ontherightpath

My sponsor suggested 90/90. I love her, however she isn't as technologically advanced as us, uh younger generations. Lol. She is totally old school. Anyways I have made 2 meetings in 4 days, but spend countless hours on sr, and reading tons of posts and relating or not relatin (same as in a meeting) I am currently reading beyond the influence, and I just bought another book on recovery. I am sleeping well, eating well and feeling good, aside from a bit of snappiness, I am taking it slow and steady. Here's the problem, when I take in too many meetings, it makes me want to drink. As does reading too many posts. I find I need to switch gears and check out the latest news headlines. I just wonder if anyone can relate to these feelings? It's like I start to take on others stressors and I am afraid of that. I know I need to work on me and I am new to the game again, so at meetings, I really don't want to talk much yet. Sometimes it's just too much.... How can I make that point with my sponsor, that I don't want to do 90/90, but just take it as I need it and prove there are other outlets? I actually heard the chair at my meeting today say: " ya know, there is chemo for cancer and then there is aa for us drunks, I don't believe there is another way out there to help us get and stay sober"...... I think my jaw hit the floor. There are other ways and there are plenty of people out there in sr land to attest to that. Thanks for reading...sarah

ontherightpath

Oh and let me add that I am not considering drinking today. Bring on day 5!!!

jocata

Balance is key for me. I have certain AA meetings that I love to go to and get much out of. I spend more time on here though. Luckily I have a sponser that understands that. He doesn't push tons of meetings, because I need to be with my family, run a business, exercise, you know, live life.

I posted earlier that I am starting to realize that I get more out of this site than I do at meetings. I'm not going to stop going to meetings or working the steps, but I am just striving for that balance in life.

Not always easy.

God bless.

keltie

Me! I relate...I got started in NA and was going great guns, then felt like I had to pull away a little cuz I was burning out. I know what you mean- talking about drugs/alcohol all the time can make you think about it all the time! Not good for obsessions...

I'm just mentally pulling back a bit and considering if I really want to continue going all out in NA. I will still do steps and stuff, but like jocata said, I needed more balance. I can't do recovery 24/7 or I'll burn out.

sugarbear1

I found an old school sponsor & together I committed to 3 meetings a week plus prayer, meditation, stepwork.... maybe find a sponsor who is AA & not rehab. AA never suggests 90/90 or there's no time for stepwork.....

Sapling

My sponsor never suggested how many meeting I had to go to....I went to at least 2 a day for 90 days...Sometimes 3...When I wasn't at meetings I studied the Big Book and started work on the steps......The reason I did this...Is because I knew I had to quit for good...And if working the steps was the program of recovery...I had to get that before I went back to where I was. I think the meetings just kept me safe...The steps kept me busy...And my Higher Power kept me sane. Anyhoo...I worked the steps in 90 days...Still live them...Still go to a lot of meetings...Not as much as early on...But I love going to them....It's just nice knowing I have the tools I need now to deal with life without drinking...No matter what's thrown at me.

Nirvana1

I had done what I thought was best for me and messed up too many times to justify it once again and not take my sponsors advice. My own beliefs, attitudes, and ideas got me into the rooms of AA, so I really needed to give up the notion that I had all the answers again after a couple weeks sober. Following my sponsor and other sober people almost exactly as they suggested has made my sobriety as easy as it can be for someone in my shoes. Trust me, there are a lot of suggestions to disagree with but the reality is a sponsor will suggest what is best for you, wether you like it or not.

delman877

Sorry to hear that you are having a issue with AA. I just started going myself and have gone to 3 meetings for 3 days, and so far so good. I was a little nervous and scared at first but maybe I suggest that maybe find another meeting.
One guy at a meeting told me that AA meetings are like dog crap, that they are on every corner.
I wish you luck.
Michael

instant

For around 90 days I was "obsessed" by the whole alcohol / recovery thing, it eased off into a much more relaxed frame of mind. Going with the flow but understanding you will be mentally driven for while yet may help.

Things will improve. There are many sober people on this site who have not been to a meeting. I read the Big Book, a few other books, and come here. It's been working for nearly 9 months now, and I love sobriety.

dorito281211

I have been sober one month today and haven't been to a f2f meeting yet! Everything I do is online, and I do 2 meetings a day if able but usually just one a day plus SR and I do a big book study via email as well. I am reading under the influence and have 24/7 sponsor. I think the key to sobriety is paying attention to your desires and KNOWING you cannot drink. Has worked for me so far. In fact, I think in some ways you get more honesty from people online vs f2f cause there is zero chance of running into them in your town or seeing them in an awkward moment.
Stick with what works for you!

Anna

I really believe you have to do what works for you.

I am also certain that balance is crucial for my recovery.

Lily

If it was a suggestion, do you have to do it? I too would have a hard time doing 90 in 90, I had a small child. I have been doing telephone meetings, online, f2f and SR.

You really have to do what works for you.

FlyerFan

They reccomended 90/90 to me as well but i just cant do that with work and college on my plate. So i made a promise to myself to make 3 meetings a week at the very least.

mamasage

I can absolutely relate, Sarah. I'm new too...I've been involved with AA for 4 months now. There is no way I can be ANYWHERE 90 times in 90 days with my schedule & marvel at people who do 90/90, so I try to make it to a minimum of 3 per week like FlyerFan & then also make time for reading, talking to friends in the program, going on here, meditative writing, etc. I agree that sometimes hearing/talking about drinking too much fuels the flame of desire. What works for one person doesn't necessarily fit another. And technology does change things. Sometimes I'd like to go to a meeting but need to be home with my son, and sites like this are a great alternative. This is your recovery so while it's wise to listen to others, do what's right for you.
Maybe you could make a list of ALL of the ways you focus on your recovery and present it to your sponsor when you explain your feelings about meeting overload? Think of EVERYTHING you do that contributes even if it might seem out of the box to some. For example, I have an active yoga practice and it covers all sorts of physical, mental, & spiritual areas for me, and is a critical part of my recovery. But many people don't get that the more I'm on my mat, the less I'm potentially near a drink. If you do anything regularly that's like that - whether it's a physical activity or art or public activities or whatever you may do - maybe point that out too?
I hope this helps in some way.