Change and Acceptance
peaceful seabird
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Change and Acceptance
Just wanted to share this with the family:
Today's thought from Hazelden is:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
--The Serenity Prayer
One of life's paradoxes is that in order to change an unwanted situation, we must first accept it the way it is. If you wish to move forward in your life, first make peace with what you are presently experiencing.
John was working at a job that he had ceased to enjoy and could not wait to leave. Yet despite his extensive job search, he was unable to find new employment. Realizing that you can't leave a situation without spiritual injury unless you leave it lovingly, John decided to make peace with his job and to bless the people in it. This change of attitude freed him to move on to new employment.
Accepting people as they are is also transformational. For years, a man tried to get his elderly mother to stop complaining. One day he gave up trying to change her and accepted her faults. This experience of unconditional love opened her heart to the point where she stopped condemning herself and others.
If there is some area of your life that you are seeking to change, first practice acceptance. By acknowledging where you are and giving thanks for the good that you have received, you will release an energy that will transform you and your present circumstances.
Today's thought from Hazelden is:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
--The Serenity Prayer
One of life's paradoxes is that in order to change an unwanted situation, we must first accept it the way it is. If you wish to move forward in your life, first make peace with what you are presently experiencing.
John was working at a job that he had ceased to enjoy and could not wait to leave. Yet despite his extensive job search, he was unable to find new employment. Realizing that you can't leave a situation without spiritual injury unless you leave it lovingly, John decided to make peace with his job and to bless the people in it. This change of attitude freed him to move on to new employment.
Accepting people as they are is also transformational. For years, a man tried to get his elderly mother to stop complaining. One day he gave up trying to change her and accepted her faults. This experience of unconditional love opened her heart to the point where she stopped condemning herself and others.
If there is some area of your life that you are seeking to change, first practice acceptance. By acknowledging where you are and giving thanks for the good that you have received, you will release an energy that will transform you and your present circumstances.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Wild West, USA
Posts: 407
So VERY true. As a teenager I noticed the paradox that as long as you fight something, it is immobile. Accept it, and it becomes changeable. But I have to learn this over and again.
From my early teens to early 20s I attempted to become a decent musician, to learn to play the piano. And I tried and tried and practiced (though not very effectively) and I didn't get much better. Finally I bagged it, but the impulse stayed. For years I could barely stand to listen to live music, just from jealousy.
For my 25th birthday, though, I bought myself a guitar, a nice one. And I fiddled around a little bit, and realized immediately that the guitar was more natural to me than the piano: the grid layout made more sense than the line of keys on a piano. But, oh well, I had stopped trying, and set the guitar aside.
Flash forward... uh, way forward, unfortunately, to the present. I did end up returning to the guitar in my late 30s. It was that or give it away, because it's too high quality of an instrument to be lying around unused. And a similar thing happened than with the piano... I got to where I could play, but not well. I'd hit a plateau, and not a very high one.
Six months ago I reached a point where I was extremely irritated with myself over my lack of skills. I decided not to sing or play with anyone until I could play for myself. And, as I marched home to start practicing, I decided that no matter what sound came out of the guitar I was going to be ok with it. If it was not good, so be it. No more self recrimination, no telling myself that I sucked. Maybe I do have just a little talent, but whatever I could do, that was fine, and I would do it.
Oh my gosh. I cannot believe what happened. I can now fix the points where I used to struggle and push and fight, simply because I accept that I can't do it immediately and I don't flinch when I mess up. And, like a miracle, I can now play things that I never imagined I could! This song? I thought it was beautiful but I could never play it as fast as the original musician. Now I play it faster. That song requires a pick and some finger work. Impossible? Not anymore! My old barriers started to melt. I look and my hands and I can barely believe that they can do that. I work hard, but now I improve too. That didn't used to happen.
No, you'll never hear my name, I'm never going to be a pro, I'll never make a dime from music. But I know my own quality, and that's enough. All this, because I finally accepted that I was at a certain point and worked from there, instead of trying to be at a point where I wasn't and working expecting those results. It seemed like such a little attitude adjustment, and instead, it completely changed everything. Amazing.
From my early teens to early 20s I attempted to become a decent musician, to learn to play the piano. And I tried and tried and practiced (though not very effectively) and I didn't get much better. Finally I bagged it, but the impulse stayed. For years I could barely stand to listen to live music, just from jealousy.
For my 25th birthday, though, I bought myself a guitar, a nice one. And I fiddled around a little bit, and realized immediately that the guitar was more natural to me than the piano: the grid layout made more sense than the line of keys on a piano. But, oh well, I had stopped trying, and set the guitar aside.
Flash forward... uh, way forward, unfortunately, to the present. I did end up returning to the guitar in my late 30s. It was that or give it away, because it's too high quality of an instrument to be lying around unused. And a similar thing happened than with the piano... I got to where I could play, but not well. I'd hit a plateau, and not a very high one.
Six months ago I reached a point where I was extremely irritated with myself over my lack of skills. I decided not to sing or play with anyone until I could play for myself. And, as I marched home to start practicing, I decided that no matter what sound came out of the guitar I was going to be ok with it. If it was not good, so be it. No more self recrimination, no telling myself that I sucked. Maybe I do have just a little talent, but whatever I could do, that was fine, and I would do it.
Oh my gosh. I cannot believe what happened. I can now fix the points where I used to struggle and push and fight, simply because I accept that I can't do it immediately and I don't flinch when I mess up. And, like a miracle, I can now play things that I never imagined I could! This song? I thought it was beautiful but I could never play it as fast as the original musician. Now I play it faster. That song requires a pick and some finger work. Impossible? Not anymore! My old barriers started to melt. I look and my hands and I can barely believe that they can do that. I work hard, but now I improve too. That didn't used to happen.
No, you'll never hear my name, I'm never going to be a pro, I'll never make a dime from music. But I know my own quality, and that's enough. All this, because I finally accepted that I was at a certain point and worked from there, instead of trying to be at a point where I wasn't and working expecting those results. It seemed like such a little attitude adjustment, and instead, it completely changed everything. Amazing.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
Acceptance is one of the most powerful tools available that can literally change relationships. I had many gripes with my sister-in-law and brother after they got married. Finally after years I thought "screw them" and just forgot about my issues. The relationship changed a great deal and we have a terrific relationship today. This is all because I let go of expectations. And I think expectations screw up more relationships than practically anything else.
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