KellyToronto

I have a good friend in AA.

On April 19, he will have 1 year of sobriety - yay!

But, he smoked marijuana twice at Christmas time.

A mutual AA friend of ours told me that she believes "he is not sober", "he relapsed", he does not deserve a 1 year medallion in AA on April 19.

My question is: Since marijuana is NOT alcohol (obviously!), has he in fact stayed sober, in terms of AA, and does he still deserve to get his AA 1 year medallion on April 19.

Thanks for your comments,

Kelly

pangur

Is he staying sober for his own welfare or a piece of metal?

Sorry, I'm new to all this, but this is an addiction forum, it sounds like his addiction is alcohol. I can smoke pot every once in a while, leave it for years at a time, no problem, booze is the issue for me. If this guy is the same, no biggie in my eyes.

suki44883

I think everyone should mind their own recovery and allow him to do the same. If HE feels he deserves the medallion, then that's his business. Everyone has an opinion, but in the end, HIS opinion about his own recovery is the only one that matters.

Ursula745

1. I say he deserves it. It's clean from alcohol.

2. Who cares? It's his he has to live with, no matter who thinks he deserves it. If he thinks he deserves and he's earned, ok. If he doesn't and he gets it, he has to live with it.

I say just congratulate him and move on. Only he knows if he's relapsed.

Freedom1990

Personally, my own beliefs, values, and morals would not allow me to accept a medallion if I had smoked pot.

I do agree 100% with what Suki said.

look4billw

Well here you go
Right on the chip it says = to thine own self be true.
With that type of rationale
A one year chip may seem suitable
On the other hand,so would a 75 year chip


Ask me how I really feel

Anna

I try to not judge other people's recovery.

It's not helpful to me.

sugarbear1

People who are serious know that any mind altering chemical would disqualify them from complete sobriety. Until all mind altering chemicals are stopped, one is not sober. That lie would kill me. It's a program of complete honesty. Not my problem today, just my opinion, I've been there. No more lies for this alcoholic. Alcoholism can present itself through the use of other substances. The definition of sober includes "alcohol and drugs." You see, I would be a tiny bit buzzed right now if I could consider myself sober, but I will be true to me today. I did the Once In A While Marijuana Maintenance Plan in my past; it led to more lies and back to alcohol after a long period of abstinance. You asked for opinions. Would I tell him this? A big "NOPE."

augustwest

I stay out of that stuff in the rooms, but if it was me I wouldn't pick up one year. my experience has been that the disease of addiction is way bigger than just alcohol. whenever I put any substance into my body its dangerous because it ignites the craving and obsession. whenever I did my non-doc thinking I could get away with it I always went back to what brought me down. this is because whenever I get buzzed at all I want more more more.

in my life I view using, and the desire to use as wanting to escape. the premise of recovery is not to escape, but to face life head on. the past had to be cleaned up and the present dealt with as it arises.

I don't judge others, but I cant think of any good reason for an alcoholic to be smoking pot, even occasionally. I think its dangerous and a potential reservation. I say this as someone who has done exactly what the person in the thread mentioned.

one of the things I love about NA is that the language is clear. we suffer from the disease of addiction. the program is about abstinence from drugs, and alcohol IS a drug. there's no way to justify using, ore picking up a coin under such pretenses unless you are delusional, or a liar.

pangur

And now folks, it's late in my part of the world, I'm off to an alcoholic's insomniac night's of tossing and turning. However, I'm "chomping at the bit", for the shitstorm this discussion will raise. When you all get bored of fighting, I suggest some breakfast ideas for me. Since I stopped drinking, I'm ravenous.


Thanks in advance.
Pangur
P.S. I'm right

langkah

Guys like this often just want the high drama of getting honest later on and making a big production of adjusting their sobriety date, as if anyone cares.

Or he'll get thirsty some evening when he's loaded and maybe get it right the next time around.

pangur

Augustwest, I'm just about to go to bed, so sorry if this sounds bad. I'm not trying to vilify what you said. I agree 100% that if you have a problem with something, don't do it. A couple of hits from a bong? We're all different, whatever turns you on. I can honestly say, and coming from me that's asking a lot, but I can honestly say, I have no desire to smoke maryjane to the same extent that I want to drink tea/coffee/cola/horlicks/milk/ginger ale. It just doesn't push my buttons. Yes, I enjoy it, but in the same way. I feel no need to do it later.
A shot of Jameson... oh dear!

sugarbear1

he has to deal with himself & his higher power. as for arguing, I strongly suggest some people to 4th step their own motives, in my opinion. I ceased fighting others for now...

It's still January, you "assume" he will not drink between now and April.....

krimpoo

this is the issue with aa and some of its fanatical followers for me and why it is not for me. booze aint' weed and weed aint' booze. One does not affect the other,for me,and obviously your friend.weed is not addictive...it can be habitual.if you don't know the difference look up the medical terms.before you call me a smoker and defender i do not smoke weed but have in the past.


my problem is alcohol,pure and simple.


tell your friend she/he is doing an amazing job with his/her alcohol problem and smoke a joint with him/her if you feel that's appropriate.

Tommy2

Pick up a one year chip...who cares!!! Like someone else said, is he doing it for a chip or himself??? If alcohol was causing him problems and he's abstained for a year, that's freaking awesome and I don't think he needs a chip or anyone, for that matter, to solidify his accomplishment.

Personally, alcohol's my problem...I could smoke a joint and not think about another for years...marajuana is not a problem for me. If he doesn't have a problem with marajuana, who cares if he smoke a joint a month ago.

flamingredhair

The reason for this thread was to ask for opinions so this is mine.

Seems to me people should worry about themselves and their own recovery and not be so quick to judge others.

The sometimes self-righteousness and gossipy nature of AA doesn't set well with me. (Boldface, to indicate I do not wish to generalize.)

KellyToronto

I will not mention this to my friend - it is his decision.

I only know that our mutual friend, who believes he is not sober, plans to boycott his 1 year medallion - she will not attend. She thinks his 1 year medallion is a farce, a total farce.

Thanks again.

Kelly

(I myself WILL attend his 1 year medallion.)

Itchy

On the other hand, I have five more fingers.

IndaMiricale

I just ditto suki, freedom, and sugar. His choice, myself couldnt live with it.

Rigerous honesty but what ever he does doesnt effect me so what ever.

Love it itchy.

Good love, Inda

Ranger

Hey KT, not to derail your thread, but I want to hear about your one-year.