lillie6

My brother is an alcoholic. My parents always were enablers. He could never keep a job, as he always felt he was too intelligent for that job. He was very smart and was in radio at one time, but he always was putting others down. On looking back I see it was because of low self esteem. He was married but was violent to his wife and she divorced him. He moved in with my parents and took over. He lived off of them, but they always made excuses for him. He was abusive towards them and my family. He pushed my mother and father around physically and when I would come over, would throw me physically out of the house. He stole money from my father. He had girlfriends who wanted to help him but in the end they gave up. I tried to call social services to help my parents but they would not say he was a problem. My mother used to visit her sister out of state for a break. Eventually my father told her to stay there as he did not want he in the situation. My father did not want my family and I to come over as my brother was jealous of my sons and would get angry. When we did try to go in the house he would get violent and my father would be upset and ask us to leave. So all I could do was keep in touch with my Dad on the phone. The house was filthy and and eventually my Dad got sick and passed away. My brother called me the nite he was sick and said"The old man is dying you better call an ambulance. I did and my Dad passed 2 days later. My Mom made it to his deathbed. My brother wanted to stay in the house, but he had no job or income. My Moms sold the house and moved to her sisters. While she was selling the house and staying in it she made my brother move out. He slept in the garage and would stand out side the house threaghting her. . She had to call the police. When the house was sold he was homeless. Thru the nightmare of my Dads death. He threathend sucicide and the police were called as he said he would shoot himself with my Dads army rifle and if anyone came in he would kill them too. He called me for days saying this until I had to call the police. We were afraid of him , he would come to my house and scream and throw furniture around. After my Dad died my husband and I wanted nothing to do with him. I would hear from him occasionally when he called to shout and say he hated us. My mom passed away 6 years ago and I have not heard from him. People would tell me he was staying with friends in our old neighborhood. He always got someone to help him, especially, woman. He is 56 now and I just got a letter from an anonymous friend, who wants me to take him in. I have not seen him in 11 years. The friend said he has a major alcohol problem, has been homeless off and on and has been arrested for public drunkenness thru the years. He has tried suicide and will be homeless again soon. He says his health is failing and he is dying and needs his family to get him the help he needs. I don't know what to do, he is my brother. My husband and sons say no. I am not a wealthy person and with the economy we are struggling too. I would give him money if I could. I feel so guilty for not being there now. but I was before and begged him to get help. He is bipolar and has been on meds. So many people have tried to help him and he just keeps drinking and using others. Does anyone have any advice for me. I don't want to think of him living on the streets. I spoke to my doctor who said we should stay out of it and the county could take guardianship and get him the mental help he needs. He advised me not to get involved. I would like to hear from anyone else who has had this family problem. .

Anna

That's probably good advice. Hopefully your brother will make the decision to seek help for himself.

Have you considered AlAnon as a support for yourself? Also, we have a forum on this board for Friends & Families of Alcoholics.

bostonluv

You cannot take that on. It's too much work and you aren't qualified to do it. Please do not feel guilty over this. You just would be getting in way over your head. It's his life and he made the decisions. So...write back the friend and let him know you love your brother and will be praying for him but that is all you can do. Prayer is a wonderful thing. I believe in prayer as I will be praying for you today and another person on here who has also touched my heart.