Plan of action
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1
Plan of action
Forgive me but I did break the rules. I had to create a new identity on the SR or my AH, who knows I post here would find out. It is out of necessity and my safety that I did so. Once I am out I will go back to posting under my 'other' name and retire this one forever.
Hope is a wonderful thing.
I have a plan. I am not being held back by my fear and indecision.
I have immense guilt for 'leaving' him especially because he is in recovery, sort of.
I do see progress in some areas but not in others and some new traits that have popped up have made me see that I cannot live with the unacceptable.
My plan is now in action. I am lining up a place to live, as there is no way he will leave and i have no grounds for having him thrown out.
I am saving up money to ensure I have a safety net.
and little by little I am organizing and cleaning out our home.
I doubt I will be able to go until next summer but I can do that.
I just keep reminding myself "I can do something for 12 hours that would appall me if I had to do it forever".
It helps. It really does.
My guilt is what is hard to deal with. I feel like I should want to stay. But I don't.
Hope is a wonderful thing.
I have a plan. I am not being held back by my fear and indecision.
I have immense guilt for 'leaving' him especially because he is in recovery, sort of.
I do see progress in some areas but not in others and some new traits that have popped up have made me see that I cannot live with the unacceptable.
My plan is now in action. I am lining up a place to live, as there is no way he will leave and i have no grounds for having him thrown out.
I am saving up money to ensure I have a safety net.
and little by little I am organizing and cleaning out our home.
I doubt I will be able to go until next summer but I can do that.
I just keep reminding myself "I can do something for 12 hours that would appall me if I had to do it forever".
It helps. It really does.
My guilt is what is hard to deal with. I feel like I should want to stay. But I don't.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Good on you for having a plan, and I completely understand the identity change.
Try to remind yourself that your leaving is the consequence he will have because of his alcoholism and behaviors.
I know when I am having difficulty letting go of an emotion like guilt or worry, I close my eyes and visualize God's loving hands. I place the emotion in his hands, and let it go. Sometimes I have to do this many times during the day.
Sending you hugs of support!
Try to remind yourself that your leaving is the consequence he will have because of his alcoholism and behaviors.
I know when I am having difficulty letting go of an emotion like guilt or worry, I close my eyes and visualize God's loving hands. I place the emotion in his hands, and let it go. Sometimes I have to do this many times during the day.
Sending you hugs of support!
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