Innerchild

I forced myself to sit at my laptop last night without an internet connection so I couldnt get on facebook or this site and just write. I wrote a page and a half in an hour and a half. I so far have thirty pages of my memoir which id like to make it my goal to spend a few hours a day writing. Those hours can be replaced by the hours I spent boozing it up accomplishing nothing.

While discussing growing up with parents who partied hard on the weekends a lot of feelings are coming up especially anger towards my mother or the same emotions I felt as a child I numbed with alcohol today. I am getting through it instead of trying to escape these feelings.

I read some of it to my boyfriend who started crying and told me Id make a lot of me cry when reading this. Good, at least it has some effect on people lol.

augustwest

good! I had to deal with those unresolved feelings before I could get any kind of emotional sobriety. I drank and used because of my feelings. it was my only coping skill. identifying those things and applying some forgiveness was a real breakthrough for me.

Threshold

I write too. I find words and word choice very important to me. I think in words,more than in images, and the words I choose have a very powerful effect on how I think.

If I were expressing what I believe you are expressing, I would phrase it this way. ( I am NOT suggesting your phrasing is incorrect, just thinking out loud)

It was not my feelings that pushed me to use, it was my unwillingness to feel them that led to my choosing to use.

I chose using over feeling.

onlythetruth

I found that I needed a little bit of time after I quit drinking before I was able to tackle my family issues. At the beginning I just didn't have the emotional strength for it. I started working with a therapist at about 9 months--best thing I ever did, but I couldn't have done the work right away.

Just my two cents, not saying it has to be like this for you.

Anna

I think it's a great idea to write in order to clarify your feelings.

I don't write regularly, but it helped me at various times, particularly when dealing with my feelings of anger when I stopped drinking.