here I am again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: St Louis Missouri
Posts: 71
here I am again
I screwed up again. Back to day 1. Coping with the loss of my son with alcohol is just not working, it's making it worse. He's been gone a month now and the pain is unbearable, I walk around in a daze, and can't wait till I can go out and buy beer. Im sick this morning and depressed that I gave in again. What a flippin nightmare.
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
Welcome back ,
As jocta said, we are here for you keep using this site as a release and support. I also couldnt imagine your lose. My prayers are with you.
Good love, Inda
As jocta said, we are here for you keep using this site as a release and support. I also couldnt imagine your lose. My prayers are with you.
Good love, Inda
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: St Louis Missouri
Posts: 71
thank you, I am going to attend grief counselling soon. I have some awsome friends who are there for me as well. And I have my son and grandson that give me a reason to get out of bed and go to work. Keeping busy seems better than over thinking everything. If I can save myself from self destruction with drinking then I will be able to be the best I can be for them. All I ever wanted in my life was to have a family and be a mommy, and now a grandma. I will keep posting, and thanks again for your hugs.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: New York
Posts: 5
Hey man, stay strong. I know its hard now, but its ok, just start up again from day 1 and go strong. I can't even begin to imagine the hardships you're dealing with but I'm sure you can find the strength and courage to overcome them. God bless, you can do it.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,369
hey CF
I don't know what it's like to lose a son - I'm not a parent.
But although it's not the same thing, I do know what it's like to lose yourself in grief - I lost 2 years of my life to grief over the breakup of my engagement.
I drank and got stoned every day in that period - it didnt help my grief grow any less, it didn't help me deal with anything, and it stopped me from moving on.
You're right it doesn't help and you need to stop abusing yourself - you're worth more than this - and your little grandchild needs you now more than ever.
You need some help to get through this. I eventually found some.
I hope you will start your grief counselling as soon as you can and I hope you'll look at support for your drinking too - I think thats the way forward, CF.
D
I don't know what it's like to lose a son - I'm not a parent.
But although it's not the same thing, I do know what it's like to lose yourself in grief - I lost 2 years of my life to grief over the breakup of my engagement.
I drank and got stoned every day in that period - it didnt help my grief grow any less, it didn't help me deal with anything, and it stopped me from moving on.
You're right it doesn't help and you need to stop abusing yourself - you're worth more than this - and your little grandchild needs you now more than ever.
You need some help to get through this. I eventually found some.
I hope you will start your grief counselling as soon as you can and I hope you'll look at support for your drinking too - I think thats the way forward, CF.
D
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: IL now
Posts: 218
Hey CF, I'm in St Louis for now too... have you been to some of the meetings around here? Lots of good people for sure.. send me a PM if you need some pointers.. I help run a meeting downtown at lunch sometimes..
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