If AA doesn't work for you...Don't bother reading this.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
If AA doesn't work for you...Don't bother reading this.
I hear a lot on this site that AA doesn't work for me. I would say the answer to that is "correct". It doesn't work for you. I have come to realize AA only succeeds if you work for AA. You study the Big Book...You get a sponsor...You drag your ass to meetings when you don't want to....You do what ever it takes to get alcohol out of your life and get your life back...Better than you have ever had it. You have the obsession to drink alcohol...Lifted. What a wonderful thing that is...Not fighting it.
I hear in meetings and I hear it on here..."I've been in and out of AA for years." I heard it so much....I ask people...Why?....I've only been in AA once and I have had a spiritual awakening...An entire psychic change as a result of these steps...The answer I get..."Oh...I never did the steps...Didn't even get a sponsor."....So you've really only been in and out of meetings for years...And you were probably texting somebody while you were at those. Not me...I go to meetings and I listen...I look straight at whoever is sharing...And pay attention to what they are saying. I want to learn something...And I always do.
I hear my sponsor didn't have time for me...Or he/she relapsed...Or he/she didn't like my shoes....WHATEVER. I got a sponsor...He was there to answer the questions I had doing the steps...But I had to do ALL the work. I read the instructions...I listened to Speakers....I used every resource you can find on the internet...And there is a TON of it..... to get myself through those steps. I showed up early and stayed late after meetings. I ran with the herd...Followed the winners. Became friends with these people that worked AA and asked them questions too. Pretty soon I had about 6 sponsors....And they all helped me. Why?.....Because I wanted to rid my life of something that was destroying me....I had had enough...I was done.
I heard a speaker once talk about the directions for these 12 steps and it helped me. Maybe it will help you. The directions are in the first 103 pages of the book. 103 pages....Study it. It goes like this...
Read the Doctor's Opinion first (8 additional pages) and then Pages 1-43. This is about Step One. Almost half of what you have to read is step One.
Pages 1-23 is about the Physical Craving
Pages 23-43 is about the Mental Obsession.
Step one...The only step you have to get 100% right.
Then you have 19 pages on steps two and three. Two critical steps in 19 pages.
Now you have the directions for six steps....Four through nine.....In 20 pages. It's not like you have this huge textbook to lug around....20 pages....Six steps.
Read it till you understand it...Study it.
That leaves three steps...Ten through twelve...Step twelve has it's own chapter...And you still have all you need for those three steps in 19 pages.
It's not that much to take in...It just takes a little effort and a lot of willingness to make this work. It's real easy to find ways to say this doesn't work for you...Because it doesn't. You want it...You work for it. I did...And it works for me. Good luck getting sober....However you do it.
If you have any questions...Fire away...If I don't have an answer...I'm sure one of my six sponsors will.
I hear in meetings and I hear it on here..."I've been in and out of AA for years." I heard it so much....I ask people...Why?....I've only been in AA once and I have had a spiritual awakening...An entire psychic change as a result of these steps...The answer I get..."Oh...I never did the steps...Didn't even get a sponsor."....So you've really only been in and out of meetings for years...And you were probably texting somebody while you were at those. Not me...I go to meetings and I listen...I look straight at whoever is sharing...And pay attention to what they are saying. I want to learn something...And I always do.
I hear my sponsor didn't have time for me...Or he/she relapsed...Or he/she didn't like my shoes....WHATEVER. I got a sponsor...He was there to answer the questions I had doing the steps...But I had to do ALL the work. I read the instructions...I listened to Speakers....I used every resource you can find on the internet...And there is a TON of it..... to get myself through those steps. I showed up early and stayed late after meetings. I ran with the herd...Followed the winners. Became friends with these people that worked AA and asked them questions too. Pretty soon I had about 6 sponsors....And they all helped me. Why?.....Because I wanted to rid my life of something that was destroying me....I had had enough...I was done.
I heard a speaker once talk about the directions for these 12 steps and it helped me. Maybe it will help you. The directions are in the first 103 pages of the book. 103 pages....Study it. It goes like this...
Read the Doctor's Opinion first (8 additional pages) and then Pages 1-43. This is about Step One. Almost half of what you have to read is step One.
Pages 1-23 is about the Physical Craving
Pages 23-43 is about the Mental Obsession.
Step one...The only step you have to get 100% right.
Then you have 19 pages on steps two and three. Two critical steps in 19 pages.
Now you have the directions for six steps....Four through nine.....In 20 pages. It's not like you have this huge textbook to lug around....20 pages....Six steps.
Read it till you understand it...Study it.
That leaves three steps...Ten through twelve...Step twelve has it's own chapter...And you still have all you need for those three steps in 19 pages.
It's not that much to take in...It just takes a little effort and a lot of willingness to make this work. It's real easy to find ways to say this doesn't work for you...Because it doesn't. You want it...You work for it. I did...And it works for me. Good luck getting sober....However you do it.
If you have any questions...Fire away...If I don't have an answer...I'm sure one of my six sponsors will.
Life Health Prosperity
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Louisana
Posts: 6,752
The fellowship of AA has done more for me than anything else Sapling, but I am working the steps as well. My sobriety date is 7-10-2010, congratulations on 5 months, before ya know it 5 years. 
lillyknitting
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Loughton, Essex, England
Posts: 638
Thank you sapling, I've been searching for 35 years for the programme to be explained to me like that, simple but awesome. The words that really summed it all up in your message were "I wanted to rid my life of something that was destroying me" and that's it, in a nutshell. Thank you
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: England
Posts: 51
I wouldn't say AA doesn't work for me. It's just not my thing. Same as CBT was never my thing.
Different people have different ways. If AA is right for you that's fab. Whenever I went the people were nice and supportive, but honestly their company made me feel worse. I craved more. That's how my brain works.
Different strokes I guess.
But if a person is really struggling and going round and round in cycles AA done properly is something they should probably really consider.
I'm doing fine atm my own way, but I would never rule it out if I started to struggle again. Afterall, I'm about to start CBT again lol.
Different people have different ways. If AA is right for you that's fab. Whenever I went the people were nice and supportive, but honestly their company made me feel worse. I craved more. That's how my brain works.
Different strokes I guess.
But if a person is really struggling and going round and round in cycles AA done properly is something they should probably really consider.
I'm doing fine atm my own way, but I would never rule it out if I started to struggle again. Afterall, I'm about to start CBT again lol.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Inbetween dances
Posts: 548
Yeah, when u break it down like that, it doesn't seem so overwhelming. I am hoping to have what you have..... My sponsor was supposed to call me tonight, she didnt. Great start huh? But I remained sober and spent almost all day online reading, reading the big book and reading step 1 of 12/12. Thank you sapling!
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 609
I believe you get out of any program what you put in, and if you want sobriety bad enough, you will put in whatever it takes. There are heaps of programs out there these days, some very good, some built most likely on gimmicks and making a profit. I don't believe there are any easy, quick methods to getting sober - they all take some personal work and commitment.
I have great respect for AA and what it does for people. I however chose something else and after 2 years, I am happy with it. If you don't want to do AA, fine, there are other means to getting sober out there. But make sure you do have some viable alternative in place, and don't think it is necessarily going to be 'easier' than doing AA.
I have great respect for AA and what it does for people. I however chose something else and after 2 years, I am happy with it. If you don't want to do AA, fine, there are other means to getting sober out there. But make sure you do have some viable alternative in place, and don't think it is necessarily going to be 'easier' than doing AA.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Singapore
Posts: 737
Sapling amigo, I've wanted to post something along these lines for a while, but every time I started I couldn't stop and the posts turned into novels lol!! So all I have to say is RIGHT FRIKIN ON!!!
I'm with you, one time only, and it worked. Why? Because I was so bloody desperate, sick, and dying when I ended up at AA's door that I didn't dare question anything that could have helped. I did it by the book from jump. A while later, after Memphisblues (another poster here) hooked me up with a proper sponsor and I got started on the steps, well let's just say my sobriety is getting stronger every day.
It's so frustrating when I read posters come on and flat out say "AA isn't for me", or "I can't get with the 'religious' aspect' ", and when poked and prodded a bit I find out they either a) haven't even read the Big Book, or b) never worked any steps, looked for a sponsor, and only went to meetings, as if there is some Magic Sober Dust waiting for them when they stand up and introduce themselves. Grrr....
At any rate, before this turns into that novel I was just talking about (lol!) I am grateful you've put this into words because really bro, it needs to be said, and so many folks - people with that typical knee jerk reaction to the mention of AA - they need to know that this stuff is not all meetings and catch phrases. There's work to be done and it's worth it.
Feel I need to add this; like you I am eternally and forever grateful for AA and those within this program who reached out and showed me how this thing of ours works... it/they literally did save my life.
I'm with you, one time only, and it worked. Why? Because I was so bloody desperate, sick, and dying when I ended up at AA's door that I didn't dare question anything that could have helped. I did it by the book from jump. A while later, after Memphisblues (another poster here) hooked me up with a proper sponsor and I got started on the steps, well let's just say my sobriety is getting stronger every day.
It's so frustrating when I read posters come on and flat out say "AA isn't for me", or "I can't get with the 'religious' aspect' ", and when poked and prodded a bit I find out they either a) haven't even read the Big Book, or b) never worked any steps, looked for a sponsor, and only went to meetings, as if there is some Magic Sober Dust waiting for them when they stand up and introduce themselves. Grrr....
At any rate, before this turns into that novel I was just talking about (lol!) I am grateful you've put this into words because really bro, it needs to be said, and so many folks - people with that typical knee jerk reaction to the mention of AA - they need to know that this stuff is not all meetings and catch phrases. There's work to be done and it's worth it.
Feel I need to add this; like you I am eternally and forever grateful for AA and those within this program who reached out and showed me how this thing of ours works... it/they literally did save my life.
MINEr
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Bay Area, Ca
Posts: 505
First time around for me to, and I just passed eight months. Dove into the program like a man dying, because I was, came within hours of the bottom no one escapes from. We all put so much effort into our getting drunk and screwing up our lives, why should we think that getting sober would be as simple as an effort of will. That is just our alcoholic personality, always looking for the quick fix. The first thing AA taught me is that if I wanted it, I had to come and get it. If I worked at McDonalds and mopped floors, they give me a mop and a bucket, but I have to do the work. AA is the same, they give you a Big Book and a fellowship, but you have to get the sponsor, make the calls, and work the steps. I did that, and I rarely have to struggle with my cravings, they dissapate with ease. For anyone struggling, give it a try, an honest, earnest try. If you're not satisfied, you can have your misery back. Thanks sapling for the post.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by Peter G 
Sapling amigo, I've wanted to post something along these lines for a while, but every time I started I couldn't stop and the posts turned into novels lol!! So all I have to say is RIGHT FRIKIN ON!!!
I'm with you, one time only, and it worked. Why? Because I was so bloody desperate, sick, and dying when I ended up at AA's door that I didn't dare question anything that could have helped. I did it by the book from jump. A while later, after Memphisblues (another poster here) hooked me up with a proper sponsor and I got started on the steps, well let's just say my sobriety is getting stronger every day.
It's so frustrating when I read posters come on and flat out say "AA isn't for me", or "I can't get with the 'religious' aspect' ", and when poked and prodded a bit I find out they either a) haven't even read the Big Book, or b) never worked any steps, looked for a sponsor, and only went to meetings, as if there is some Magic Sober Dust waiting for them when they stand up and introduce themselves. Grrr....
At any rate, before this turns into that novel I was just talking about (lol!) I am grateful you've put this into words because really bro, it needs to be said, and so many folks - people with that typical knee jerk reaction to the mention of AA - they need to know that this stuff is not all meetings and catch phrases. There's work to be done and it's worth it.
Feel I need to add this; like you I am eternally and forever grateful for AA and those within this program who reached out and showed me how this thing of ours works... it/they literally did save my life.
I'm with you, one time only, and it worked. Why? Because I was so bloody desperate, sick, and dying when I ended up at AA's door that I didn't dare question anything that could have helped. I did it by the book from jump. A while later, after Memphisblues (another poster here) hooked me up with a proper sponsor and I got started on the steps, well let's just say my sobriety is getting stronger every day.
It's so frustrating when I read posters come on and flat out say "AA isn't for me", or "I can't get with the 'religious' aspect' ", and when poked and prodded a bit I find out they either a) haven't even read the Big Book, or b) never worked any steps, looked for a sponsor, and only went to meetings, as if there is some Magic Sober Dust waiting for them when they stand up and introduce themselves. Grrr....
At any rate, before this turns into that novel I was just talking about (lol!) I am grateful you've put this into words because really bro, it needs to be said, and so many folks - people with that typical knee jerk reaction to the mention of AA - they need to know that this stuff is not all meetings and catch phrases. There's work to be done and it's worth it.
Feel I need to add this; like you I am eternally and forever grateful for AA and those within this program who reached out and showed me how this thing of ours works... it/they literally did save my life.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,146
I'd like to put in a word for those who just skimmed the surface, having done that myself for years and getting zero from that before doing the things you mentioned work well and getting the usual great results.
As long as we aren't dead a more productive experience with doing all the stuff in AA can be begun at anytime. I can't get the years back I was on the fringe of AA but I'm so glad I accepted the help of the sober people in AA when I did. Night and day difference in living sober and comfortable from very early on.
If I stay sober, in a few more weeks I'll begin my 4th sober decade because some men and women extended their hands and patiently showed me what they had done, the things they continued to do and what I might also do to never have to drink again.
As long as we aren't dead a more productive experience with doing all the stuff in AA can be begun at anytime. I can't get the years back I was on the fringe of AA but I'm so glad I accepted the help of the sober people in AA when I did. Night and day difference in living sober and comfortable from very early on.
If I stay sober, in a few more weeks I'll begin my 4th sober decade because some men and women extended their hands and patiently showed me what they had done, the things they continued to do and what I might also do to never have to drink again.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Congrats on thirty years Langkah....I hope to meet up with you on the Road Of Happy Destiny someday. You are a true example of how this program works and I enjoy what you share here. It is definitely a life changing experience....And man...Did I need that.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by Anna
I'm glad you're doing well and that you are enjoying your recovery. 
Awakening...
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: in the present
Posts: 1,125
Being a student of the Traditions, SR is a public forum, so I keep Tradition 11 in mind. "Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion." I don't try to "sell" AA, but rather let my story and my experience, strength and hope speak for itself.
Every time there is a AA vs. everything else thread, I remember Tradition 10, that we no opinion on outside issues. Other programs and whether they work or not is an outside opinion.
My only responsibility is to carry the message to the alcoholic who still suffers.
Every time there is a AA vs. everything else thread, I remember Tradition 10, that we no opinion on outside issues. Other programs and whether they work or not is an outside opinion.
My only responsibility is to carry the message to the alcoholic who still suffers.
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