I understand sobriety best when I wake up in the middle of the night
I understand sobriety best when I wake up in the middle of the night
I can't really explain this. When I wake up in the middle of the night, and get up to adjust the thermostat, or to use the restroom or whatever, sobriety just makes so much sense. I think about my family, my job, my health. Drinking and using drugs just seems so stupid. It's so incredibly clear.
Can anyone else relate to this?
When I wake up later to go to the work in the morning, there is less clarity. And then when I'm at work, or on my lunch break, or back home after work, or off work on the weekend, there is a lot more ambiguity.
But when I wake up in the middle of the night, there is no ambiguity whatsoever. I never want to use again, and can't comprehend why I would ever want to.
Can anyone else relate to this?
When I wake up later to go to the work in the morning, there is less clarity. And then when I'm at work, or on my lunch break, or back home after work, or off work on the weekend, there is a lot more ambiguity.
But when I wake up in the middle of the night, there is no ambiguity whatsoever. I never want to use again, and can't comprehend why I would ever want to.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,180
I can sort of relate to you. When I wake in the night (which isn't as often now!) I feel more clear headed in the night than I ever have done. I have no headache, no nausea, no dizziness. I like it! Maybe things seem clearer in the night as your mind has been resting and not thinking as you do during the day. As the day goes on it processes many many things.
I can relate as I think it has to do with, for me, the fact that I am not stumbling,mor scratching my head as to what happened in the hours leading up to my mid slumber disturbance. I want to pat myself on the back at 3 am, but sometimes at 3 pm, I am fighting with myself for a drink. I suppose it's just the. Aural progression, but dealing with everything sober has to be the best way. Congrats on choosing sobriety!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New York
Posts: 186
Vigo I completely understand. I used to say in the months and years leading up to now that I wish I could replay those thoughts from 4am at 5 in the evening when I think about drinking. It's very clear to me too in the middle of the night. Maybe my family seems so young and vulnerable then and I want to do the best I can for them. I'm not 100% sure why; maybe you should try and blog then or jot down your thoughts.
Good luck with your goals they are obtainable!
Good luck with your goals they are obtainable!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Midwest
Posts: 450
I can agree with you but for a slightly different reason. Now I get up in the middle of the night to do something normal - as you said, thermostat/bathroom/etc. It used to be that I would get up to: drink more shots, puke, run to the window and see if my car is there or see how crooked it's parked, or if it's a "work night"...chug water from the bathroom sink to avoid the unavoidable hangover. It's just a lot more comforting to do something normal.
Wow! Today the thermostat is (remembered) set before bed and I rarely need to get (stumble) to the bathroom! Now that's a change!!
I do understand you,, though. I used to toss & turn all night, always something on my mind.... I sleep well each night.
I value each second of breath I take! Everything is beautiful.
I do understand you,, though. I used to toss & turn all night, always something on my mind.... I sleep well each night.
I value each second of breath I take! Everything is beautiful.
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