IndaMiricale

On this sunny last sunday of jan. 2012, I woke up sober and thought of yesterday and simply had a smile. For many years I sure didnt wake up with a smile. Hated coming to and having to face all those ugly feelings to get going and threw the day to only drink to oblivion again.

After all those years I finally entered into a whole new world. A sober world, one that grows each day with more peace,hope, and serenity. But I do know it all can wash away in a moment with picking up that first drink. In days I return right back to that old world. Because that one drink just leads to another and another until I am in that walking coma. Only in a mattter of time to return to jails or hospitals. That world of drunkness,conflict and misery. I absolutly knew of no other way of life. The world of us alcoholic is no pleasant one but yet we try to hang on to it for as long as we can. I know I did. For those that I read that come here early in the stages and "get it" I am just amazed and so unbelievably happy to see it happen. For I know looking at the world through that bottom of a bottle is no fun after you have become that full alcoholic. I see many question themselves all the time with , I am not that bad, I dont lose jobs, family ect. And no one can tell you if you are a alcoholic , but if you are you also with do anything to deny that there is a problem and prove to yourself you dont.


For the first 15 years of my heavy drinking I didnt lose anything either. Only gained things beautiful loving girl, great job, traveled the world ect. Everywhere was the party though. And over that time before I really knew what happend 10 more years were gone. And I had none of those things left. I became that person couldnt hold a job,homeless and alone to only live to drink. And coming to AA has really helped me to come out of that fog, and truly see some hope that I can live life without the drink. For I like all these mornings waking up with a smile instead of the old alcoholic way.

Enjoy the rest of this sunday. And for me I am welcoming Feb with open arms.

Good love, Inda

stepping

thanks for the thread Inda!

MycoolFitz

Yea thanks. I lost 3 wives, 3 houses, 3 dogs. I miss the dogs but we're still here so there is still hope. Take care my friend

smartblonde

Thank you for your post and for addressing all of us who keep questioning if we *really* need to stop drinking forever, because we are not homeless yet.

You say you are impressed by those of us who come here early on and "get it", while I am impressed much more by you (and others) who have more severe physical withdrawl symptoms, who lack family support, and who have absolutely no choice but to abstain.

I still can't imagine never drinking ever again. I am sincerely focused on one day at a time. I really crave my wine every day all day... but for me it is far more psychological than physiological at my stage. I just can't even fathom the journey involved in recovery once your body depends on consuming alcohol.

It is because of people like you that those of us earlier in this downward spiral CAN "get it". It is due to your willingness to share your stories, share your success, share your advice that helps people like me.

I appreciate you and I am proud of you!

BecomingSober

I just found the board. I was on the slippery slope for years and I knew it. I wish I would have cut back the drinking years ago, so I would be stronger now. I still function and have a job. A very painful divorce did speed the spiral down. Basically, everyday trying to get home as fast as possible and "relax". Computer and beer. Am alone, kids off in college or on their own. My life sucks (because I make it suck?). The divorce totally shocked and tore the family apart. My ex had a secret. He was gay. My one son is totally estranged from him and also having problems with depression. He is trying to get the college degree through the 5th year.
Well, today is a sober day. I'll check back in tomorrow. Wish me luck.
Lucy

PS what you wrote was inspirational to me and I decided to reveal myself

IndaMiricale

Welcome Becomingsober :ghug3

This is a wonderful place to be. Support here is just awesome.

IndaMiricale

And thats a rap for the day.

Good nite all, and sweet dreams

Good love, Inda

SeekSobriety

Thanks so much for the incredible post , this post should be made a "sticky post" so everyone will always beable to read it.

Thank you so much for sharing.

IndaMiricale

Gooooooood morning

Well today I am off to start a new job, to help continue this building of a new life.

I get so worked up and nervous , for no reason. I must have said the serenity prayer 10 times already. LOL.

Have a beautiful day all.

IndaMiricale

First day working done.

AAAhhhhh, feels good to be home and relaxing now. Old days I would be at the bar already. Yukko.

SeekSobriety

Glad to hear you had a good day and are taking positive action!
Keep up the good work

IndaMiricale

Well its the end of the month.

It sure is a cool thing to say I am been sober all year. Looking forward to Feb. I hope everyone wonderful new month.

Off to set up the meeting and brew some coffee.

Good love, Inda

katrinka

Thanks for the great posts, Inda, you are very inspirational! Here's to a sober February!

BecomingSober

Day 3 for me. I know that is no big deal. But for me it is a record for probably 3 months. Actually joined 3 days ago. But prior to that several things came together for me. Unintended consequences I guess. 1) I broke my toe (sober), but jammed it very hard in a dark hall. If I drink I let things slide around the house. 2) I found out I have quite high blood pressure. I believe this is due to drinking. It has very much scared me. 3) I lost my keys to the car. Although sober when this happened. I later was drinking and cleaning up and must have put them somewhere. Have no spare and also lost a previous set of keys and do not have the code for reprogramming the the chips in the key. A very expensive repair ($600) and a rental car for 2 days on top of that. There is no doubt in my mind that when I drink I get very absent minded and misplace things. I know none of these things are huge disasters but they came back to back in January. And then I found this site and decided that was it. I have also put myself on a low salt, low caffeine diet also. Might as well do it all together. My next goal is 5 days. One step at a time.

Finmywayback

Very inspirational! Thank you for the words of encouragement. I to am happy when I see someone get it and stop fighting it because they have not lost everything,"YET."

BecomingSober

What a day!!! But I made it! Been having troubles with my furnace. Couldn't get it to start up this morning. Repairman came in and it worked fine. Decided to put in a new control circuit board. Costs now up to $730. Had already replaced the inducer motor.

Besides the furnace the car got totally re-keyed for about $530. Wanted to buy beer on the way home. DIDN'T. While cooking dinner I found the little silver tag that has the code for the computer that manages the chips in the keys and the security system. Probably $150 repair became about $770 with the car rental. I am an idiot. (I had put it in a safe place and did not remember.) I seriously want to "beat" myself up. (Actually that is partly why I drink.) I am a looser and just deserve the scraps of life. I never totally got over my childhood where I truly did get beaten on a regular basis and got the "scraps" in the family. Alcohol kind of makes me feel better for a little while.

I am kind of crying now. But I will not go out and buy beer. Day 4 is about done and I did make it. Next goal is day 5.
Lucy

nel68

BecomingSober, please do not be hard on yourself! We all have mishaps in life and yes some are bigger and more costly but its all a part of life,and as alcoholics we tend to beat our self up enough. You are doing really super good sober 4 days that is fantastic! I am new to sobriety and this board ...32 days sober/SR...I credit this board and the wonderful support for my 32 days..You will find SR board is a great support system Hope the rest of your nite goes well

masanori

Inda,

love your attitude.

NewBeginning010

Thank you for being you & congrats on your sober life IndaMiricale

FlyerFan

Thanks for sharing that with us.