changemyway

I can't stay sober. I need help. I'm scared of withdrawals and I can't go through it on my own. My hands are literally tied with my two small children. I love them to death, but I am not the best parent right now. I have no help with them, no family around here and no one to watch them so I can go to AA meetings, forget rehab. I would love to go, I can't, there is no one to take care of them for me, I can't leave them. I don't know what to do

Dee74

Hi Changemyway

There's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

I know AA, SMART and Lifering offer some online meetings - Rational Recovery has no meetings at all.

Some AA meetings will also offer childcare, some welcome children - you could call your local AA office and find out

I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.

The main thing tho - whatever you decide to do - is do something.
I know it's hard when you have other responsibilities as well, but in my experience, inaction just leads to more drinking....

D

doggonecarl

I don't either. With no options, like AA, you are left doing what you've been doing and that's not working.

Things sound hopeless, but how much of that is the booze?

I don't know your story, but if it's anything like mine we're plenty resourceful when it came to drinking. Apply half that resourcefulness to your recovery. Locate a babysitter for the hour or two hours of a meeting. Maybe there is a meeting where you can brings kids.

You have to do something. They need a sober mom. For tonight, stop drinking and try to work out a plan.

My thoughts go out to you.

artsoul

I feel for you, change..... I remember the feeling of hopelessness and that's what your post reminds me of. It's hard to be a mom (we're not supposed to get sick, right?!?)

Does your family know what you're going through? Any chance someone can come watch your children for a few days ( or more) so that you can get through detox?

It's hard to ask for help, but then again what would you do if you had to have major surgery? Certainly, alcoholism is a serious illness..... I would definitely talk to your doctor again and think hard about what's best for you during this time.

Most of us thought we'd never get sober either - so take heart.....:ghug3

2granddaughters

I would suggest you get to your local AA group and talk to the girls there. It may surprise you the solutions they come up with. You can't see the solutions right now.

All the best.

Bob R.

FlyerFan

There isnt anyone at all who could babysit for an hour?

At the very least, call your local AA and tell them your situation, perhaps they can offer you some resources that may be helpful.

Tippingpoint

AA is not a requirement for sobriety. The majority of people that quit drinking do so without the help of AA. You can do it too.

Check out some of the links that Dee posted above...there's all sorts of great help there for you.

Take responsibility for yourself. Do it for your kids.

FlyerFan

Yes, whatever method you find that works for you. You don't have to do AA, but you do need to make a plan and stick to it! I know it can be overwhelming and upsetting but think of your children.

changemyway

It has been a few hours now since my last drink.

Sometimes I just look at my kids and wonder how the heck I even managed this long. I didn't drink during my pregnancies, but went back to it right afterwards. With my second, I was literally miserable the entire time and counting the days until I could have a drink again. I don't know how I ever got through them waking every three hours for feedings, diaper changes, etc...I was functioning but not really there.

Well, I have some homework to do now. Thank you all, and thank you for the information you posted, Dee. I have horribly desperate moments, but when all is said and done, I think I can beat this.

chicory

Someone in Ohio is praying for you , and your little children.

dorito281211

Remember, this is the 21st century, so much is on the web. There are ALL kinds of meetings, chats, studies etc on the web you can do.

UofI2008

This is what I would do right here. Stop drinking and commit to it. Do it for your kids and most of all for your own well being.

CaiHong

Hi Changemyway,
I feel for your situation, the ideal would be time out to get your sobriety together,in lieu of that use the resources at hand.

it is difficult at the beginning,your life will be easier in the long run if you stay sober.

As I write this I!m thinking if I was in the same town I would love to help with the kids to help you in sobriety, I am sure there are others who feel like I do, you need to make yourself known to them

CaiHong

desertsong

If you're scared of the withdrawals, go to your doctor. Be brutally honest about your alcohol use. I did that, and my doc put me on meds for four days to help me through the worst of it. It helped soooo much, but that wasn't enough. I had to get into a program that would encourage me and give me accountability and keep me sober well after the physical withdrawal wore off. That was AA. I am not pushing AA on you, because I actually am using AA, AVRT, SR, and other methods that are helping tremendously. Day-to-day accountability and involvement are making the difference this time, after my trying to get sober three times over the past year. The past two relapses happened a week after I stopped drinking. I called the AA hotline in an alcoholic haze the last time, realizing that I couldn't do this on my own. Again, my point is NOT to push AA on you, but only to emphasize that you have to be proactive in your own recovery. To say, "I'm done - I'm not drinking anymore" is fine, but you have to have a plan afterwards. You have the right motivation and the right attitude .... the next step is to figure out how you're going to get there.

Motherhood is powerful inspiration. I'm with you there! I have two boys and they have witnessed things from their mother that they should never had had to do ... no child should have to see what my kids saw in their mother. I can't take it all back but I can give them a NEW mother and that's what I'm doing. They are in awe of the changes in me and to say they are pleased would be an understatement. You just take care of those babies of yours .... seek out help/accountability in whatever form feels good to you (AA, SMART Recovery, AVRT, counseling, etc.) and GO with it. You've taken the hardest step in admitting you have a problem and saying "I'm done." So proud of you.

I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. You will get there, and there is much support here. Keep on keepin' on. There is no better gift you can give to your family than your sobriety.