finally understand detatchment
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: ann arbor, mi
Posts: 18
finally understand detatchment
Hi everyone its been a while. I just want to share my story of recovery and give others hope. It has been almost three months scince I went No Contact with my AXBF. At first I felt guilty and sad but the more time that passes the more i focus on taking care of me and living my own life to the fullest. And the happier I got. I have not felt this good on years! I know I cant change anybody and that having active addiction in my life makes me crazy. I try to control the addict. I think the no contact will help me to one day deal with active addiction and not be so affected by it. Until then I stay away. I will keep going to meetings and doing recovery reading, as I still have addiction in my life. My parents are alcoholics I recently realized. And i live with them. But that is another story. I am grateful for the good things in my life. I remain hopeful that my ex one day will stop shooting heroin. It's a pain that will always be in my heart but I will no longer allow it to rule my life. I have moved on. I hope others in his life follow my example and quit enabling. When I think back to how crazy I was a year ago, or even four moths ago, I am so glad I found support thru here and nar anon groups. This is the longest I have ever gone without contacting him and I am proud. I wonder like crazy what's going on with him but I dare not ask anybody. If something really bad happens I will hear about it soon enough. thank you for everything my recovery family!!! Xoxoxoxo
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 35
It is good to hear your story!
Sometimes I think people get offended when they are told to RUN before they get married or have children with an addict but it is important that people understand that once you have a child with someone, you have a connection to that person for 18 years. There is no running away from that tie.
I am always encouraged to read a story like yours where you realized what was going on before there was a child/children involved. Stay strong. now you recognize the flags to look for and when you a ready for a new relationship, you will know how to make it a healthy one. HUGS!!!!
Sometimes I think people get offended when they are told to RUN before they get married or have children with an addict but it is important that people understand that once you have a child with someone, you have a connection to that person for 18 years. There is no running away from that tie.
I am always encouraged to read a story like yours where you realized what was going on before there was a child/children involved. Stay strong. now you recognize the flags to look for and when you a ready for a new relationship, you will know how to make it a healthy one. HUGS!!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: ann arbor, mi
Posts: 18
Oops its only been two months scince going no contact. Who's counting? :-)'. Yesterday was two months exactly and a court case for all the $ he owes. He no showed. My friend did the sueing. Feels fiod to have him out of my life and let him know that there are SOME consequences for all the crap he always pulls.....he left a big crack in my heart, a bitterness, a hopelessness, but it too fades as my love for him. All the guilt, grief, heartbreak, anger, more anger, selfhate, pity, self pity, ect. It all fades away if you recognize it, feel it, and let it go. I paint and write more now. I'm rambling....Xo
I am blessed to have found this forum, and meetings. I hope inspire others as i have been inspired.
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