My hardest break up ever...is gonna be with alcohol.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Philly PA
Posts: 814
it doesn't matter what other people think. I THINK I HAVE A PROBLEM!
but I am approaching 40 and it's starting to look ugly
The thought of permanently breaking up with alcohol depresses me beyond belief
Scarletrose - I'm glad you're here and I believe that our subconscious knows when we need help and when we're ready for that help.
You're ready to stop being a "Clown" I'm sure your kid(s) will appreciate it and I'm sure you'll be relieved never to have to wonder about what you've done, never have to live through a hangover or regret anything you've said or done. Wouldn't that be nice?
Welcome
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,826
Welcome to you! I am nodding my head in understanding with your post.
Two books that were really helpful to me are Mommy Doesn't Drink Here Anymore and Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp. Both helped me realize that I wasn't alone, my story wasn't unique, and there was another way for me to live.
People around me might not have thought that I had a problem but I knew I did.
I thought white wine & vodka were my friends but they were LIARS. It was the best break-up I ever did.
SR and the monthly class threads have been my primary support but lots of people find that AA or other support work for them.
You can do this. You can. You can live contentedly sober. It's a journey, but you don't have to do it alone.
Two books that were really helpful to me are Mommy Doesn't Drink Here Anymore and Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp. Both helped me realize that I wasn't alone, my story wasn't unique, and there was another way for me to live.
People around me might not have thought that I had a problem but I knew I did.
I thought white wine & vodka were my friends but they were LIARS. It was the best break-up I ever did.
SR and the monthly class threads have been my primary support but lots of people find that AA or other support work for them.
You can do this. You can. You can live contentedly sober. It's a journey, but you don't have to do it alone.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3,677
Hi scarletrose,
You know what to do.
I was in this about the same number of years as you are when I quit drinking. That was long ago, but I remember the struggle well.
The interesting thing is that you begin to enjoy being a non-drinker after awhile. It becomes as much a part of you as drinking was. Later, it becomes a part of you worth protecting, and no amount of cravings would make you pick back up again. That is a wonderful place to be.
You can do this. As much as you think you will be depriving yourself "for life!", it only feels like that at first. Those are "addict brain" thoughts, and they are not true. Don't believe them. Every time you feel upset, melancholy over alcohol, deprived, or even "grief stricken" over the "loss" of booze, remind yourself that those are not rational thoughts but the devious nature of your "addict brain" to pick back up and use alcohol again.
Good luck!
FT
You know what to do.
I was in this about the same number of years as you are when I quit drinking. That was long ago, but I remember the struggle well.
The interesting thing is that you begin to enjoy being a non-drinker after awhile. It becomes as much a part of you as drinking was. Later, it becomes a part of you worth protecting, and no amount of cravings would make you pick back up again. That is a wonderful place to be.
You can do this. As much as you think you will be depriving yourself "for life!", it only feels like that at first. Those are "addict brain" thoughts, and they are not true. Don't believe them. Every time you feel upset, melancholy over alcohol, deprived, or even "grief stricken" over the "loss" of booze, remind yourself that those are not rational thoughts but the devious nature of your "addict brain" to pick back up and use alcohol again.
Good luck!
FT
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
It's just so hard because this has been my identity for almost 25 years. The thought of permanently breaking up with alcohol depresses me beyond belief but I know I have to do it or I am gonna be in trouble. I should seek out counseling for more support...but right now I am just starting out here. Your stories inspire me and I wish I could be where you all are -- content with a sober lifestyle.
I took it a day at a time, I leant on the support I found here, and gradually I built up a definition of myself that wasn't based on what I drank
I know you can too scarletrose - welcome back
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,308
Hi Scarletrose,
You have an honest insight into your drinking and I think that is half the battle. I have noticed that what we worry about when thinking about giving up drinking is this black void in our life, it "helps" us to cope. The thing is and I am talking from my experience, the Caihong who was drinking is a very different person today and after 7 months I am seeing the real damage and affect alcohol has had on my life and my personality.
I have "got it" I understand that I can't drink and it doesn't bother me now, the cravings have subsided the mood swings are lessening.
I don't know why some of us get it and others don't but I cherish my sobriety and do the work that it takes to keep it.
I am looking forward to a milestone of a year and meanwhile I am going to be proactive to further strengthen my sobriety.
You are more than ready to take this journey.
CaiHong
You have an honest insight into your drinking and I think that is half the battle. I have noticed that what we worry about when thinking about giving up drinking is this black void in our life, it "helps" us to cope. The thing is and I am talking from my experience, the Caihong who was drinking is a very different person today and after 7 months I am seeing the real damage and affect alcohol has had on my life and my personality.
I have "got it" I understand that I can't drink and it doesn't bother me now, the cravings have subsided the mood swings are lessening.
I don't know why some of us get it and others don't but I cherish my sobriety and do the work that it takes to keep it.
I am looking forward to a milestone of a year and meanwhile I am going to be proactive to further strengthen my sobriety.
You are more than ready to take this journey.
CaiHong
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