New here.. Day 1.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3
New here.. Day 1.
I suppose I'll be long-winded(which kind of goes against my nature, but... I'm sure it'll be good to get some things off of my chest).
I'm only 25... I've only heavily drank for the past couple of years - maybe 3. It all started when I began working security at a local bar and the only way I could NOT commit felony assault every night was to get as drunk and stupid as those who I was babysitting(great excuse, right? .... not)
Before that, I maybe drank a 6 pack every month.. and never all at once. I used to absolutely hate the idea of any "external substance" or the idea of being intoxicated by anything. In high school, I got pretty drunk a couple of times and... the resulting hang over/throwing up, etc., pretty much turned me off from it for quite some time. I'd have a beer every now and then, but never got "drunk" again until I started working at that bar.
From working at that bar, I met a guy who ended up being my roommate and closest friend for almost 2 years.. and he liked to party. At first, I didn't like it.. but I DID like the hot 20 year old girls who were coming over and getting drunk at our apartment almost every night... catch was, again, I absolutely couldn't stand their presence while sober.. so I got drunk(again.. great excuse, right? no..). At this same time, I'd helped start a fairly successful online venture.. so money wasn't ever an issue and my hours were determined by me. I'd work 18 hour days for 4-5 days and be "set" to party for 3-4 days as I'd have PLENTY of $ flowing in... so that's what I did. This started out with me never really getting drunk(main reason was because I had/have a lot of expensive computer equipment, TV's, etc., and I wanted to make sure they didn't get broken... as the computers especially were/are my livelihood)... then it turned into getting pretty drunk basically 3-4 nights per week.
That went on for a while, then I had a really bad experience with GERD that resulted in very severe pain and a 24 hour stay at the hospital... and 4k in medical debt... and a strained relationship that I was just beginning. I was in a ton of pain, but didn't feel "sick".. so my body was like.. "HEY GO DO SOMETHING", then I'd try... and I couldn't.. which resulted in frustration. It was the only time in my life when I insulted my grandmother, which to this day I still apologize for. Anyways, I was sober for 3-4 months during this, then "gradually" got back into partying.. though I was staying in and drinking with a couple of "friends" rather than going out to bars.
Then I met a girl... who was the biggest mistake of my life. She had borderline personality disorder and eventually drug me down with her.. "hey baby, let's get drunk and do cocaine" .... "hey baby, let's get drunk and do ecstacy".. etc etc. I thankfully got rid of her after about 9 months, then was pretty straight and arrow for a couple months after that.. would mostly just have a couple of beers at night and good conversation with friends with the random "bender" thrown in.
This was about July of 2011... at some point here, I just... went crazy. Started getting raging drunk as much as possible up until a few weeks after my birthday(Aug 18).. then took a break for a couple weeks.
Now here I am. I'm a big "self improvement" type - well, was.. not sure I can objectively say that now(or could have yesterday anyway). I don't like NOT being productive, and that's the main reason I am stopping. I haven't damaged any relationships or anything of that nature(usually when drinking, my already existing "soft side" becomes WAY more "soft").. but I have damaged my bank account which keeps me from doing things I TRULY enjoy. I'm broke because I drink and I drink because I'm broke(and bored), so it's a never ending spiral of WTF.
I spent a good portion of my evening reading over many stories on here(and thank you for sharing - they helped me immensely) and I will continue to do so. The stories others have shared has put a lot of things into perspective.. and truthfully, I never want to get to the "point" some of you unfortunately got to.. so that's why the buck has to and will stop here for me.
I feel like I'm rambling and I'm not so good at talking about myself.. I'm better at listening.
Here's to a more clearly lived 2012 and beyond! Now I will down this Capri Sun because they're awesome.
I'm only 25... I've only heavily drank for the past couple of years - maybe 3. It all started when I began working security at a local bar and the only way I could NOT commit felony assault every night was to get as drunk and stupid as those who I was babysitting(great excuse, right? .... not)
Before that, I maybe drank a 6 pack every month.. and never all at once. I used to absolutely hate the idea of any "external substance" or the idea of being intoxicated by anything. In high school, I got pretty drunk a couple of times and... the resulting hang over/throwing up, etc., pretty much turned me off from it for quite some time. I'd have a beer every now and then, but never got "drunk" again until I started working at that bar.
From working at that bar, I met a guy who ended up being my roommate and closest friend for almost 2 years.. and he liked to party. At first, I didn't like it.. but I DID like the hot 20 year old girls who were coming over and getting drunk at our apartment almost every night... catch was, again, I absolutely couldn't stand their presence while sober.. so I got drunk(again.. great excuse, right? no..). At this same time, I'd helped start a fairly successful online venture.. so money wasn't ever an issue and my hours were determined by me. I'd work 18 hour days for 4-5 days and be "set" to party for 3-4 days as I'd have PLENTY of $ flowing in... so that's what I did. This started out with me never really getting drunk(main reason was because I had/have a lot of expensive computer equipment, TV's, etc., and I wanted to make sure they didn't get broken... as the computers especially were/are my livelihood)... then it turned into getting pretty drunk basically 3-4 nights per week.
That went on for a while, then I had a really bad experience with GERD that resulted in very severe pain and a 24 hour stay at the hospital... and 4k in medical debt... and a strained relationship that I was just beginning. I was in a ton of pain, but didn't feel "sick".. so my body was like.. "HEY GO DO SOMETHING", then I'd try... and I couldn't.. which resulted in frustration. It was the only time in my life when I insulted my grandmother, which to this day I still apologize for. Anyways, I was sober for 3-4 months during this, then "gradually" got back into partying.. though I was staying in and drinking with a couple of "friends" rather than going out to bars.
Then I met a girl... who was the biggest mistake of my life. She had borderline personality disorder and eventually drug me down with her.. "hey baby, let's get drunk and do cocaine" .... "hey baby, let's get drunk and do ecstacy".. etc etc. I thankfully got rid of her after about 9 months, then was pretty straight and arrow for a couple months after that.. would mostly just have a couple of beers at night and good conversation with friends with the random "bender" thrown in.
This was about July of 2011... at some point here, I just... went crazy. Started getting raging drunk as much as possible up until a few weeks after my birthday(Aug 18).. then took a break for a couple weeks.
Now here I am. I'm a big "self improvement" type - well, was.. not sure I can objectively say that now(or could have yesterday anyway). I don't like NOT being productive, and that's the main reason I am stopping. I haven't damaged any relationships or anything of that nature(usually when drinking, my already existing "soft side" becomes WAY more "soft").. but I have damaged my bank account which keeps me from doing things I TRULY enjoy. I'm broke because I drink and I drink because I'm broke(and bored), so it's a never ending spiral of WTF.
I spent a good portion of my evening reading over many stories on here(and thank you for sharing - they helped me immensely) and I will continue to do so. The stories others have shared has put a lot of things into perspective.. and truthfully, I never want to get to the "point" some of you unfortunately got to.. so that's why the buck has to and will stop here for me.
I feel like I'm rambling and I'm not so good at talking about myself.. I'm better at listening.
Here's to a more clearly lived 2012 and beyond! Now I will down this Capri Sun because they're awesome.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome trevesty!
Your post reminds me a lot of myself at your age.
I drank off and on (and dabbled in drugs) for a long time, depending on the circumstances, who my friends were, etc.... Looking back, I'm sure I overdid it more often than I was willing to admit at the time, but it didn't seem like a big deal. It wasn't until my early 30's that I started realizing I had turned a corner somewhere and was now using alcohol for more and more "reasons."
I'm so glad you've joined us and that you're having this insight now!
The experience and support of others can keep us from digging a deeper hole.
Your post reminds me a lot of myself at your age.
I drank off and on (and dabbled in drugs) for a long time, depending on the circumstances, who my friends were, etc.... Looking back, I'm sure I overdid it more often than I was willing to admit at the time, but it didn't seem like a big deal. It wasn't until my early 30's that I started realizing I had turned a corner somewhere and was now using alcohol for more and more "reasons."
I'm so glad you've joined us and that you're having this insight now!
The experience and support of others can keep us from digging a deeper hole.
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Welcome trevesty!
Hey you mean that it only takes three years or so of totally messing yourself up to quit??? Listen bud if only I had wised up that fast! I read all the stories here about relapse and like you I like to learn the easy way when possible. I quit last year and no relapse yet.
If only I had quit drinking in my 20s before I ever had an alcohol problem. See I was a late bloomer and did not become a drunk until my 50's. If you think you get sick now wait till later if you don't quit now and learn the easy way. Much harder to bear.
Hey you mean that it only takes three years or so of totally messing yourself up to quit??? Listen bud if only I had wised up that fast! I read all the stories here about relapse and like you I like to learn the easy way when possible. I quit last year and no relapse yet.
If only I had quit drinking in my 20s before I ever had an alcohol problem. See I was a late bloomer and did not become a drunk until my 50's. If you think you get sick now wait till later if you don't quit now and learn the easy way. Much harder to bear.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Missouri
Posts: 133
Welcome! I'm 36 and was well on my way to screwing up my life when I was 25. Sure wish now I had the sence to recognize I had a problem then. I would have saved my self a lot of pain, wasted opportunities, and money. By taking this on now you will surely make your life so much better down the line.
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