Reddox12

Hi All,

Someone from my fellowship recommended this website so I thought I'd give it a go. I wouldn't mind some advice if that's ok?

I'm coming up to 5 months sober so still very early on in my recovery. It has been a struggle but generally speaking I found once I actually surrended properly and started following all the suggestions and working the steps I've been a lot happier. I still have one problem, well I have many but the others I'm confident will work themselves out, yeah I have one problem that I just can't sort out in my head.

I have two friends (that don't use) that supported me throughout my time in rehab and afterwards. But I seem to be destroying the friendships even though I don't want to. I get insanelly jealous for no reason, paranoid, I'm nasty to them and I know I'm slowly pushing them away. I don't want to and I make amends everytime and when I think I've got a handle on it I just do something towards them that hurts them without even thinking about it. I love them both to bits, and I don't want to hurt them, let alone lose their friendships, but I continue to do so.

I really don't know what to do anymore, I can't lose their friendships but I seem to be killing it off without wanting to.

I'm not even sure if that makes sense, it's hard to explain.

Sapling

If you have done your third step...Put it to use.

mirage

Hi Reddox..welcome to SR! Glad you're here with us. I would maybe tell them what you just told us. That you're not trying to push them away or hurt them but for some reason you are. If you explain it that way and that it might have to do with your recovery right now, they'll understand it better. Be honest about it and I'm sure they'll respect that and it may even bring you closer. Good luck and congrats on 5 months!!

Dee74

I think mirages advice is great

welcome to SR redox - congrats on 5 months

D

2granddaughters

When we sober up, our other "defects and shortcomings" become a lot more evident.

I think God made it that way so it's easier to do our 4th ...... :-)

best wishes

Bob R


Are you in Gibraltar MI ??

Anna

I also think that I became more aware of my shortcomings and faults in early recovery. Use this experience as a chance to learn about yourself and to grow.