Help!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 5
Help!
Hello,
I have been glancing at these forums for a few weeks now and I have finally gotten up the courage to do some posting. I am 26 years old and I have spent the last 8 years living in a world that revolves around alcohol and partying. I have found myself in the unique position where I no longer possess any interests, skills or hobbies. Everyday not drinking is spent waiting for the day that I can go out and get hammered with my friends. After a particularly embarassing evening I woke up and decided that I would be done drinking. That was November 1st, 2011. The entire month of November I was working nonstop and managed to not have a single drop. Because of my busy schedule temptation was not waiting. I was very proud of myself, but soon came to the conclusion that without the influence of alcohol my life is rather boring. I have next to no interests with my friends(other than drinking) and nothing in my life that I am remotely interested in or passionate about.
On December 1st, 2011. I got drunk again. I made myself the excuse that I should be proud that I went a month and gave in. I drank a few times over the next few weeks and of course got embarrassingly drunk in public. From Xmas to the New Year I binge drank every night spent all my money and made more of a fool of myself. Now on January 3rd. I want to go back to that November but I cannot find the strength to even avoid one beer. I am not working and living alone. I spend 90 percent of my day in bed sleeping and all night sitting on my computer unable to sleep. How do I find the strength I had in November. Does the loneliness go away? How do I rediscover life without alcohol?
I have been glancing at these forums for a few weeks now and I have finally gotten up the courage to do some posting. I am 26 years old and I have spent the last 8 years living in a world that revolves around alcohol and partying. I have found myself in the unique position where I no longer possess any interests, skills or hobbies. Everyday not drinking is spent waiting for the day that I can go out and get hammered with my friends. After a particularly embarassing evening I woke up and decided that I would be done drinking. That was November 1st, 2011. The entire month of November I was working nonstop and managed to not have a single drop. Because of my busy schedule temptation was not waiting. I was very proud of myself, but soon came to the conclusion that without the influence of alcohol my life is rather boring. I have next to no interests with my friends(other than drinking) and nothing in my life that I am remotely interested in or passionate about.
On December 1st, 2011. I got drunk again. I made myself the excuse that I should be proud that I went a month and gave in. I drank a few times over the next few weeks and of course got embarrassingly drunk in public. From Xmas to the New Year I binge drank every night spent all my money and made more of a fool of myself. Now on January 3rd. I want to go back to that November but I cannot find the strength to even avoid one beer. I am not working and living alone. I spend 90 percent of my day in bed sleeping and all night sitting on my computer unable to sleep. How do I find the strength I had in November. Does the loneliness go away? How do I rediscover life without alcohol?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
How you doing Nick?...Welcome....You might want to try a few AA meetings....Just go and listen...See some people just like you that are doing something about it. It changed my life. Good luck to you.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 14
Let me tell you two semi-inspirational stories:
I am self conscious and I have a hard time trying new things and meeting new people. I'd be embarrassed to take a class and learn to water ski, because I'm a doof, I've never water ski'd before, and I will look like an ass in front of an instructor who is probably a pro skier. But if you think about it, everybody this guy sees can't water ski. Some of them, surely, worse than I. And if I can make it through a couple of sessions - somebody else might join the group, and I will have two lessons on them. They might even ask me for advice. And thus, you have a new hobby.
Secondly, I used to be afraid of moving because I'd have to make new friends. I think this comes from childhood. In my business, I move every couple of years. And I dread it, and struggle through two years in a new location with no friends. Then move again. And one day, I had my water-ski revelation (above), and joined a bowling league. In about two weeks, I had a handful of friends. By the end of the season, I had 3-4 friends and about 40 acquaintances. I was as terrible a bowler when I finished as when I began. But I ate a lot of free popcorn, purchased some ugly shoes, and made some friends.
You are but one par-3 course away from a new hobby, and one foursome away from three new friends. Personally, I get myself all worked up about it and would wish away an entire summer before I walked into the golf course and said "single seeking threesome". But once you suck up your courage and go in there... it ain't that bad. Take it from me.
I am self conscious and I have a hard time trying new things and meeting new people. I'd be embarrassed to take a class and learn to water ski, because I'm a doof, I've never water ski'd before, and I will look like an ass in front of an instructor who is probably a pro skier. But if you think about it, everybody this guy sees can't water ski. Some of them, surely, worse than I. And if I can make it through a couple of sessions - somebody else might join the group, and I will have two lessons on them. They might even ask me for advice. And thus, you have a new hobby.
Secondly, I used to be afraid of moving because I'd have to make new friends. I think this comes from childhood. In my business, I move every couple of years. And I dread it, and struggle through two years in a new location with no friends. Then move again. And one day, I had my water-ski revelation (above), and joined a bowling league. In about two weeks, I had a handful of friends. By the end of the season, I had 3-4 friends and about 40 acquaintances. I was as terrible a bowler when I finished as when I began. But I ate a lot of free popcorn, purchased some ugly shoes, and made some friends.
You are but one par-3 course away from a new hobby, and one foursome away from three new friends. Personally, I get myself all worked up about it and would wish away an entire summer before I walked into the golf course and said "single seeking threesome". But once you suck up your courage and go in there... it ain't that bad. Take it from me.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
i would hope you consider some FTF support too. you are alone except for your drinking social life. is there anyone you can confide in?
i hope you keep coming back here for interactions and help too.
and you are smart to realize the problem before you get older and worse off....it's easier to do this at 26 than age 36, 46.
You CAN turn things around and you WANT to....welcome!
i hope you keep coming back here for interactions and help too.
and you are smart to realize the problem before you get older and worse off....it's easier to do this at 26 than age 36, 46.
You CAN turn things around and you WANT to....welcome!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,429
Hi Nick
Welcome
I think a lot of us found that we were often able to stay sober for limited times if we had enough riding on us staying sober.
I was able for many years not to drink when I was working on a project, for example - but I'd revert to type the night the project was done (because alcoholism is progressive tho, I eventually lost that ability btw - I also lost my career with it).
That was a forced abstinence - it's not the same as the recovery I have now. I don't drink because I genuinely don't want to, not because I can't.
I used to think life was boring without alcohol too - but to be honest I didn't really do much to find fulfillment. I tended to do the same kinds of things I'd do when drinking, only not drink.
It's little wonder I was bored.
When I quit for good I looked at my life and I made a lot of changes - some pretty sweeping - 5 years on and my lifes not boring now - in fact it's the best it's ever been
It took some time and effort to build a sober life tho - and support was vital.
You'll find a lot of support, and few ideas, here
good to have you with us
D
Welcome
I think a lot of us found that we were often able to stay sober for limited times if we had enough riding on us staying sober.
I was able for many years not to drink when I was working on a project, for example - but I'd revert to type the night the project was done (because alcoholism is progressive tho, I eventually lost that ability btw - I also lost my career with it).
That was a forced abstinence - it's not the same as the recovery I have now. I don't drink because I genuinely don't want to, not because I can't.
I used to think life was boring without alcohol too - but to be honest I didn't really do much to find fulfillment. I tended to do the same kinds of things I'd do when drinking, only not drink.
It's little wonder I was bored.
When I quit for good I looked at my life and I made a lot of changes - some pretty sweeping - 5 years on and my lifes not boring now - in fact it's the best it's ever been
It took some time and effort to build a sober life tho - and support was vital.
You'll find a lot of support, and few ideas, here
good to have you with us
D
Came to Believe
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Montgomery AL
Posts: 507
Welcome Nick. As others have said, isolation is very bad for us. Spending too much time in my own head has always led me right back to the bottle. Before I quit drinking, I lived a very isolated lifestyle. Even at work, I rarely spoke to others. I had to find a way to fill that void. AA did that for me. I've been sober a little over a hundred days and now I have friends, people I talk to daily, events to attend -- because of AA. I'm still not a very outgoing person, but I never have to sit around my house bored out of my skull. I would encourage you to try that.
--Fenris.
--Fenris.
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