should accept our fate...I believe that (as long as we truly accept reality) we have almost unlimited freedom to act within that reality. And the more we learn to accept the world as it actually is, without preconceptions about how things should be, or how we would like things to be, the more freedom we have.
Stop beating yourself up over the past, and stop worrying about the future. Everything is going to work out. It will. Really!
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Originally Posted by LaTeeDa
I am powerless over a lot of things BUT, my ego is not one of them. I can choose to allow my ego to control me, or not. I don't always choose to control it, but I have the ability--if I want it bad enough.
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot control.
The courage to change the things I can.
And the wisdom to know the difference.
L
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot control.
The courage to change the things I can.
And the wisdom to know the difference.
L
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Location: behind the viewfinder...
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Originally Posted by seek
Well, happy for you! My ego is out-of-control and has a life of its own - it does its own thing, without my consent.
L
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Originally Posted by LaTeeDa
That's a lot like saying I can't stop drinking, I just can't control myself. Have you read "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle? Great book about understanding and transcending your ego.
L
L
The basic issue seems to be a lack of trust in the universe and I haven't been able to think myself into a better place around that - as I said, I do pray and have other spiritual practices, so I am working on it - but it hasn't "gone away."
Interestingly enough, in psychology, they talk about "building up your ego strength," but in popular literature, the ego is evil and bad - this monster thing - I personally believe the ego is part of you and cannot be eliminated, nor should it be, but with greater consciousness, one can be more in the "witness" mode and not identified with ego states.
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I think that meditation is kind of like a lobotomy (in a really good way, natch). Learning to keep our mind (relatively) still and under some kind of control. I'm really coming to believe that our intellectual, thinking, monkey mind isn't the best part of our minds. It's just it's the only part of our mind that most of us have access to.
I don't believe in God, but when I started Al-anon I gave myself permission to believe in a higher power...with no idea what that higher power might be. I love the fact that the 12 Steps refer to "God, as we understood him." It tells me that our understanding of our higher power can change, grow, evolve.
I even allowed myself to try prayer with my meditation...and it helped. (My wife almost fell out of her chair when I told her that). But, I still don't believe in God...or at least not the God of my father. I do believe that I have access to a higher power...maybe that means I'm a child of the universe and always connected to it, maybe it means that I, we, have a higher faculty within us...I don't know. But I don't have to know.
In fact, maybe not knowing is half the fun. We're on a spiritual journey, we don't have to know the destination to enjoy the ride.
I don't believe in God, but when I started Al-anon I gave myself permission to believe in a higher power...with no idea what that higher power might be. I love the fact that the 12 Steps refer to "God, as we understood him." It tells me that our understanding of our higher power can change, grow, evolve.
I even allowed myself to try prayer with my meditation...and it helped. (My wife almost fell out of her chair when I told her that). But, I still don't believe in God...or at least not the God of my father. I do believe that I have access to a higher power...maybe that means I'm a child of the universe and always connected to it, maybe it means that I, we, have a higher faculty within us...I don't know. But I don't have to know.
In fact, maybe not knowing is half the fun. We're on a spiritual journey, we don't have to know the destination to enjoy the ride.
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