Xyphen

14 days sober. Anxiety got kinda bad tonight. I think its because I decided to eat a bunch of snacks right before my anxiety normally starts. Then I caved and took 3/4 of a clonazepam and 1/2 of a beta blocker, and even then it took two hours for me to feel somewhat normal again. I'm calling my Doctor tomorrow and I sure hope she gives me some good news. I could really use that right now. I hope she tells me that this is perfectly normal and the clonazepam beta blocker combo is safe for now. Or she gives me a prescription for an anti-anxiety medication that is non-addictive and won'r cause withdrawals if I stop taking it. This anxiety crap is killing me. Each day is great but the dread of knowing the nightly anxiety is coming ruins it. And even EATING is causing anxiety now. I have to have only small meals and nothing after 9:00pm or my anxiety will be twice as bad. I don't know what to do anymore. I know that I can't drink because I'll have to go through all this crap again. And my anxiety doesn't seem to be getting any better. I feel trapped. I just wish I knew if/when this will all get better and I can feel normal again with no alcohol or meds. Sorry for bothering everyone on SR with my problems. I know there are people far worse off than me. Thanks for reading.

jocata

Hey Xyphen, I know how you feel. I've been going thru the same thing. I have been reading about post acute withdrawal syndrome, and I fit the symptoms of it pretty good.

I have to watch what I eat, especially foods with sugar and caffeine.

Anticipating the anxiety is probably making it worse as well.

I started exercising yesterday and it made me feel pretty good.

Do a google search on Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome(PAWS), there are some really good articles about it, with a lot of strategies for dealing with. The good news is that it usually diminishes with time.

Hang in there.

God bless.

Xyphen

Thanks, Jocata. I will definitely look into this PAWS. And you're right, if I stay away from sugars it will probably be better. My snacks included some pudding and an oats and honey granola bar. I should stick to fruits and vegetables for snacks. Probably vegetables. When I got sober I thought, "Oh just a week or so and I'll be back to normal." Which is what would be the case if I did this a year ago. I guess my alcohol dependence got progressively and exponentially worse with time. I'm worried that I may have caused permanent damage. But you're also right about anticipating it. I'll try to distract myself more. Going to hang out with some friends tomorrow. Hopefully that will help. Thanks.

Frankie12

Hi Xyphen,
Congratulations with having made it through 14 days! Well done.

I am sorry that you are still dealing with your anxiety. I hope that your Dr. will be able to help you with that. Don't forget Ht7 and your wrists, either.

ACT10Npack

Congratulations with having made it through 14 days! I do have anxiety and try to manage but sometime it gets to me. I just try to get through it.

Xyphen

Thanks Frankie and Action. I forgot about the Ht7 I will try that when it comes back again tomorrow. Finally feeling better now, going to try and get some sleep. I'll update here about what my Doc says. Thanks guys.

DayTrader

While it's pretty normal Xyphen......in other words, lots of ppl go through it......know that you don't have to keep experience those feelings. For me, they didn't go away very quickly at all. I did the diet thing, tried to sleep more (that was really tough though), tried to exercise more, and made a lot of other changes as well.

Many of those things work for many ppl.....for some of us, they're not enough though. Just know, if it doesn't clear up, there are other solutions available - one of which is in AA's program. .....and that's why I'm a member in good standing - because it's taught me what to do and a new way to live so those types of emotions are kept at a dull roar.

Dee74

Best of luck with your appointment Xyphen

D

Xyphen

Daytrader, thanks for the tips. I'll try looking for some diets and perhaps doing some exercise during the day when I'm feeling okay. As far as AA goes, I've been going on and off for years and it has never really worked for me, though I know it has worked for millions of people. I know its a great system but I'm looking for another recovery program. SR is great for now, but I believe AA is more about STAYING sober rather than knowing how to deal with PAWS. I could be wrong. I just wanna get through the anxiety before I start implementing plans to continue sobriety. My anxiety is enough to keep me sober for now.

Thanks, Dee! Your presence alone is a huge support to the SR community. I can't thank you enough for all you've written me since I joined.

ACT10Npack

Some common-sense ways to treat PAWS include

• Eating a balanced diet
• Avoiding caffeine and sugar
• Exercising
• Relaxation training
• Developing a support system
• Maintaining healthy relationships

DayTrader

Okey Dokey Xyphen..... that hasn't been what I've seen/experienced but it's your call to make.

For me, anxiety, fear, depression........etc........those things ARE my alcoholism. If you're able to deal with and treat those things on your own, my hat's off to you. And like I said, diet tips, work out routines, not drinking, seeking balance, trying to treat PAWS.......those all sound well and good but they don't treat the brand of alcoholism I have. I needed more.

Best of luck and make sure to let us know how it's working for ya! That's how we all learn

artsoul

I'm glad you're consulting with your doctor. I went to a psychiatrist to sort out some of my issues after getting sober. I just wanted to say that there are solutions out there and you don't have to suffer.....

Xyphen

Well I talked to the receptionist at my Doctor's office and it seems she flaked on me. She told me that she would ask the doctor the questions I gave her and would call me back. No call came, and when I tried calling again an hour later they had already left for the day. Wonderful. So I called my regular Doctor and asked the receptionist if he could call me back so I could ask him a few questions about a medication the doctor he referred me to gave me, and that message got lost somehow as well. So... I'll try again tomorrow.

Tonight, however, something strange happened. I actually SLEPT through part of my anxiety. Around 1:00am I just laid down on my bed and next thing I knew, it was 3:30. So now I'm feeling okay, haven't taken any meds, and I'm going to play some Xbox. I figure I'll try to stay up until about 7:00pm and crash in an attempt to bring my sleep cycle back to a state of normalcy. Perhaps then my anxiety will be a bit easier to control. We shall see.

Oh and as always, thanks for the support, SR.

And DayTrader, sorry if I was too forward about my feelings for AA. But I assure you, I'm not dealing with any of this on my own.

DayTrader

No problem bro. Didn't hurt my feelings one bit. I was convinced I knew what was best for me and how to go about getting it for a long time too.

As I've said in my first post and many times before, some ppl with drinking problems ARE able to put the drink down, straighten their lives out, get past the things that have been bothering them / making their life painful, and go on about the business of living a happy life. Some of us, like me, thought we could do all that stuff but never managed to pull it off.....we couldn't seem to make it happen. If you can do it for yourself (ie, do it on your own) my hat's off to you. If you can't, there are always other options.

All my best to you in your search.

unentschieden

Hi Xyphen,

I'm glad to hear you're hanging in there! Doctor's offices can be very frustrating, and thats why I followed my excellent doctor when she moved 25 miles away.

I haven't wanted to post about my anxiety for the same reason you stated: I'm sure a lot of people have it a lot worse than me. But that's what seems so great on SR...people are there for you whenever you need it!

Today I've been so angry that I can't turn off my feelings with alcohol...I don't want to feel constantly pissed about everything...

Can you remember how you used to deal with stress and anxiety before turning to alcohol?

Xyphen

DayTrader, thanks again for the support. I really do appreciate it. I guess there is a possibility that I am being a little overconfident about my recovery. Heck, I may still even be in the pink cloud. But if there is for an instant a desire to drink strong enough for me to consider hopping on my bike and going to the grocery store, I'll seek other options. I may give AA another shot. I mean, it can't hurt. This morning I spent a good few hours on Recovery Chat, mostly just following the conversation and that helped a lot. lurking really.

Unentschieden, Yeah my doctor finally called back today and called in a prescription for a much weaker benzo called Serax, or Oxazepam, because I was expressing concern about the risk of dependency with Clonazepam. Serax is still addictive but from my understanding the side effects and withdrawals from coming off it are far less extreme. Only thing is my pharmacy was closed before I could go pick it up! So I'll do it first thing in the morning and see how my anxiety gets tonight. Thanks.

Also, no I really can't remember what I used to do about my stress. I imagine I punched stuff or played video games. I've been playing lots of games and I plan to go see my counselor soon. That should help.

unentschieden

Perhaps it was a mood swing, but my feelings stabilized quite a bit this evening after listening to fleetwood mac's "albatross.". Maybe it could help you. I found a new favorite herbal tea: Rishi tangerine ginger. It also chills me out.

I remembered tonight that before alcohol regular exercise was absolutely essential for equanimity. I plan to get a three month membership to a yoga studio tomorrow.

Music, tea, and exercise. Seems weird, spending my evenings doing these things again.

GirlFromCO

Ooooh anxiety sucks! Your panicky feelings can't hurt you, but drinking can. I know it's easier said than done, but it helps me to distance myself from anxious feelings when they start happening. I have this kind of silly inner dialogue that I go through when it happens.

Feelings: I'm not feeling good. Something is wrong. Pay attention.
Me: Okay. Thanks for letting me know.
Feelings: Oh man, this just isn't right. Something is wrong I just know it. You'd better get concerned about this.
Me: What is wrong? Are you telling me this because I have a good reason to be worried? Is there a tiger in my closet? Or are you telling me this because something else is wrong and you just don't know how to say it? Am I actually hungry, thirsty, tired, bored, or frustrated? Does my body need exercise? Do I need love from someone? What are you really trying to tell me?
Feelings: Don't ask me that! I'm panicking, can't you see?! Pay attention to me! This is serious!
Me: Okay, cool. When you're ready to talk like a grown up, get back to me.

The sillier you can make it, the better IMO. When you can examine those feelings from a distance they get easier to deal with.