Scared.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 36
Scared.
I'm a woman in recovery of alcoholism, and I'm in a relationship with an amazing man who is also in AA. He is still clean & sober, but is very depressed. He has about 8 months clean, and lately has been not wanting to go to meetings, just tired, unmotivated, etc. He says he is not having using thoughts, but I know FIRST HAND that depression, not going to meetings or staying connected can lead to using.
On top of this, I recently found out over the last month that my dad is drinking/using pills again.
Overall, I am doing well. I've been getting to more meetings, helping others, working steps, PRAYING, and I'm going to my first Al-Anon meeting this Sunday.
But,
I AM SO SCARED.
I'm scared for my boyfriend. We have had an amazing relationship, but his depression/lack of being IN recovery, has had an effect on me. We are living together, and he knows if he uses he can't live here. Also, we've had conversations about "what if either of us relapses?" - we decided if it's a one-time slip up, and said person gets right back on track/putting action it, etc, then we can work on staying together, if it is continuous use, with no action to get clean & sober again, then we couldn't be together.
We are in love and care for each other so much. It's so hard to see him depressed and not his usual self. I still love spending time with him, but i'm terrified for him.
I had a temp-sponsee come over yesterday to read the Big Book and my bf read with us, discussed it with us, and went to a meeting with us after.
But tonight, he slept instead of going to a meeting with me, which seems to be the usual routine.
I've struggled with depression a lot of my life and am now on medication that works for me, and with that, therapy, and AA & staying sober, I am WELL
He says he is willing to go to therapy, take depression meds, but I have not seen much action towards getting this help. I was asking him about it for a while, but this week realized that bugging him and pushing him IS NOT GOING TO MAKE HIM DO ANYTHING.
Ugh.
Had to vent.
As for my dad, I had a talk with him about his depression/using, not bombarding him but trying to talk to him as a fellow addict/alcoholic, but I don't see it helping much either.
I try to LET IT GO, GIVE IT TO GOD, etc.
Pray, pray pray.
It's still hard though...
Thanks for reading
On top of this, I recently found out over the last month that my dad is drinking/using pills again.
Overall, I am doing well. I've been getting to more meetings, helping others, working steps, PRAYING, and I'm going to my first Al-Anon meeting this Sunday.
But,
I AM SO SCARED.
I'm scared for my boyfriend. We have had an amazing relationship, but his depression/lack of being IN recovery, has had an effect on me. We are living together, and he knows if he uses he can't live here. Also, we've had conversations about "what if either of us relapses?" - we decided if it's a one-time slip up, and said person gets right back on track/putting action it, etc, then we can work on staying together, if it is continuous use, with no action to get clean & sober again, then we couldn't be together.
We are in love and care for each other so much. It's so hard to see him depressed and not his usual self. I still love spending time with him, but i'm terrified for him.
I had a temp-sponsee come over yesterday to read the Big Book and my bf read with us, discussed it with us, and went to a meeting with us after.
But tonight, he slept instead of going to a meeting with me, which seems to be the usual routine.I've struggled with depression a lot of my life and am now on medication that works for me, and with that, therapy, and AA & staying sober, I am WELL
He says he is willing to go to therapy, take depression meds, but I have not seen much action towards getting this help. I was asking him about it for a while, but this week realized that bugging him and pushing him IS NOT GOING TO MAKE HIM DO ANYTHING.
Ugh.
Had to vent.
As for my dad, I had a talk with him about his depression/using, not bombarding him but trying to talk to him as a fellow addict/alcoholic, but I don't see it helping much either.
I try to LET IT GO, GIVE IT TO GOD, etc.
Pray, pray pray.
It's still hard though...
Thanks for reading
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Bella, you keep doing what you are doing for your own recovery.
I have a new sponsee, and I'm busy taking her to meetings, and we talk a lot. She's good medicine for me. I don't know how much I am helping her, but she certainly is helping me stay sober.
I've learned over the years as long as I keep my own recovery my top priority, I will be okay. Things may not turn out the way I want them to, but I will be okay.
You will be okay too! Sending you hugs of support!
I have a new sponsee, and I'm busy taking her to meetings, and we talk a lot. She's good medicine for me. I don't know how much I am helping her, but she certainly is helping me stay sober.
I've learned over the years as long as I keep my own recovery my top priority, I will be okay. Things may not turn out the way I want them to, but I will be okay.
You will be okay too! Sending you hugs of support!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 36
Thank You
I feel SO, so grateful for where I am at with my recovery today. The spirit of the universe graced me with a newcomer to work with, and it has helped tremendously as well. I feel so juicy about recovery right now, which I haven't felt in a long time.
I wish I could sprinkle some recovery juice/love/inspiration all over him/them.
Wish it worked that way.
But, I am truly powerless over them....
(letgo)
I feel SO, so grateful for where I am at with my recovery today. The spirit of the universe graced me with a newcomer to work with, and it has helped tremendously as well. I feel so juicy about recovery right now, which I haven't felt in a long time.
I wish I could sprinkle some recovery juice/love/inspiration all over him/them.
Wish it worked that way.
But, I am truly powerless over them....
(letgo)
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Let go and let God.
I can share with you that I drank again after 4 years sober, and I thought I'd just "tie one on" once and hop right back into AA. That was my disease talking to me. I was out there "researching" for two months.
What led to my relapse? Many factors including no longer doing what had kept me sober in the past. The biggest factor? I had gotten involved with someone else in recovery, he relapsed, and I "thought" I could handle it. I went right down the drain with him.
It was not worth it, and I'm damned lucky I made it back to AA because many don't.
Take care of yourself. Hang onto that juicy feeling and inspiration for recovery, okay?
I can share with you that I drank again after 4 years sober, and I thought I'd just "tie one on" once and hop right back into AA. That was my disease talking to me. I was out there "researching" for two months.
What led to my relapse? Many factors including no longer doing what had kept me sober in the past. The biggest factor? I had gotten involved with someone else in recovery, he relapsed, and I "thought" I could handle it. I went right down the drain with him.
It was not worth it, and I'm damned lucky I made it back to AA because many don't.
Take care of yourself. Hang onto that juicy feeling and inspiration for recovery, okay?
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