needing hope
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Stuart, Iowa
Posts: 2
needing hope
I am hoping to find support on this site. My story is the same as so many.
I am a 40yr old single mother of 2, my son 19 is where my drama and concerns are.
My parents are alcoholics, my son's father is an alcoholic, my son's father's parents are alcoholics.
My son has been drinking since he was 13. Smoking pot started around the same time. I have tried counseling and treatments over the yrs and still he thinks he controls it. In the last year when he is drunk he rages at me. He wants to fight me, and has punched me once in the face. He before Christmas was very drunk @ 8am in the morning went into a elementary school is sister 10yrs old attends because she had a class play. He was loud and out of control punching walls but thank the Lord did not come into the room the play was in. After leaving there he came after me at my home very raged and I had to call the police. He stayed in Jail for 3 days.
He drank last saturday and I called the police on him again now he has been in jail since Tuesday for probation violation.
I am trying hard to help him, but feel because he blacks out and does not remember any of his actions he is not understand how dangerous he is to himself and others. I love him so very much and know he is lost. How do I help him see?
hope40
I am a 40yr old single mother of 2, my son 19 is where my drama and concerns are.
My parents are alcoholics, my son's father is an alcoholic, my son's father's parents are alcoholics.
My son has been drinking since he was 13. Smoking pot started around the same time. I have tried counseling and treatments over the yrs and still he thinks he controls it. In the last year when he is drunk he rages at me. He wants to fight me, and has punched me once in the face. He before Christmas was very drunk @ 8am in the morning went into a elementary school is sister 10yrs old attends because she had a class play. He was loud and out of control punching walls but thank the Lord did not come into the room the play was in. After leaving there he came after me at my home very raged and I had to call the police. He stayed in Jail for 3 days.
He drank last saturday and I called the police on him again now he has been in jail since Tuesday for probation violation.
I am trying hard to help him, but feel because he blacks out and does not remember any of his actions he is not understand how dangerous he is to himself and others. I love him so very much and know he is lost. How do I help him see?
hope40
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: North FLA
Posts: 115
Originally Posted by hope40 
I am hoping to find support on this site. My story is the same as so many.
I am a 40yr old single mother of 2, my son 19 is where my drama and concerns are.
My parents are alcoholics, my son's father is an alcoholic, my son's father's parents are alcoholics.
My son has been drinking since he was 13. Smoking pot started around the same time. I have tried counseling and treatments over the yrs and still he thinks he controls it. In the last year when he is drunk he rages at me. He wants to fight me, and has punched me once in the face. He before Christmas was very drunk @ 8am in the morning went into a elementary school is sister 10yrs old attends because she had a class play. He was loud and out of control punching walls but thank the Lord did not come into the room the play was in. After leaving there he came after me at my home very raged and I had to call the police. He stayed in Jail for 3 days.
He drank last saturday and I called the police on him again now he has been in jail since Tuesday for probation violation.
I am trying hard to help him, but feel because he blacks out and does not remember any of his actions he is not understand how dangerous he is to himself and others. I love him so very much and know he is lost. How do I help him see?
hope40
I am a 40yr old single mother of 2, my son 19 is where my drama and concerns are.
My parents are alcoholics, my son's father is an alcoholic, my son's father's parents are alcoholics.
My son has been drinking since he was 13. Smoking pot started around the same time. I have tried counseling and treatments over the yrs and still he thinks he controls it. In the last year when he is drunk he rages at me. He wants to fight me, and has punched me once in the face. He before Christmas was very drunk @ 8am in the morning went into a elementary school is sister 10yrs old attends because she had a class play. He was loud and out of control punching walls but thank the Lord did not come into the room the play was in. After leaving there he came after me at my home very raged and I had to call the police. He stayed in Jail for 3 days.
He drank last saturday and I called the police on him again now he has been in jail since Tuesday for probation violation.
I am trying hard to help him, but feel because he blacks out and does not remember any of his actions he is not understand how dangerous he is to himself and others. I love him so very much and know he is lost. How do I help him see?
hope40
You're not alone in this and I hope that you find strength and comfort on this forum. I have.
I'm available if you want to DM. Stay strong.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Newburgh
Posts: 868
Welcome Hope. I'm so sorry you are in this situation. Can't imagine how tough it must be. For me, I didn't want to get sober until I realized how out of control and miserable I was. It seems to be that way for alot of us. Until the pain got so unbearable, I just kept drinking and using drugs. He looks like he is very far into his addiction at a very young age, and this may sound bad, it may actually be a good thing for him. He may be close to that point of emotional turmoil where he wants to change, but doesn't know how to. All he knows is to cover up that pain with more alcohol and drugs. That the way it was for me. Couldn't live with it, couldn't live without it. It's both a bad thing and a good thing, looking back on it. It can be the motivator for positive change.
He has to recognize this though to really want to change. Don't enable him. It's hard for a parent not to, but it will do more harm than good.
Maybe try an intervention. Present him with the evidence of how bad it really is. If your a praying person, pray that he hits his emotional bottom. To me the most important bottom was the emotional. That's when I finally wanted to change.
Keep reading and posting. We are here for you and him, when he is ready.
God bless.
He has to recognize this though to really want to change. Don't enable him. It's hard for a parent not to, but it will do more harm than good.
Maybe try an intervention. Present him with the evidence of how bad it really is. If your a praying person, pray that he hits his emotional bottom. To me the most important bottom was the emotional. That's when I finally wanted to change.
Keep reading and posting. We are here for you and him, when he is ready.
God bless.
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