need support please help
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Chiba
Posts: 19
need support please help
Hi all,
I'd like to share my story. I think I just found my bottom.
First of all, I live in Japan. I was back in US visiting family last few weeks and I was doing fine, getting rest and plenty of exercise. I drank quite a bit when I was on the plane coming back, and basically I haven't stopped. It's been a week since the bender started and I'm getting scared. I never drank before work but since I came back some light went on in my head and I thought it was OK to have one drink before work. The amount is increasing. Yesterday, I "maintained" and went out for a drink once every three hours. This is unsustainable and I'm going down a dark path.
It's been about 8 hours now since my last drink and I am full of awful feelings, doom and gloom, very depressed. Feel like the world is ending. I told my wife about my drinking at the office last few days and she told me "just be happy, everything is OK". I am so lucky that she is supportive and I am afraid if I don't change my ways she will change her feelings about me.
Of course, I only got a few hours of sleep and woke up as soon as the booze wore off. I'm tired as hell but I can't sleep.
I'm scared to death about going into work later today sober. I have klonopins I take for anxiety but what if I get the shakes or some serious DT? Most of all, I'm scared I will give in to the temptation of getting another drink while at work. I feel that I'm walking into oblivion if I continue with the drinking. I have a three month daughter and I want to see her grow up. I want her to be proud of me.
My plan is go to the gym and really exhaust myself as much as possible, and take a klonopin 30 minutes before work. And NO DRINKING before or during work. I expect a terrible day so I will be looking for any support possible.
I don't know my long term plan but I know I need to stop drinking now.
Thanks for your time.
I'd like to share my story. I think I just found my bottom.
First of all, I live in Japan. I was back in US visiting family last few weeks and I was doing fine, getting rest and plenty of exercise. I drank quite a bit when I was on the plane coming back, and basically I haven't stopped. It's been a week since the bender started and I'm getting scared. I never drank before work but since I came back some light went on in my head and I thought it was OK to have one drink before work. The amount is increasing. Yesterday, I "maintained" and went out for a drink once every three hours. This is unsustainable and I'm going down a dark path.
It's been about 8 hours now since my last drink and I am full of awful feelings, doom and gloom, very depressed. Feel like the world is ending. I told my wife about my drinking at the office last few days and she told me "just be happy, everything is OK". I am so lucky that she is supportive and I am afraid if I don't change my ways she will change her feelings about me.
Of course, I only got a few hours of sleep and woke up as soon as the booze wore off. I'm tired as hell but I can't sleep.
I'm scared to death about going into work later today sober. I have klonopins I take for anxiety but what if I get the shakes or some serious DT? Most of all, I'm scared I will give in to the temptation of getting another drink while at work. I feel that I'm walking into oblivion if I continue with the drinking. I have a three month daughter and I want to see her grow up. I want her to be proud of me.
My plan is go to the gym and really exhaust myself as much as possible, and take a klonopin 30 minutes before work. And NO DRINKING before or during work. I expect a terrible day so I will be looking for any support possible.
I don't know my long term plan but I know I need to stop drinking now.
Thanks for your time.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Chiba
Posts: 19
Another thing I forgot to mention is Japan is a terrible place to quit drinking. It's a big part of the culture and I am expected to go out drinking with my boss a few times a month. I will need to find some excuse to refuse....
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Fl
Posts: 11
And you can. I stopped 6 days ago after a horrible confrontation with my stepson. Of which he did not deserve but I was drunk and the words just keep pouring out of my mouth. Now you would think my husband would have left me, but instead he has been so supportive. I do believe that knowing others are out there, in this big world, fighting just as you are. To win this battle. You can do this. You have me, and hundreds of others rooting for you. I loved hearing from other on this site. Found much needed support. And you will too.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Wis
Posts: 172
OK Japanguy. Step one you know you have a problem. Now what?? If you have drank day and night for a long period you need to see a doctor. Not sure how that works in Japan but it can be dangerous to stop cold turkey. I know that will not help your anxiety but it is the truth. Stay on this website. Great people. You can do this. That bad voice freaking you out is not you. Hang in there
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Lexington Ky
Posts: 23
Its a hard place your in. Stay sober today and come back and tell us you did its so inspirational to hear that! Always it never hurts to ask help from a higher power. Ill be thinking about you and will say a prayer for you. Take it a second at a time. You do have alot to lose, which is better than having nothing to lose.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Japanguy:
If I were in your place I would have a candid talk with your doctor, perhaps the one who has been prescribing the pills you are taking. Ask for his/her help getting you through withdrawal from alcohol. As for your boss, you can probably get by telling him that for the moment you have been advised not to drink because it might interfere with some medication you are taking. That your health issues are not serious but you would like to keep them private and not discuss them. And your boss will probably see your work improve once you quit drinking.
It's not easy to quit but you can do it. All of us on this website can help you do that. We are thinking about you and would like to help in any way we can. I hope you can also join some group of recovering alcoholics where you are in Japan. I found that very helpful in my situation. Good luck. Every good wish.
W.
If I were in your place I would have a candid talk with your doctor, perhaps the one who has been prescribing the pills you are taking. Ask for his/her help getting you through withdrawal from alcohol. As for your boss, you can probably get by telling him that for the moment you have been advised not to drink because it might interfere with some medication you are taking. That your health issues are not serious but you would like to keep them private and not discuss them. And your boss will probably see your work improve once you quit drinking.
It's not easy to quit but you can do it. All of us on this website can help you do that. We are thinking about you and would like to help in any way we can. I hope you can also join some group of recovering alcoholics where you are in Japan. I found that very helpful in my situation. Good luck. Every good wish.
W.
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Welcome to the forums Japanguy!
You came to the right place, I would never have made it if not for here on SR and a lot more locally. One of the key things was my local AA group. I was drinking even more in the mornings and retired to drink full time and almost killed myself. I know that dark place well. Until I outed myself to my docs and sought outside help I couldn't even stay sober one morning! Sound familiar? I was willing at that point to do whatever it took.
You know we have a large ex-pat population over there right? Well they have a lot of the same problems you do. And somehow they manage to stay sober and not get their bosses dander up. Fellow problem drinkers over there who quit will know the cultural ropes better that I do about getting around declining drinking gracefully. I would right now call up the local English speaking AA folks and start getting some local help, as well as reading here and posting. Both saved me.
Go here for the local Japanese English speaking ex pat AA groups, click on the below link "untitled:"
Untitled document
You came to the right place, I would never have made it if not for here on SR and a lot more locally. One of the key things was my local AA group. I was drinking even more in the mornings and retired to drink full time and almost killed myself. I know that dark place well. Until I outed myself to my docs and sought outside help I couldn't even stay sober one morning! Sound familiar? I was willing at that point to do whatever it took.
You know we have a large ex-pat population over there right? Well they have a lot of the same problems you do. And somehow they manage to stay sober and not get their bosses dander up. Fellow problem drinkers over there who quit will know the cultural ropes better that I do about getting around declining drinking gracefully. I would right now call up the local English speaking AA folks and start getting some local help, as well as reading here and posting. Both saved me.
Go here for the local Japanese English speaking ex pat AA groups, click on the below link "untitled:"
Untitled document
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Chiba
Posts: 19
Thanks everyone for all your help and kind advice. I'm at about 10 hours since my last drink now and my body isn't happy about it. I feel weak, cold, and shaking. My wife is leaving for the city soon and I'll head to the gym. I'm going to do cardio for 2 hours at highest possible level. Hopefully I can pump the alcohol out faster that way. My wife saw my hand shaking and she looked worried..... took a klonopin and that evened me out a little.
I will probably talk to my doctor about this next day off.
Excellent advice about my boss, telling him I am on meds. He'll respect that.
I've read some other posts about weaning myself, gradually cutting back to prevent severe withdrawl, etc. Is there an official position on that? It's what my wife suggested. I don't think I am a candidate for DT to be honest, but I'm not a doctor.
One way or another, I will not be drinking before or during work. I'm going to take some extra klonopin with me just in case.
I'll check back in when I get to work, hopefully feeling better after a good sweat.
I will probably talk to my doctor about this next day off.
Excellent advice about my boss, telling him I am on meds. He'll respect that.
I've read some other posts about weaning myself, gradually cutting back to prevent severe withdrawl, etc. Is there an official position on that? It's what my wife suggested. I don't think I am a candidate for DT to be honest, but I'm not a doctor.
One way or another, I will not be drinking before or during work. I'm going to take some extra klonopin with me just in case.
I'll check back in when I get to work, hopefully feeling better after a good sweat.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,352
Welcome japanguy 
we have a few members who live and work in Japan so you're not alone in that respect
I recommend you make seeing your Dr a priority - I'm not trying to scare you, but detox can sometimes be dangerous - it's simply best to get a professional opinion on your condition.
D
we have a few members who live and work in Japan so you're not alone in that respect
I recommend you make seeing your Dr a priority - I'm not trying to scare you, but detox can sometimes be dangerous - it's simply best to get a professional opinion on your condition.
D
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,460
I would just add that weaning off alcohol is extremely difficult. People usually find that they cut back, then it creeps up again. As long as your dr okays it, stopping drinking altogether would be a better idea, in my opinion.
I wish you well in your recovery.
I wish you well in your recovery.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Originally Posted by japanguy 
Another thing I forgot to mention is Japan is a terrible place to quit drinking. It's a big part of the culture and I am expected to go out drinking with my boss a few times a month. I will need to find some excuse to refuse....
I've heard every state in the US is a tough place to get sober. I've heard every job from construction to nursing to MD's to financial planners, to pro golfers, to you name it is a tough career to get sober in. Face facts, getting sober isn't necessarily easy for anyone, anywhere, no matter what they do. You can choose to look for excuses or look for sobriety. (and no, I'm not accusing you of making excuses to duck getting sober......just making a point in general).
In my experience, sobriety isn't for those who want it, it isn't even just for those who need it........ it's for those who work at it. Action, that's the deal maker or the deal breaker.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome Japanguy!
If you continue to feel worse, don't hesitate to go to the ER. None of us can offer medical advice, but I'd be careful on pushing yourself too much with the cardio, too.
The good news is that once you get through detox, the anxiety and depression will begin to lift and you start feeling sane again. There are better days ahead and we're here to help you get there!
If you continue to feel worse, don't hesitate to go to the ER. None of us can offer medical advice, but I'd be careful on pushing yourself too much with the cardio, too.
The good news is that once you get through detox, the anxiety and depression will begin to lift and you start feeling sane again. There are better days ahead and we're here to help you get there!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Houston
Posts: 81
Welcome, JapanGuy! Congratulations on your first step to recovery. SR is a great place to find support about getting sober. I agree that you should definitely talk with your Dr. as soon as possible. My Doctor prescribed me Klonopin to take as needed for my anxiety from withdrawals. Klonopin is also supposed to help prevent seizures as well. But listen to your doctor and see what they want you to do.
If drinking is such a big part of Japanese culture, then recovery should be as well, as DayTrader stated. If you decide not to drink when going out with your boss and just play it off casually I'm sure he won't think of you any differently. And even if he does, you're not paid to drink. Your wife and kid are what matter. And you're doing the right thing.
If drinking is such a big part of Japanese culture, then recovery should be as well, as DayTrader stated. If you decide not to drink when going out with your boss and just play it off casually I'm sure he won't think of you any differently. And even if he does, you're not paid to drink. Your wife and kid are what matter. And you're doing the right thing.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Chiba
Posts: 19
Hi Everyone,
Not sure if anyone remembers my last posts but I am back after a rough year. Basically, I tried sobriety and failed several times over the past year. The longest I went was almost three months. I thought I could go back to drinking just on my days off and I made a promise to my wife I would follow the new rule. It only took a few weeks before I broke it - I drank before and during work yesterday. One co-worker told me I looked drunk. I am in danger of losing my wife and family. I don't think she will stick around much longer if I don't get my act together. I didn't drink today even though I had a very strong urge to do so. I read quite a bit on here and just kept trying to delay the trip down to the convenience store to get a can or 2. I don't want to go through this cycle anymore. When I was not drinking for the three months it wasn't so hard really, but as soon I started drinking again it was business as usual. It really is true that you pick up where you left off. I don't want to lose my family and I can't trust myself just to drink a little bit here and there. There is always a chance that it will start a bender where I will keep drinking until I get sick. I don't feel strong DT's like last time and I am not worried that I need the hospital or anything. My wife hates me right now and she's all I have in Japan. I talked to my dad on the phone about something else but I was embarrassed with my failure and I didn't share it with him.
Not sure if anyone remembers my last posts but I am back after a rough year. Basically, I tried sobriety and failed several times over the past year. The longest I went was almost three months. I thought I could go back to drinking just on my days off and I made a promise to my wife I would follow the new rule. It only took a few weeks before I broke it - I drank before and during work yesterday. One co-worker told me I looked drunk. I am in danger of losing my wife and family. I don't think she will stick around much longer if I don't get my act together. I didn't drink today even though I had a very strong urge to do so. I read quite a bit on here and just kept trying to delay the trip down to the convenience store to get a can or 2. I don't want to go through this cycle anymore. When I was not drinking for the three months it wasn't so hard really, but as soon I started drinking again it was business as usual. It really is true that you pick up where you left off. I don't want to lose my family and I can't trust myself just to drink a little bit here and there. There is always a chance that it will start a bender where I will keep drinking until I get sick. I don't feel strong DT's like last time and I am not worried that I need the hospital or anything. My wife hates me right now and she's all I have in Japan. I talked to my dad on the phone about something else but I was embarrassed with my failure and I didn't share it with him.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Chiba
Posts: 19
I feel alone and like a failure. I don't deserve the love of my wife. She deserves better - she is so wonderful. I really know I need to stop - forever but I can't flip the switch in my mind
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
Japanguy,
i remember your posts because i just read them and didn't realize they were a year old!
so...what has changed over this year? you thought , after three months, that you could drink again and manage/control/restrict it.
and you couldn't.
that's something valuable to know.
it's something i needed to see over and over until i really "knew" it.
if you read the posts from a year ago again, everything people said to you still holds; the doctor part, the action part, the connecting with others part.
good to see you posting, reaching out.
i remember your posts because i just read them and didn't realize they were a year old!
so...what has changed over this year? you thought , after three months, that you could drink again and manage/control/restrict it.
and you couldn't.
that's something valuable to know.
it's something i needed to see over and over until i really "knew" it.
if you read the posts from a year ago again, everything people said to you still holds; the doctor part, the action part, the connecting with others part.
good to see you posting, reaching out.
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