aeo1313

I got drunk for the first time alone last night bc none of my friends could go out. I went to a movie with my daughter, but took 1 vicoprophin before we went. After the movie she went upstairs on the computer and I watched tv and did 5 shots of vodka. When she came to join me on the couch I went upstairs...I didn't want my baby (she's 12) girls company I got into bed, but not before taking 2 xanax (the bottle is now empty). When my husband came home I told him everything. I told him details about the pills. Details about how I feel suicidal during my hangovers. I finally told him that I went outside naked this summer and made out w a neighbor. He wasn't mad about any of it. He did go hide his flexeril when I told him I was sneaking those as well. We talked a long time. He does not think the alcoholic label is for me, and I said then don't call it that, but admit I have a problem. I told him regardless of labels it would be a good idea for me to go 30 days without a drink and he was on board with that and said he'd help me. When he went downstairs to get me more water I popped another 2 hydros. I told him that when he came upstairs. 10 min before I had lied they were all gone. At least now he knows I can lie very well. Where do I go from here?

Bikeguy

I think you made a big step telling your husband everything but the biggest step has to come from you, have YOU decided to quit. Make the decision yourself and for yourself and then do everything to make it happen.

laurie6781

Well ........................................ none of us can give you a definite 'where to go.'

You have been on this site for some days now and have been doing some reading so you know there is LOTS you can try or do.

Find a counselor/therapist that specializes in Addiction.

Try AA and/or NA.

Look into CBT, Life Ring, SMART, Rational Recovery, etc

There are so many avenues, you pick.

We are here, we will walk with you 'in spirit', but you are the one who will have to do ALL THE HARD WORK.

Love and hugs,

TatsX

Being caught sneaking alcohol and then watering it down by my wife recently, woke me up. I can't say where to go from here, but reading SR seems to be helping me. starting day 10 w/o a drink today, my best streak before was 3 days over the past 15 years. Taking the step to talk to your spouse is a good step, it was for me. We used to go out to dinner 2-3 times a week, many pre-drinks and wine with dinner. She is helping by keeping me out of that situation. It is helping her too, we both drank heavily while we worked, now both retired. I always drank more than her, especially during the work week. I am finding lots of support here. Keep looking for answers here that fit your situation is my best answer, I found mine. Good luck

aeo1313

Luckily I have found a great therapist who specializes in addiction and I will see him for the 4th time this Tuesday.

FT

Three hydrocodone pills, 5 shots of vodka, and 2 Xanax.

Hmmm.

I think you have more than just an alcohol problem. My strong suggestion would be to see your doctor about a detox plan that does not include opiates and benzodiazapene chasers.

Please be careful. This is scary stuff you are doing.

FT

ovrock

All I can say is that I am really beginning to hate this thing called alcohol. I really with you all the best in your efforts to turn your life around. I really do.

GirlFromCO

Aeo, please be careful - you are really playing with fire when you take all those things together and drink. You could easily OD and die. Just think about that for a minute the next time you feel the compulsion to take whatever you can get your hands on - it could be tonight, tomorrow, sooner than you think. I'm glad you told your husband everything, and I think it would be a good idea to tell your counselor everything if you haven't already. I'm praying for you, hope that's okay.

Threshold

YES. I came very near to death this summer on a similar cocktail to what you've described.

If we make this a game of "see what I can get away with" we soon find out that we are the loser.

betterlate

Sounds like you're trying really hard to switch to a policy of honesty instead of concealment in the situation. That sounds like a very good direction to keep going.