21 days, why now am I struggling??
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Oslo, Norway
Posts: 147
21 days, why now am I struggling??
Now on day 21 and have been doing so well, I've battled temptation so successfully so far I thought I was over the worst (silly i know)... NOW it's saturday night and I'm looking for something to do, I CANNOT stop thinking about drink, and keep thinking one wouldn't hurt. I KNOW THIS IS BAD but it is so tempting tonight. Need distraction, help!!!!!!!!!
Choosing Life
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 1,435
Hang in there, Marius. I'm on Day 22 myself and this is about where I relapsed the last two times. Like you, I had no problem staying sober during the first couple of weeks because the humiliation and disgust over my last bender was more than enough to keep me on the straight and narrow. The memory is still there but it's weakening, and now I'm also finding myself with the urge to drink. I don't think what you're feeling is unusual at all.
What's helping me is keeping my head busy. When I start to get those thoughts, I realize that's my alcoholic voice talking to me ... not ME thinking those thoughts. I take a deep breath, say out loud "STOP!" and then find something else to do, whether it's take out the trash, get my head into a book, writing in my journal, exercising, etc. When those thoughts come, I tell myself, "Okay, I'm going to do something else (besides taking a drink) for 10 minutes." Then I find something to do. Sometimes the urge passes after 10 minutes. Sometimes it doesn't. Then I give myself another 10 minutes and find something else to occupy my time. I'm learning that staying sober isn't just a day by day thing ... it's often an hour by hour and even a minute by minute thing. After giving myself 10 minutes here, and 10 minutes there (sometimes for an hour or longer) and by diverting my energies into something positive, I find that the urge eventually does pass.
Are you working any kind of program? AA, AVRT, Smart, etc.? We will certainly support you here at SR but it helps to have a plan in place for times like these. I love AA and the daily accountability/encouragement I get there. It keeps me grounded and gives me the strength to keep going no matter what is happening around me.
Whatever you do ... please don't drink. You don't have to. You are stronger than you think. Don't give that voice in your head the victory. You've done very well so far and you can keep going. We are with you.
What's helping me is keeping my head busy. When I start to get those thoughts, I realize that's my alcoholic voice talking to me ... not ME thinking those thoughts. I take a deep breath, say out loud "STOP!" and then find something else to do, whether it's take out the trash, get my head into a book, writing in my journal, exercising, etc. When those thoughts come, I tell myself, "Okay, I'm going to do something else (besides taking a drink) for 10 minutes." Then I find something to do. Sometimes the urge passes after 10 minutes. Sometimes it doesn't. Then I give myself another 10 minutes and find something else to occupy my time. I'm learning that staying sober isn't just a day by day thing ... it's often an hour by hour and even a minute by minute thing. After giving myself 10 minutes here, and 10 minutes there (sometimes for an hour or longer) and by diverting my energies into something positive, I find that the urge eventually does pass.
Are you working any kind of program? AA, AVRT, Smart, etc.? We will certainly support you here at SR but it helps to have a plan in place for times like these. I love AA and the daily accountability/encouragement I get there. It keeps me grounded and gives me the strength to keep going no matter what is happening around me.
Whatever you do ... please don't drink. You don't have to. You are stronger than you think. Don't give that voice in your head the victory. You've done very well so far and you can keep going. We are with you.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Fairfax, VA
Posts: 3
If you can, go to a meeting or just hang out with other people in the program. Or else you can come here and hang out. Do something positive like working out, cleaning the apt. or reading some literature. Hang in there, It does get easier, one day at a time. You will think about drinking less and less but you have to reprogram your thinking by immersing yourself in AA and practicing the principles in all our affairs(unlike my wife).
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Oslo, Norway
Posts: 147
Thank you Desertsong for an insightful response. I get what you are saying about telling myself 'STOP' and that is what I shall do. Funnily enough I was just reading the ideas on here about what to do if bored, and I think I am going to cook and watch an old movie (I have the night to myself)
The temptation is worse then ever tonight and I have been very short-tempered today, it's freezing outside and snowing heavily so I don't want to go out but don't want to stay in. I think it's all got too much today because my partner (who has been so supportive) is going out with friends, drinking and having a good time, whilst I stay in, stuck in my own thoughts.
I have taken on-board what you wrote and I WILL NOT DRINK. I haven't got any support program, but now may be the time to look into it, I don't live in the US but there are still plenty of options to look into here in Norway, I think I thought I was strong enough to deal with this alone (I never go to doctors until the very last minute if possible).
One think that helped greatly was reading posts on here, it's full of so much encouragement and stories that I can identify with so closely, without it I wouldn't have lasted!
Thank you all, and I will do all I can not to give in!
The temptation is worse then ever tonight and I have been very short-tempered today, it's freezing outside and snowing heavily so I don't want to go out but don't want to stay in. I think it's all got too much today because my partner (who has been so supportive) is going out with friends, drinking and having a good time, whilst I stay in, stuck in my own thoughts.
I have taken on-board what you wrote and I WILL NOT DRINK. I haven't got any support program, but now may be the time to look into it, I don't live in the US but there are still plenty of options to look into here in Norway, I think I thought I was strong enough to deal with this alone (I never go to doctors until the very last minute if possible).
One think that helped greatly was reading posts on here, it's full of so much encouragement and stories that I can identify with so closely, without it I wouldn't have lasted!
Thank you all, and I will do all I can not to give in!
JUST DO IT!!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Here Or There
Posts: 7,612
One thing I learned is when I get those thoughts, I need to do something different than what I am doing at the moment. If I keep feeding the thoughts they will get me drunk. Sometimes I would maybe go out for a little walk, or color, maybe read. I had to change the action that I was doing at the moment into something else and of course pray pray pray,....
You are getting close to that 1 month too. Usually anniversaries are hard to get through as well. You will be OK just don't pick up a drink!
You are getting close to that 1 month too. Usually anniversaries are hard to get through as well. You will be OK just don't pick up a drink!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Oslo, Norway
Posts: 147
This is what is so great about this place, an hour or 2 of temptation has been lessened by your support and I can't thank you enough.
It will soon be a month quitting and I am going to reward that milestone buy buying a new iPhone. (my last one was lost in a terrible drunken night out last year). Another major help was that I have just spoken to my mum back in England and we chatted, calmly and with no distraction, she doesn't know the full extent of my problem but was so happy to hear from me on a Saturday night sounding normal, that really made me realise I know I'm doing the right thing by quitting,
I won't drink, and neither will you lot OK!
Respect and thanks to you
It will soon be a month quitting and I am going to reward that milestone buy buying a new iPhone. (my last one was lost in a terrible drunken night out last year). Another major help was that I have just spoken to my mum back in England and we chatted, calmly and with no distraction, she doesn't know the full extent of my problem but was so happy to hear from me on a Saturday night sounding normal, that really made me realise I know I'm doing the right thing by quitting,
I won't drink, and neither will you lot OK!
Respect and thanks to you
JUST DO IT!!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Here Or There
Posts: 7,612
Originally Posted by Marius76 
This is what is so great about this place, an hour or 2 of temptation has been lessened by your support and I can't thank you enough.
Respect and thanks to you
Respect and thanks to you
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Oslo, Norway
Posts: 147
Just watched an old film from the 70's, ate too many chips and ice cream, if I was to drink now I'd really be sick, that's one way to stop drinking!
Thank you guys for your help though, it means a lot.
Thank you guys for your help though, it means a lot.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,308
Good on you Marius,
It does get easier and well worth it. You did the right thing by coming online and posting about your cravings. Support is very important in the early days get as much as you can. I go to meetings.
all the best
CaiHong
It does get easier and well worth it. You did the right thing by coming online and posting about your cravings. Support is very important in the early days get as much as you can. I go to meetings.
all the best
CaiHong
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Newburgh
Posts: 868
Hang in there Marius! We all get those cravings from time to time. Very smart move coming on here and talking about it. It does take the power away just getting it out.
Maybe try AA. We need all the weapons we can get.
God bless.
Maybe try AA. We need all the weapons we can get.
God bless.
JUST DO IT!!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Here Or There
Posts: 7,612
Originally Posted by Marius76
Just watched an old film from the 70's, ate too many chips and ice cream, if I was to drink now I'd really be sick, that's one way to stop drinking!
Thank you guys for your help though, it means a lot.
Thank you guys for your help though, it means a lot.
only thing is that Chance likes them too LOL :rotfxko
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,557
Proud of you Marius. I found that the temptations became less & less. It's still early days for you & naturally you're still getting used to being without your crutch. Congratulations - you're doing this thing.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 57
Originally Posted by Marius76
Just watched an old film from the 70's, ate too many chips and ice cream, if I was to drink now I'd really be sick, that's one way to stop drinking!
Thank you guys for your help though, it means a lot.
Thank you guys for your help though, it means a lot.
healthier than drinking
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
The easy answer is.. "it has only been 21 days" However, while still 'new' to this, you've got some serious time, a few weekends, lots of evenings, and hours behind you where you chose to live sober. Reflect on those choices and feel proud of yourself! The more they add up, the easier it is, I promise.
However, while still 'new' to this, you've got some serious time, a few weekends, lots of evenings, and hours behind you where you chose to live sober. Reflect on those choices and feel proud of yourself! The more they add up, the easier it is, I promise.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Oslo, Norway
Posts: 147
Well thanks to you lot I resisted and am now fresh and ready for day 22! The sun is out and I'm gonna do something nice out there,
Thanks flutter and Hevyn, it's only my 3rd sober weekend so I'm sure it'll get easier, it has to!
Wino 5 & Chance, very true, does that mean I can have ice cream for breakfast now!?
Thanks flutter and Hevyn, it's only my 3rd sober weekend so I'm sure it'll get easier, it has to!
Wino 5 & Chance, very true, does that mean I can have ice cream for breakfast now!?
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