EarlHickey

So I'm talking with the wife yesterday and I bring up my sobriety which I'm very proud of and she knows it, anyway she says that I'm not funny anymore since I quit drinkng. I told that I'm going through a tuff time now and I really don't feel like making people laugh but I knew. What she was getting at, when I drank I was the life of the party always joking around. I know I still have it in me but I feel so bumbed out, what should I do?

Seren

Hi Earl,

I'm sure someone has already said so, but...Welcome to SR!

Congratulations on your sobriety, that's just fantastic!!!!

Well, I don't know how long it has been since you quite drinking, but your mind and body probably have a wee bit of adjusting left to do. I think your humor will come back after a fashion, if it's even truly gone now.

Take care and keep on!
HG

Impurrfect

(((Earl))) - when I was in early recovery, I had serious doubts that I would ever smile again. Seriously. The good news is, I've reclaimed my sense of humor, and I don't need to be messed up to find it.

It takes time, but it does happen. I remember being totally amazed the first time I was joking around and cutting up with people - it was like "oh, wow - THERE I am"

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

dollydo

Welcome and keep your resolve to remain sober...life is not all Ha Ha, being a funny drunk does not make for a good relationship.

Tuffgirl

Well the title of the thread made me chuckle a bit...I am sure you are just as funny as before but just not feeling it right now. That's ok...just the ebb and flow of life. You'll get it back.

laurie6781

See that is part of what kept me coming to meetings that first 6 to 9 months. It was in meetings that I felt SAFE.

I would sit and listen and watch them cry, laugh, and smile. What absolutely FASCINATED me was that when they smiled the smile went all the way to their eyes. And when they laughed or cried, the laughter or the tears seemed to come from the very CORE of their being.

I started to realize that if it happened to them, it could happen to me. And eventually it did, as I continued to work on MY recovery.

J M H O

Love and hugs,

EarlHickey

60 days

EarlHickey

You guys are awsome, I've only read 5 posts and i m feelig better already, BIG THANKS thank-you.

steelmagnolia

hey earl...funny, i find your post very sad. it reminded me of the old "tears of a clown" phrase. i find sadness in the thought that your wife does not see the importance of your sobriety and the ridiculousness of being the drunken clown. earl, you need to know that you will not lose your great sense of humor when you find peaceful sobriety. as a matter of fact, i find my humor even sharper since my mind is not numbed. you need to cradle and cheer yourself right now....let everyone else just wait in line for the next sober performance. cheer up sugar.....mags

lillamy

Hi Earl --

One of my RA friends said that he stopped going to parties when he became sober, because "not only wasn't I as funny as I thought when I was drunk, neither was anyone else..."

I think there's a lot of truth to that. A good sense of humor doesn't come in a bottle.

TakingCharge999

I don't know what she "meant"
But I feel proud of your recovery !! keep up the good work !!

If others need humor they are welcome to watch "Comedy central".

aeo1313

I worry about this too. I worry about how much fun my husband and I would have weekends when the kids were away. We'd drink and go out and have wild drunken sex. There was such an excitement in it all. Of course other times I'd drink and be pissy and instead of wild sex I'm telling him I hate him...

Willybluedog

Welcome Earl,

I think it takes time for you to refocus or reframe, you are seeing the world through sober eyes, which are very different from your old lampshade on the head life of the party eyes.

Take your time, observe, be who YOU want to be, work your recovery, meet your obligations, and let everyone else worry about being funny.

Kudos to you on 60 days sober, I am rooting for you!

Please come back often and let us know how you are doing.

Bill

button21

You're not alone in this. My RABF has said that he feels the same way about himself. I just assure him that he still makes us all smile/laugh--and that we enjoy sober him better than drunk him. So, congratulations on your sobriety. The rest will just take some adjustment, I'm sure, so just keep doing what you're doing!

WMaxwell

My husband was a wonderful person when I first met him (sober). Then he was a roller coaster while he was getting high. Now that he's over 90 days clean, he's just a mean angry grouch. I've not been easy to live with (I'm angry and resentful) but he's angrier and meaner now than he ever was. I hope he turns back into the man I fell in love with soon

Anyhoo, no, it's not just you.

AntoinetteP

When I had my first official nervous breakdown I was in an improv comedy group. Once treatment got too intense, I found it difficult to be funny anymore either, all my energy was put into untangling my own emotional wounds and repressed crap. It took a while, but even while still struggling with treatment (I'm an ACOA, not an A, but intense head stuff is intense head stuff all around) I was able to get my funny bone back up and running.

It'll take time and patience. It was hard for some of my friends to accept me as 'not the clever one' for a while, but the true friends did. And eventually, I got my funny bone back and better than ever, since I was no longer spending all my energy on dealing with my neurosis.

One chuckle at a time....

purpleflower8

Earl, Congrats on your sobriety, that is a wonderful thing! As far as being funny, my RAH has been sober for almost 13 months. My daughter and I think he is so much funnier now than he was ever before. It took a few months for him to adjust to not drinking, but life now is better than ever. As someone else said, he also gets very annoyed when we are with friends who have drank too much! Best of luck to you in your continued sobriety!!

EarlHickey

Thank-you everyone thank-you, your a big help. This forum makes me feel so comforatble with dealing about my problems so again thnx

fedup3

Earl, I don't know how long you were drinking during your marriage but your wife is probably trying to get use to the new sober husband that has be absent for awhile. Healing takes time on both sides of the street.

All the best to you and your sobriety.

Ponder

My thoughts?
Drunk funny gets old. The "funny" tales that start out, "I was so drunk.." aren't funny anymore. They are sad and pathetic to this chic.

Sober funny never gets old. It never makes me roll my eyes and sigh because it's the same old crap as last time. Nope, sober funny is much better I think.

Congratulations on your sobriety, and wishing you the best of luck with it.