Day 40... again... but this time with a twist
Day 40... again... but this time with a twist
Two times over the past 2 years of attempting to stop drinking I have gotten to day 40. But, here I am again for my 3rd time and you know what? I am feeling GREAT!
I know in my heart of heart that this is my very last time on day 40 ever... I have gotten off the tracks of "let's try this again...". Because this time I have surrendered to the powerlessness of my ego in thinking that I can conqure this thing. In truth I have been beaten down... and you know what ... oddly enough.. it feels great! I have stopped fooling myself that I can beat this thing.. I can lick it if I just do X, Y and Z.
I am so grateful that I don't have to stress over it anymore.
I am so grateful to be here on day 40 and looking forward to day 41.
Saliena
I know in my heart of heart that this is my very last time on day 40 ever... I have gotten off the tracks of "let's try this again...". Because this time I have surrendered to the powerlessness of my ego in thinking that I can conqure this thing. In truth I have been beaten down... and you know what ... oddly enough.. it feels great! I have stopped fooling myself that I can beat this thing.. I can lick it if I just do X, Y and Z.
I am so grateful that I don't have to stress over it anymore.
I am so grateful to be here on day 40 and looking forward to day 41.
Saliena
Congrats Saliena!
I know exactly what you mean by different. It is like a switch got thrown, and in hindsight we get pixed because we never noticed where that switch was long ago!! I am a year and almost four months into my last time quitting forever. While still one drink or smoke away from my addictions, I don't want them anymore. But we can't seem to get the location of that switch across to others once we find it. Alas they are located in different places in each person's head.
I know exactly what you mean by different. It is like a switch got thrown, and in hindsight we get pixed because we never noticed where that switch was long ago!! I am a year and almost four months into my last time quitting forever. While still one drink or smoke away from my addictions, I don't want them anymore. But we can't seem to get the location of that switch across to others once we find it. Alas they are located in different places in each person's head.
I remember that feeling too, Saliena. It is a huge relief when we finally admit we can't touch the stuff ever again. You sound so positive and filled with hope - I'm so happy for you. Congratulations on your day 40!!
Well done, Saliena. The relief that I remember was the realization that I no longer had to do the things that alcoholics do. The days of lying, of fear, of depression and anxiety, of shame were gone. They were gone because I knew that nothing could make me take another drink, and that I could choose to not take a drink again. So that's what I chose, almost five months ago.
Keep doing this best thing for yourself and those that love you.
Keep doing this best thing for yourself and those that love you.
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