First time I've felt "whatever"
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Dublin
Posts: 90
First time I've felt "whatever"
Really feeling **** today, my memory is going to ruins since getting into recovery - even when I was loaded I never forgot things - daily things, easy things.
Raged at myself this morning. Left the house with my straightening irons on the bed plugged in and after dropping me to work my boyfriend has had to turn around in rush-hour traffic go back to the house so it doesnt burn down and I dont kill the dogs as a result which in turn will leave him late for work and for the 1st time in our relationship .. i got out of the car and walked off annoyed at myself and he just drove off not even saying anything to me ...
This has been happening for a few days now - stuff I would always do routinely I am forgetting to do and its so frustrating - should my memory not be better now that I am not adding chemicals into the mix??? I just feel "whatever - why am I bothering, I actually worked better when I was having a glass or 2 of wine in the evenings". Feel like going out tonight and getting out of my head drunk - maybe Ill remember to do simple stupid stuff tomorrow instead of screwing up
I'm sorry I know Ive no right to vent my self anger here it's just I feel I can't talk to anyone about this rage I have right now
Raged at myself this morning. Left the house with my straightening irons on the bed plugged in and after dropping me to work my boyfriend has had to turn around in rush-hour traffic go back to the house so it doesnt burn down and I dont kill the dogs as a result which in turn will leave him late for work and for the 1st time in our relationship .. i got out of the car and walked off annoyed at myself and he just drove off not even saying anything to me ...
This has been happening for a few days now - stuff I would always do routinely I am forgetting to do and its so frustrating - should my memory not be better now that I am not adding chemicals into the mix??? I just feel "whatever - why am I bothering, I actually worked better when I was having a glass or 2 of wine in the evenings". Feel like going out tonight and getting out of my head drunk - maybe Ill remember to do simple stupid stuff tomorrow instead of screwing up
I'm sorry I know Ive no right to vent my self anger here it's just I feel I can't talk to anyone about this rage I have right now
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
rage and forgetting stuff are very very common Isabella - try and see them as part of a natural process of renewal, tangible manifestations of your body and mind healing...
give it a little time and things will start to return to normal
D
give it a little time and things will start to return to normal
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Dublin
Posts: 90
Thanks Dee .. just worried now as its first time in recovery that I've seen how I could jeopardise my relationship and Im annoyed how it was something so very stupid ... a memory lapse that very well could and SHOULD have been avoided
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
I had to make a list and check it twice in early recovery for sure
Don't forget tho - everything did turn out ok
I was 'ill' for a long time - the convalescence took a while - now you're aware of it, you can plan for it
D
Don't forget tho - everything did turn out ok
I was 'ill' for a long time - the convalescence took a while - now you're aware of it, you can plan for it
D
Grateful AA member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: In the middle of the woods, NJ
Posts: 567
Dont beat yourself up it happens to all of us. I find that my memory is pretty bad and I am more of a klutz sober. I check appliances a few times before I leave the house. Once I had the kettle going to make a cup of tea and I had forgotten about it. By the time I realized it was on all of the water evaporated in the kettle and could of burned the house down. Sometimes our minds are so filled with thoughts we just forget things. Its a great thing you remembered when you left the house though.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: NH
Posts: 35
I'm gonna hit my 90day at the end of this month I know what your going threw, I forget things at work and it really P's me off because I know better I've been fighting it for some time but it gets better just play it out...........oh wait I forgot what we were talking about lol J/K. 
. It will get better give it a chance, and. Get that thought out of ur head about drinking the wine you don't need it.
. It will get better give it a chance, and. Get that thought out of ur head about drinking the wine you don't need it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Dublin
Posts: 90
Thanks Guys
Managed to pull my head out of depression-pit. Realised I'm human and will make mistakes whether I want to or not - until this haze lifts, Im gonna make a lil check list or double check things before leaving in the morning.
Needed to get the scalded-head look off me quick smart in work and found watching some comedy online for a little while helped ... so I'd like to share this feel good factor with you all ... his name's Rhod Gilbert he's welch and he's hilarious .. enjoy !!!
Rhod.Gilbert--- Luggage Deleted Scene - YouTube
PS: Im not gonna touch the vino .. I promise !!! xxx
Managed to pull my head out of depression-pit. Realised I'm human and will make mistakes whether I want to or not - until this haze lifts, Im gonna make a lil check list or double check things before leaving in the morning.
Needed to get the scalded-head look off me quick smart in work and found watching some comedy online for a little while helped ... so I'd like to share this feel good factor with you all ... his name's Rhod Gilbert he's welch and he's hilarious .. enjoy !!!
Rhod.Gilbert--- Luggage Deleted Scene - YouTube
PS: Im not gonna touch the vino .. I promise !!! xxx
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Newburgh
Posts: 868
Bella, I know exactly how you feel! I'm at 55 days and my brain is mush. It's very frustrating. Do some research on post acute withdrawal syndrome(PAWS).
Brain fog is pretty common for us in early recovery. Just hang in therre and don't beat yourself up.
I forgot my wife's name briefly the other night.
God bless.
Brain fog is pretty common for us in early recovery. Just hang in therre and don't beat yourself up.
I forgot my wife's name briefly the other night.
God bless.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 277
Isabella, Rage is my big problem, too .
On my 4th day, I was getting mad at minor things and was shouting at people for no valid reason. This is normal and is due to the fact that your brain chemistry is going through a transition period .
In such situation, I try to go for a long walk , switch of my wireless phone and get myself physically so much exhausted so that my brain's focus changes . It might work for you.
Regarding forgetting things, I have exactly opposite experience. After I stopped drinking, my memory is much better now. I remember where my car was parked in parking lot. I remember to pay bills on time. In fact, my laziness is almost gone and I keep looking for tasks to finish. Thanks to SR and all of you as I have stopped putting that poison in my body.
Isabella, keep at it, bear it for some more time and eventually, you will feel better. I am sure all our friends will agree to that. If good times did not last long, so would be the bad times . All the best
On my 4th day, I was getting mad at minor things and was shouting at people for no valid reason. This is normal and is due to the fact that your brain chemistry is going through a transition period .
In such situation, I try to go for a long walk , switch of my wireless phone and get myself physically so much exhausted so that my brain's focus changes . It might work for you.
Regarding forgetting things, I have exactly opposite experience. After I stopped drinking, my memory is much better now. I remember where my car was parked in parking lot. I remember to pay bills on time. In fact, my laziness is almost gone and I keep looking for tasks to finish. Thanks to SR and all of you as I have stopped putting that poison in my body.
Isabella, keep at it, bear it for some more time and eventually, you will feel better. I am sure all our friends will agree to that. If good times did not last long, so would be the bad times . All the best
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 277
Originally Posted by jocata 
Bella, I know exactly how you feel! I'm at 55 days and my brain is mush. It's very frustrating. Do some research on post acute withdrawal syndrome(PAWS).
Brain fog is pretty common for us in early recovery. Just hang in therre and don't beat yourself up.
I forgot my wife's name briefly the other night.
God bless.
Brain fog is pretty common for us in early recovery. Just hang in therre and don't beat yourself up.
I forgot my wife's name briefly the other night.
God bless.
That was the last time for sure. I forgot my wife's birthday once 20 years ago and never forgot every year after that 
Choosing Life
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 1,435
I'm so happy you didn't drink! Proud of you!
If it makes you feel any better, my brain is like oatmeal these days. Leave the house and forget my keys, forget where I parked my car, call people on the phone and can't remember who I called when they answer ... it goes on and on (and on and on ...). I also had the rage and the anger in the beginning. Mad at every little thing. Mad at the color of the paint in my bedroom. Mad that there was a dirty dish in the sink. Just MAD. Thank God, that part of it is gone now (I'm on day 20 today) and it didn't last long.
You'll feel better eventually, just remember this is part of the healing process and we all go through it. Again, I'm proud of you for not having a drink. Great job!
If it makes you feel any better, my brain is like oatmeal these days. Leave the house and forget my keys, forget where I parked my car, call people on the phone and can't remember who I called when they answer ... it goes on and on (and on and on ...). I also had the rage and the anger in the beginning. Mad at every little thing. Mad at the color of the paint in my bedroom. Mad that there was a dirty dish in the sink. Just MAD. Thank God, that part of it is gone now (I'm on day 20 today) and it didn't last long.
You'll feel better eventually, just remember this is part of the healing process and we all go through it. Again, I'm proud of you for not having a drink. Great job!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Newburgh
Posts: 868
Originally Posted by llastchance8
Jcoata,, Good to know that you are still alive after forgetting your wife's name That was the last time for sure. I forgot my wife's birthday once 20 years ago and never forgot every year after that
That was the last time for sure. I forgot my wife's birthday once 20 years ago and never forgot every year after that So good to know we are all together in this crazy stuff.
God bless.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Dublin
Posts: 90
haha - you all DO make me smile (",)
Feeling very proud of myself today as yesterday was an extremely "trying" day and as the stress levels rose, I kept in contact here on SR and by the time I went home the want and need I had to turn to alcohol left me ... I just kept thinking "yes you might want the drink but how much worse will you feel when you have it" that was more than enough for me to keep fighting through the day.
Today, I left for work and double checked I'd turned everything off and locked every door, which was then triple checked by my other half (",) he actually made a joke about it and off I went with a clear, peaceful, non hung-over mind to work.
This morning I am equally as tired as I have been and perhaps still a little fuzzy BUT I feel good ... Thanks yet again guyz ... u really are an amazing amazing support ... never forget that ... without SR I'd still be drunk xxx
Feeling very proud of myself today as yesterday was an extremely "trying" day and as the stress levels rose, I kept in contact here on SR and by the time I went home the want and need I had to turn to alcohol left me ... I just kept thinking "yes you might want the drink but how much worse will you feel when you have it" that was more than enough for me to keep fighting through the day.
Today, I left for work and double checked I'd turned everything off and locked every door, which was then triple checked by my other half (",) he actually made a joke about it and off I went with a clear, peaceful, non hung-over mind to work.
This morning I am equally as tired as I have been and perhaps still a little fuzzy BUT I feel good ... Thanks yet again guyz ... u really are an amazing amazing support ... never forget that ... without SR I'd still be drunk xxx
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,180
Hi Isabella
It's strange isn't it feeling so tired all the time. I just keep telling myself better to be just tired than hungover and tired :-)
Have you tried that AVRT -I've read a bit about it and am thinking of getting one of the books-it's supposed to help when you feel like you want a drink.
Anyway, hope you have a better day today.JHE.x
It's strange isn't it feeling so tired all the time. I just keep telling myself better to be just tired than hungover and tired :-)
Have you tried that AVRT -I've read a bit about it and am thinking of getting one of the books-it's supposed to help when you feel like you want a drink.
Anyway, hope you have a better day today.JHE.x
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Dublin
Posts: 90
Originally Posted by justhadenough
Hi Isabella
Have you tried that AVRT
Have you tried that AVRT
Yeah the tiredness is strange as I thought that I used to be tired because of the drink so to feel MORE tired without it is bizarre but it's all in the body's healing so they say
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Oslo, Norway
Posts: 147
Glad you are sounding happier and got through that bad day Isabella, funny though how I was under the illusion that I would suddenly have a clearer memory and be less tired once quitting the drink, and that hasn't been the case at all, it must be a gradual thing and we'll get there, the plusses out weigh the minusess already so I'm not complaining;-)
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Dublin
Posts: 90
True Marius ... we all seem to have been under the illusuion that with sobriety we'd have refreshed clear minds and body .. I guess it can't be that easy to restore all to proper working order or else alcoholism wouldnt be such a serious disease
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 4
Isabella, I honestly think you are just forgetting how much you did neglect and forget while drunk (otherwise you would probably not be here), and now you are attributing your forgetfulness to your sobriety because it's hard. Additionally, when you forgot and neglected things when you were drunk, you didn't care, because you were drunk. Now you care because you are sober and actually more clear minded.
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