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Cocaine Timeline

Old 01-03-2012, 01:01 PM
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Cocaine Timeline

Dear SRC users,

I would like to briefly share my experiences using cocaine. Although I've flirted with coke off and on since college, it never became a problem or issue until almost 8 years later in the summer of 2009. From about July 2009 - Jan 2010 (over a six month period) I would say I developed a very real cocaine habit. It didn't take long for cocaine to become the primary mode of liesure on the weekends and my main outlet to relax and socialize. I was also socialized to ying yang cocaine with alcohol in a bar/pub environment where we smoked cigs inside, played pool and video poker. In a few months I was sniffing about a gram or more about once a week. 2010 signaled my return to law school. Sadly, I took my newfound coke habit with me. Almost immediately, I started missing classes, going to school late, or tired, missing deadlines for scholarships and internships. During this time, I began using coke sporadically - sometimes as a weekend drug but more and more often as an "anytime" drug. My spring 2010 semester was hellish! Once I did coke on a Sunday or Monday - the rest of the week was a painful and slow recovery period, never really hitting my groove with school work, papers, or other projects. When you have that much of an intellectual load on your shoulders (i.e. law school) one sleepless night as a result of a night of cocaine binging can just break you down for the rest of the weak. The summer of 2010 was basically a period of serious reflection and change. I was clean for over a month during which time I worked out, lost weight, gained muscle and overall enhanced my affirmation of life. I became involved with a nice girl who also was a law student. She was aware of my struggle and was a positive influence. Although I slipped here and there, and spent hundreds of dollars on cocaine, somehow it seemed like I was to eventually ween myself off the drug. The fall/winter of 2011 my brightest period of abstinence. Clean for 5 weeks, then 7 weaks. All this with no support or NA or treatment mind you. Sadly though from November of 2011 to Dec 2012: a one year period: my cociane use has increased 10 fold! I now have been using on a daily or every other day basis for at least 4 -5 months. Just 3 weeks ago I sniffed an over 3 grams of coaine over a 7 hour period. No amount seems to satisfy except when occasionally you are so sick of/from it that you just don't need more! Anyways - I have gone through a rough a turbulent journey of cocaine addiction for over 2.5 years I don't want to hit my 3 year anniversarry! I have pawned jewelry, fallen into credit card debt, wasted hard earned paychecks, and time and energy on coke. At the end of the day, material things can be regained and credit and so on can ultimately be fixed - but you never get the time back. Cocaine addiction for me is very cyclical. I don't expect my life to become great without coke, just go back to normal but with greater inner strength, peace and forgiveness.

Thank you for reading,

Free2012
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Old 01-03-2012, 01:07 PM
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Welcome and I hope that you are successful in breaking your cycle.

Back in the 80's I was a recreational drug user and thankfully stopped before I got into a more problematic (addictive) cycle.

I really can't credit myself with kicking it, what happened was I became pregnant with my first child, once I saw that positive on the test stick, there was no problem kicking it.

Unfortunately, 25 years later, I have become an alcohol abuser, which I am trying to kick now. I wish you the best of luck in wrestling your dragon.

My son just graduated law school last May and from his description I know what a grueling schedule you are under...just remember all of the benefits that will come your way once you pass the bar, you have a bright future, keep the faith that you can kick this monster to the curb.

Welcome!! (I'm new too).
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Old 01-03-2012, 01:18 PM
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Hi Free2012

Thanks for sharing your story. I've never done coke myself but I can identify with your story a lot

Support was the key for me staying in recovery - accepting my problem, and learning to reach out when I was struggling.

I know you'll find support here

You may also want to check out our substance abuse forum as well:
Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Welcome!
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Old 01-04-2012, 10:38 AM
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Thanks everyone for your support and kind words. I have yet to officially reach out for treatment/counseling but this is part of my first step in beating this terrible addiction and getting my life back. Thank you all!
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Old 01-04-2012, 02:03 PM
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7 years for your brain to recover. Stay stopped!
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Old 06-12-2012, 12:06 AM
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I flirted with coke when I would go to visit my friends. I have always preferred drinking to drugs. Now I get high at least two maybe three times a week. This I know is not "normal". I tell myself I will stop and then I do it again because I deserve the treat. I spend money I don't have and cycle through depression, anxiety, and guilt. I suffer than I splurge. I think it will be okay and it's not that bad. These are the lies I tell myself. I am moody and irritable. I believe no one likes me.

If I lose my friends than I will be alone and I do not want to go around telling people I am an addict. I think part of the problem is my low self esteem and I must not love myself. I am selfish and a fool for thinking these things. My family has many addictions and I do not think smoking pot is no big deal. Drugs are drugs right. I hate my life and want to keep the party going so I can pretend I am worthwhile and lovable. I am tired of disappointing myself and I am tired of being alone. I lost my driver's license for drinking and driving and I do not have a problem. Yeah right, I seem to have many problems. I do not know how to fix myself.

I have a hard time sleeping at night, stress, worry, and disappointment make it hard to sleep. I lost my job and now I worry even more about money. Thoughts of suicide play in my head and thoughts of running away. I can't run because I have tried that before and missing my children keep me from ever being happy. I am scared to die and leave my children alone in this world. I feel this is very selfish and I glimpse light at the end of the tunnel.

It frightens me that I can never not know the evil and pain this world has to offer. I have seen first hand violence and victim. It breaks my heart and I get so depressed.

I have talked to counsellors and therapists. I become bored with them and tired of being a victim. I want to be strong, I do not want to live a life where I am constantly needing support and feeling like everyone is so much better equipped for life than I am.

I need help to remember this and all the other reason why I do not want to go out and drink and get high.
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Old 06-12-2012, 12:46 AM
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I personally snorted , smoked it and shot it. That drug is nothing but a waste of everything you can think of. Life without it is so much better , the high you will receive is something to see. I have been coke free for well over 2 years.

You can to
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Old 06-12-2012, 12:56 AM
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Hi, I developed a hard core habit when I lived in London for a year. I was seeing a guy who bought a lot and had a lot of money so it was endless. My addictive personality soaked it up on weekends then nearly almost daily. We eventually broke up so I had no choice to go cold turkey (I was a poor backpacker). It took 6 months of not enjoying life all that much but soon enough it was a forgotten memory. 10 years later and alcohol is my problem. I'm trying to remember the strength I had to quit coke and know that these alc cravings will eventually pass too.

All the best to u, u can do it! Think of the $$$ you'll save
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Old 06-12-2012, 03:39 AM
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Originally Posted by Free2012 View Post
No amount seems to satisfy

Free2012
Once you can accept that this will never change, and if you continue the problems will get worse, you are on your way to recovery.

You have started that journey.

If you work it you will make it.

welcome to SR
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