eyeswideopen

I come home from work not a nice word out of anyone’s month to me. The kid running around the house with the dog, my husband throws his foot up on the chair and says see this is what they put on my ankle, where should I plug in the receiving devise. I'm trying to tell the child to stop running, my husband wants to know if I feel like having salad with dinner, the table needs to be clean off, it would be my job to make the salad, the child still running around not listening, I'm beginning to feel like smoking, my husband getting mad at me for telling the child to stop running around, I'm try to pick up coats, clean off the table, go through the mail, my son and I are starting to bricker, now it my fault my husband mad, and that he doesn't feels like eating dinner.
Now I'm bricking with both my husband and son.

What else could I do, I left. Drove around for a half hour after stopping at my parents house to fix my Dad's computer.

After all the sh.. my husband did while using, all the two timing, nasty shi. my ***.... husband did while using. I think he has no respect for me and has someone he wants to start seeing.

I want to be happy so bad, I have tasted this happiness, I have felt what it means to have people care about you. To taste this happiness and know that I can't have happiness with my husband because my husband feels I can't be happy.

Now my husband at a meeting and I'm feeling like my mine needs to go on a long vacation to find out who I am.

LettingGo

Have you and your mind ever attended an Alanon/ Naranon meeting? Might help you out...

smoke gets in my eyes

Hi eyes.

So... he's got home incarceration? Is that the ankle thing? That's a sentence for everybody in the house. I know how a chaotic scene like that can get to you.

The drive was a very good idea. Finding some regular time just for you might be a good idea, too. Getting out to meetings?

Hugs!
Smoke

eyeswideopen

Have you and your mind ever attended an Alanon/ Naranon meeting? Yes not as offen as I should, but sometimes........alot of times, I feel like why should I he's just going to hurt me.

smoke gets in my eyes

Oh! Eyes, Alanon is not just for the ones who plan to hang in no matter what. It is for ALL those injured by proximity to an alcoholic. It's for comfort and support even years after there are no new wounds being inflicted. It's also a good process for getting to know you. Sometimes when we don't know what to do it's only because we have no earthly idea what we want. We know we don't want THIS... but what?... and how do we start getting it? Get to know you. Whether it's through alanon, or counseling or reading self help books, keeping a journal and rereading, posting here and rereading or some combination of those things... knowing YOU is the key to making you happy. I know you have kids and Mr. Misery and the world on your shoulders, but you are important, too.

HUGS!

JT

Ahhhh...driving! I used to keep my books in the car and I spent so much time in my car in the beginning of recovery I should have packed a blanket and a pillow. Meetings were also a way out of the house and the chaos. Alot of times when I got home things had calmed down. I began to think without me as an audience they didn't need to perform.

Then I realized I didn't have to leave, I could just refuse to participate or react. One step at a time we regained some sense of calm.

Eye's, trust me on this. It gets worse before it gets better when you begin to get to know yourself as Smoke suggested. But the journey is so worth it.

I know what you mean about "What's the point" but the point is that the only one you can change is you. Fact!! Huge fact!!!
You cannot make him behave, you cannot make him be nice, you cannot make him treat you the way you deserve. The wonderful outcome of you beginning to change YOU is that there is a trickle down effect. "Yeah right" you say?? Well so did I.

Leaving only leaves you physically away from the problem but you are emotionally still attached unless you get to know yourself and know exactly what you want in your life. You would be taking yourself with you.

Hugs,
JT

eyeswideopen

Your wright about getting to know myself better but that seem to be what he hates the most about me.

constant

More important than what "he hates most" about you, is what do you like about yourself? It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks......it only matters what YOU think!!

((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))


Constant