Krystal32

Well, my fiance has been in rehab for 3 weeks now and things are going well. I am able to speak to him on the phone and the complaints about wanting to come home have stopped, they actually stopped almost 2 weeks ago and he has sounded so positive about things. He sounds very clear headed and he's really embracing his treatment. I haven't asked him a million questions and he actually told me that he wants to share everything about his recovery with me. He has a journal that he's writing in everyday and he says he can't wait to share it with me. He says he wants me to very much be involved in his recovery. I know its completely up to him to maintain his sobriety and work his program but it is nice to know that he wants to share it with me. I know 3 weeks isn't very long but he has made some good progress. He just sounds genuinely happy and its a change of pace cause I've never heard him like this before. That being said.....

I've also made a good amount of progress myself. I was just sharing with a friend through an email how much my mindset has changed and it was like it all hit me at once as I was writing to her. Yes, I know the real challenge begins when he gets out and is home. But what I have fully come to understand and accept is that things could very well go back to the way they were and if that happens I am totally prepared to pull myself and my children out of the situation. I refuse to expose them to that type of lifestyle and I know I have to be strong for them and get them out of any dangerous situations. I hate that I kept my son around it for as long as I did but now my head is clear, its not clouded by my fiances addiction. My codependency was at its peak before he went into rehab but once I got that space and I joined SR and I've read all the stories and experiences and all the stickies on codependency, and shared my story, I have been able to take a step back and really see things more clearly. I know I still have a lot of work to do on myself but I feel like I have made a lot of progress and this site had been a tremendous amount of help. Thank you everyone that has lent support and shared their experiences with me. I am very grateful to all of you. As of right now I am making the choice to support my fiance but it helps to know that I am able to do it in a healthy way and it helps to know that I now have the strength to detach and remove myself and my children. Thank you all again

Freedom1990

Thanks for the update, and it's great to hear that you are working on you.

Sending hugs of support.

Krystal32

Haha, its ok anvilhead, when I read that I was like "what"? But good analogy