Sunshynemarie

I've been abusing alcohol and drugs for over 10 years now, I am only 23. After losing my job, getting married, and starting college last year, I decided to get clean. It is so hard not to want to get high. I am Bipolar and weed was how I always coped with life. I always said weed was my first love, my first marriage. Now I am in the middle of a nasty divorce. I am not sure how long I have been sober from weed. It might have only been a month or so, I decided to start counting from the beginning of the new year. So its been 28 days now. Its been 3 days since I have had a drink. I do not consider my alcohol consumption as being a problem now. I might have 4 beers once every 2 weeks, maybe. I pretty much have that under control. But there is not a day that goes by that I do not want to high on something. I have done almost everything: cocaine (my 2nd love), meth, rolls, pain pills, nerve relaxers & muscle relaxers(i am prescribed these, i try my best not to abuse them), weed, acid, and alcohol.. I just do not know how to cope with life right now. I am going through a few martial problems, school is overwhelming me, broke, and worry about how i am going to pay my bills everyday is not helping my sobriety. Well the being broke part, because I cannot afford my drugs.. I feel like any day I am going to sneak away from my husband and go get high.. Actually I have to talk myself out of it at least 10 times a day.. Bad part is my husband is a recovering addict himself... I am lost and not sure what to do anymore.. This low of a depression is killing me and I really just want to get high

Dee74

welcome sunshynemarie

learning to cope with life sober and staright was a big deal for me too - I think it is for most of us.

I found, with a little support, each time I faced something and got through it clean and sober I got a little better at it the next time

It's tough for a while - but you're not alone here.
This place can really help

D

jocata

Welcome Sunshyne. This is a great place to start. I can relate to your post. I was addictied to just about anything that made me feel different, anything that would get me out of my depression. What I found out is that all the alcohol and drugs would just make my depression and anxiety much worse.

If you really want to stop, you can do it. Please keep reading and posting, you will get a ton of support here.

God bless.